Hello! I have persistent recurring uncomfortable memories that are making me anxious and sedate, so much so I'm getting trembles and physical signs of anxiety. These periods of anxiousness can last anywhere from two hours to a week, so far it's the latter. It can be one small thing that will take me back to a bad memory and it snowballs. In my case, an old friend came in and brought up something they found funny to try and embarrass me, and instead it made me anxious. I do think that I exaggerate these situations in my mind also and make them much worse.
I know that having lots of cringey thoughts before bed is natural, but it is far beyond cringe to me.
Memories of myself that most would find funny in hindsight, I get incredibly anxious over and I keep telling myself how much of a terrible person I am. It's inescapable. I feel as though no one has ever been as bad as myself.
For an example, when I was 14/15 at my first party and I kissed a boy, and because of that I get anxiety incase I upset anyone, or made anyone uncomfortable, or if my partner currently will be angry, and then I call myself trash for doing so. It is irrational and I hate it. Do any of you have coping mechanisms? When I'm at work and busy they do tend to dissipate.
Any kind of intrusive/unwated thought will only get worse as long as you try to avoid them. What you need to try and do is to not react to these thoughts and just let them float away on their own. Obviously, this is going to be difficult because theyre making you anxious and upset. It will get easier with practice though. When you have an uncomfortable thought/memory, try not to judge it (or yourself) or follow it down the rabbit hole, so to speak. Perhaps try meditation as this helps to teach us to detach from our thoughts. All the best x
I'll have a look into it the way I overcame my issues initially was talk to anyone that was involved in those memories to reiterate what happened, so that I knew it wasn't as bad as what I remember, but that ended up making me obsessive and think about OTHER things. Meditation seems like a good avenue I haven't tried. I've been brought up to aspire to be perfect and not do anything impure, and I just shame myself for anything that goes against that. Accepting memories seems to be easier than forgetting, thanks for your swift response x
The trouble with aspiring to be perfect is that it ALWAYS brings misery and dissapointment because it's unattainable. Nobody is perfect, no matter how they might present themselves to the world. You are only human, just like the rest of us. Shame and guilt are useless emotions which are very damaging. Try to forgive yourself for any percieved wrongdoings in the past (I say percieved because I'm sure you have nothing to feel guilty for). Self-forgiveness is nonetheless important because you obviously feel bad about aspects of your past. Meditation can help you to release and let go of these feelings. Acceptance of the memories is definately key, because we can't ever change the past no matter how hard we try. There are many aspects of my past that I'm not proud of, that make me cringe or wonder what on earth I was thinking. I don't even recognise my former self in memories sometimes, but we all grow and change. I try to accept the past, forgive myself for that which I am not proud of and move on. It's not always easy though, that's for sure. All the best x
Three days on and not reacting to these bad thoughts has helped SO MUCH. I was skeptical, but not bracing myself and allowing these memories to pass over me has allowed me to blend them into other random thoughts. Meditation is definitely the way forward. Reminding myself I'm not the worst person in the world, or the first to get tipsy and kiss people, helps to! Thank you so much. My anxiety has been chaotic this month, my worries sound trivial but I've been losing a lot of sleep and exaggerating things. "No one will ever like me, I'm a terrible person etc". I am on the mend