I've been feeling like this for a while now,I do have my good moments but they don't last long...then boom I'm back to feeling like crap again,I've gone from being a people person to being a total recluse..I get moments of extreme sadness followed by an uncontrollable flow of tears then other times I can barely look at myself because I'm so ashamed of who I am then I get hateful and mad but it is all directed at me..I knock myself all of the time and I've done a pretty good job of convincing myself that I'm basically a worthless piece of sh*t, I do a pretty good job of hiding the way I feel to friends and family but I'm sure they've picked up on my short temper..I never used to be like this! I want to make a career for myself but the fear of being a failure puts a stop to it,I'm scared that I'm not the best mother,partner,daughter or friend...I just don't know what to think or do anymore.
Just read your blog and you have described me to a tee.
Are you on any prescribed medication? This sounds like depression. If not it would be worth a visit to the GP. Have you had any talking therapies? They may help you to understand. Your GP can refer you.
i have been like that on and off for a long time, I am now under psychiatrist and awaiting counselling.
hope this will help
Hello Sarah, I feel similar to you. You have low self esteem, and feelings of unworthiness. I maybe wrong but was you critized as child growing up or maybe later in life.This happened to me and being abused as impacted on my whole life. CBT or counselling would be worth a try. I have had counselling which is confidential and non judgemental, and group theraphy in the past. These feelings you have have come from somewhere and you need to explore where from so that you can deal with them. Hope this helps.
Best wishes.
Elizabeth.
Sarah,
Get some help NOW! See your GP as this could be a clinical condition, in that it isn't just being moody, your hormones or health in some way is making you wobbly all the time. You are not alone, remember that. Find some self-help groups in the area, ring the Samaritans and try gently exercise, like yoga. I know all this may seem like too much effort, but please try.
Hi Sarah, you don't say how old you are and how long this has been going on or whether you have seen a doctor. There are several forms of depression and 1 in 3 suffer from some form during their lfetime. You have a partner and a child so you owe it to them as well as yourself to do something about your problem. Be brave and seek your doctor's help a.s.a.p. Take care. Gwen
Sarah you show the classic signs of depression. I have felt exactly like you do. Our self esteem is zero and we don't like ourselves. We feel we are useless and a burden to others. You cannot help having this illness.
You must see depression for what it is, and realise you are not worthless, you are ill. I hope you have seen a doctor about this.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, sorry I didn't disclose certain details..I'm 31yrs old and I've had these feelings on and off for a few years now..there have been a few events in my life that seem to have made things a lot worse..stress in my relationship,stress over the children and there school life,family members being poorly,illness and an operation 2 years ago and not to mention the daily worry about my image and weight...everything just seems to mount up on me and I feel alone but I know I'm not..I've been on anti depressants before but they weren't right for me they just made me feel emotionless..I'm a constant worrier.im my own worst enemy to be honest.
Maybe you can discuss with your GP counselling or CBT, particularly if you do not want to go on medication, all though there are lots of different medications on the market and what suites one may not suite another it is trial and error, but sometimes worth it I must admit I have been on antidepressants for years (fluoxetine) but since I have been on Venlafaxine after about 8 weeks I have felt so much better than I have for a long time. Give it some thought, but you need to see your GP what ever you decide to do.
I'm in the process of changing doctors so I will try and make an appointment and have a chat with them..fluoxetine is what I was prescribed but it really didn't suit me so I stopped taking it and tried to muddle on through by myself,I had a period of feeling fine but when I became poorly and had to have an operation and basically everything went down bank from there on..I don't have suicidal thoughts thankfully,but I do feel complete lack of control of my emotions...thank you so much for your advise X
Oh Sarah I am so sorry things in your life have not been good. I too found Fluoxetine did not suit me at all. Not easy to try and get on with life when we are depressed. I do hope the doctor is able to help. There can be ups and downs, as you say. Sounds like you really do want to get out of this depression, and are aware that you need to see a doctor.
Let us know how you get on.
Take care,
Anne