I have split from partner and feel in major panic what can I do?

Mental health
1

My ex has gone back with his previous partner. He goes to groups (dancing and singing) 3 times a week. She is rich, strong and confident. I am none of these. He lost his license to drive and now she is drving him everywhere. He is selling his house, moving in with her and they are going on cruises in the future. I was a stopgap as the had fallen out. He  told me he loved me regularly and I thought we had a future together. She is more suited to him as they have more in common.

I know the logic of all this, but I am shocked by the way its all happened. How can I get my confidence back and eleviate this huge panic that I feel? Has anyone had a similar problem?

2

God yes!  I am feeling the same here.. the guy I was seeing for a bit and on and off for a year had definitively left to be with someone else..

I assume it's someone from the past and they are totally in love..

it's hard.. It's been 2 months, 2 monbths ago he was with me..

It hurts.. big time.. got ups and downs..

today has been a very low.. I felt like crying all day..

I try to convince myself am still yung and beautiful, go on dates but ti odesn't really work..

I feel like I wasn't good enough either.. and I won't be for the next person.. not active enough, not enough money, not enough ambition.. too old now..

3

sorry, didn't mean to get you even more down!

I am trying, all I'm sayimng there are good days and bad days..

I try to get out and about as much as possible, meet new people and go on dates.. even crap ones make me feel better.. for a minute..

what I miss is friends.. all mine are in relationships so it makes things harder..

how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

4

I am feeling old today, brought up son as single parent..he's now with girl who is jealous of me, hardly see them. I chose a man 15 years older thinking this was a safe bet! Yes the one with him is more suitable, but like you said it just makes you feel more inadequate.  I go to a walking group every two weeks, which is company.  I  know that friends are good, but most of my friends are depressed due to ill health or losses. I guess we have to plod on and try to look after ourselves, as no-one else is going to.

Thanks for your reply Stephanie, take care.... Barbara

5

Hey

I know break ups are hard we've all been there but you have to remember you are not alone! You'll get over this, just give it time. Good & bad days are normal.

Try to write a to do list of things you feel might help to bring your confidence back.. treat yourself, have pamper days & try to enjoy time on your own. It's great that you've gotten yourself into a hobby!

I know people say get back out there, go on dates, meet a new guy... but i think you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I hope my opinion helps in some way.

6

Thanks BeeM.. I guess theres no quick fix, and I have to accept that there will be bad days.  I am grateful for your help.

7

Barbara,

Something else too.. You say, you thought being with someone older was a safe bet..

Well thats a lesson for all of us that there is no safe bet and we should not settle for less!

I am only 40 but a couple of years ago I panicked and tried with men my age and/or not attractive.. At all.. To me.. Because I had no confidence left.. But they left anyway..

And good riddance as I wasted time with them..

Now I only go for men I like, really.. And I think men like that, a sort of confidence in your choices.. Havent found the one yet but I will..😊

8

I thought that his age would make him more stable and mature, but he was worse than a teenager! You're right, there's no safe bet and no hope when the trusts gone. Good luck with your search..Barbara