I have to stop again

General health and lifestyle
1

I get going strong but again fail... I have alot on my plate right no and rying so hard to deal with everything but ... then I slip

2

then my key board decides not to work right

lol

3

It's so hard, isn't it Sue?  I am sorry you are struggling.  I am pretty much the same, but still trying hard.  It's hard enough when things are going smoothly, but when you have troubles it's so much harder.

Sending you a hug and I will keep you in my thoughts, sorry that I can't do more.

Keep trying.

Pat xx

4

I know how hard it is. Yes, it's hard. But just look at the next day, and go minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. 

5

That is what I'm doing. I had a glass of wine before dinner tonight and enjoyed it. I am an all or nothing person. I have to finish off the bottle and don't see the point in putting it back in the fridge. OH had a couple of small glasses and I had one and he put it back in the fridge, which I finished tonight. There was an unopened bottle of champagne which my daughter had been given, that looked very inviting. Ended up having coffee instead.

6

Hi Sue,

It is very difficult.

I felt very down today due to long-standing issues, lack of sleep (I've had bad insomnia and been on sleeping tablets for over two years now) and on-going symptoms, especially aching joints and sweating.

Unfortunately, I gave in to it and had some drinks.  Actually, for a while, this eased the symptoms.  But now I feel like I did before I had the drinks and am back to square one.

I have an appointment with Addictions people this coming Thursday, but this is a long struggle.

I wish you well, Sue. 

7

Thank you Pat xoxo

8

Thank you

9

 good for you

 

10

one of the main reasons I drink is to sleep

11

that is great

12

Thanks sue. It was really hard. Am sure if the champagne had been mine I'd probably have opened it, and of course a waste of money putting it back in the fridge. OH and I would have to have finished it off!!

my daughter had been promoted to manager and her colleagues had given the champagne to her, so obviously I couldn't drink it.

roll back 10 years ago, I'd have drunk it and then replaced it. So I suppose that's a positive thing. The fact she put it in the fridge is also a good thing. She would have hidden it and not said anything about it.

ive just re-read my post and now thing how pathetic it sounds, like I'm doing some big thing, but in reality 'normal' people wouldn't have even thought about it.

13

Oh gosh we are all so very different; even a moderate amount of drink really messes with my sleep; it knocks me out like a light for 4 hours solid (I can count on it being just the 4 hours!) and then I just cannot get any more sleep and I feel awful and can't function. Knowing really why we do it to ourselves, when it obviously we would feel better if we didn't is the million dollar question and sometimes I think it does come down to a habit we just can't break

14

I had quit for 4 months, then found I could have a bottle of wine and stop again... then it crept right bak to where I began

15

But you have had really good success in the past and you should be really proud of having quit for 4 months hold on to that and pat yourself on the back (can't say I've ever been able to that.) There is a website that has really helped me called 'Living Life To The Full' which is free and not just about problems with drink but aims to make you see life in general differently. It is written by a GP and is so simple and down to earth you should give it a try. In fact I should re-visit it right now!

16

thank you I will check it out

17

It's not pathetic, it's a great step forward. If I ask my husband to only eat the 1 cake in the house, he can never do it, and as for a trifle !! No chance,he says he will just have 1 portion, but by the end of the night the whole family trifle has gone !! I try to explain to him that is like me opening a bottle of wine and not drinking it all , he can't quite see the comparison , and I suppose it's not quite the same thing. But it is a similar compulsion .

so I say well done 😃

18

I know how you feel . Dealing with our demons is enough , but outside pressure is bloody hard to cope with .

i am now on SelIncro to try and help with my drinking.

But my husband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer at 54 this year , and my mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's . 😱😱

so between the drinking issue and the family problems , my head is spinning . Bring on the wine I would say , but I know I can't help my darling husband with his cancer or my lovely mum who is slipping away from me more and more 😢 I really need to cope with my drinking . 

I can't help my family being this person 😓

i feel sad worthless and afraid . 

19

Hey Kathryn 

your husband and mum are lucky in that you care for them, and I know how hard that can be.

My mum was 91 when she died, and she desparately wanted to die in her own bed at home. She had carers which came three times a day. She was deaf, partially sighted and diabetic. She was in and out of hospital and each time, they would only let her come home if someone was there 24/7. That person was me.

luckily my husband was initially supportive and my kids were grown up, although two still lived at home. I lost count of the number of times the doctor and nurses said, she'll die today. She was on the Liverpool care pathway about 6 times which provided care and just water. She lived on water and was bedridden for six weeks. During that time, I stopped taking camprol and nipped to the shop several times when someone was sitting with her, and would come back with half a bottle of vodka.

my husband was getting fed up of me not being at home until I felt like piggy in the middle. We had a holiday booked which me and the kids wanted to cancel, but OH was adamant he needed a break. After two days we kept getting phone calls to come back, which we did and I went back to my vodka. I would have a couple of drinks during the day, but when the overnight Macmillan nurse came I could switch off with my vodka.

sorry for rambling on, but your post sounded so familiar (without the extra burden of a sick husband) and bought back memories of four years ago.

20

I meant to add that you have nothing to feel sad and worthless about, in fact the opposite. I can fully understand you feeling afraid and sad, but YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT WORTHLESS!! You are doing the best you can during a very difficult, stressful and emotional time. You should feel proud of yourself, and try and have a little 'me' time, although I realise that may not be possible. Take care and be proud and certainly not worthless.