I started having this severe clinical depression 4years ago. I was looking for a job and at one point spent 9 weeks in bed. I have messed up my life and also been dealt very awful cards. I had a deadbeat husband who never would work. So, my kida grew up with me, and my Mom. My mom is now 90, total dementia. I have no money, savings, I use to go to AA, but dony now, cause I am so tired with this horrible job. Insomnia, Grief, Sadness.. Friends have drifted away, no support anymore. And I am old. Meds I have tried so so many. With my life situation, I dont see any light, Too much hardship and struggle. Always alone. Younger son is 18, will leave in a couple ,months. I have stayed alive because I thought I should, But why? Nothing ever gets better, and every day is another horrible stressful struggle with demented mother, raging alchoholic father, also 90. what is the point> I need a miracle...
I hear your frustration it must be so difficult being responsible for two ageing parents. I can’t imagine the stress.
Can you try and find something in your life that is just for you something that you enjoy ?
I am 61 and often feel old, but then think I could live another 30 years so better not give into old age yet.
I too hate my job, well my boss who is making my job horrible.
I am married but because I stayed with him through sbusive years our children have cut off all contact so I am heart broken every day.
I wish I could say something that would be helpful just know you are not alone.
Thank yo so much for responding. Yes, I want want to get nm mental stability back. I
have found with the ongoing stress of the demented parents, the low paying super stressful job that I am so tired after such long and awful days, I dont want to do anythingI but crawl into bed and either sob or just feel trapped and grief stricken. I am so sorry your children don't speak to you. Why can't you have your own relationship
with them?
I have been a single Mom since my younger son was 9 weeks old. He is now 18, and says he has to get away from me because I am too depressed. Its comforting that I am not the only person in crisis. I live in a community where everyone is married, and have money. I need to move
I know about completel exhaustion but also know if I go for a walk or just get out I feel better.
My kids blame me for not leaving their dad. It is very complicated and so sad.
Maybe the people in your community are not as happy as they appear. I live in a very small community with no opportunity so I am trying to convince my husband to move to a larger centre. I thought I had found the perfect place for us but the deal fell through yesterday. I don’t know why I try sometimes seems like I get my hopes up then am disappointed.
What country do you live in?
I live about an hour from NYC, where are you?
I live in western Canada.