I'm 16 and I'm so unhappy, I have ocd, depression and anxiety, I feel that life is way too long and I am sick to death of feeling suicidal, I told myself that if my depression doesn't go in half a year im going to kill myself, I don't see the point anymore, my life is just going downhill anyway, no ones helping me, even though they try, I know that I'll be happier on the other side, I can't wait till im old so I'll die soon, what did I do to deserve to feel this way? And I know that depression can be genetic, so I freak out about being older and having kids and my kids feeling the way I do now. My mum is my bestfriend, she thinks that I don't want to die anymore, she doesn't worry about me anymore but I'm so close to committing suicide but I just can't be bothered, I really can't explain how I feel, I feel dead inside, I wish I was dead but I don't know how to kill myself, I've been to hospital many times for taking overdoses and I've tried strangling, drowning and cutting myself, but nothing works?! Or maybe im just not trying hard enough:'(
My brother took his own life 7 years ago and I still can't cope or take in it its there every single day 'why' it's ripped my family apart I no longer speak to my other brother as my mother and I was not told that he tried to kill himself 2 times before he did it my brother said 'what's it got to do with you mother ' ?
It broke my marriage up trying to cope with it my ex wife had enough and she kick me out I lost my house too.
I know how you feel I do sometimes feel what's the point anymore ? But hurting other people stopped me every time I live with chronic pain which gets me down I have enough painkillers to do it but I never will.
Anasatasia please get some help your to young to die depression,anxiety and ocd are hard i know ive been there the suicidal thoughts are the worst bit about it ! I would beg you to please go to your doctor make the first step theyre there to help you have you.tried the samaritans they will not judge you and can point you in the right direction ! You would leave behind friends and family who would always wonder why ! I was told to look at those around me especially my partner amd think they.would feel ! As ive said before please get help. Please let me know.how you are take care !
Anastasia ....it is one thing to appeal to strangers who will love you for who you are and it is another to be who you are and be something that for once in your life you must be.......there will be a pint where you decide what it is you want and then it is your chance to live it.....but for yourself.........no one can help you break out of the prison you live in but you......but there is a life for you here with us....with our world....you just have to find it....sorry I can't give you anything more concrete 
x
If your attempts have not worked its not meant to be I know it's hard as I am struggling while writing this but it's gonna be ok just seek help please
I'm so sorry to hear is, it makes me think about what I would put my family through, and I don't want to hurt them, I'd rather be here and be unhappy and them be happy, I just don't see a light at the tunnel, my mum is such an amazing women, she's so supportive, I go to Cahms but I hate waiting for appointments, but other people need to be seen so i understand why I have to wait so long, I used to take Prozac but it just made things worse, I just want a new medication and therapy, I just want my old life back, but people change and things happen, but if I was happy then I'm sure I can be happy in the future, everything's just so hard right now, it has been for a while, I just want happiness and happy thoughts. Thankyou everyone, it's nice to know that even strangers care! I have a few positive things, I go to college and I am happy there, I study beauty therapy and want to be a makeup artist when I'm older, I have a loving family and great friends! It's just my thoughts that is the problem! I'm just going to stick it through like everyday x
We found out he was taking prozac from the police when they called it was such a mess I was numb I thought it was all a dream and I would wake up from it.
I'm glad you have talked on here said what you want to do with your life if I can help one person I feel so much better with myself I'm been down before maybe all my life as depression is in the family my mother has it and I watched her suffering as a young child.
Your young your whole life is in front of you I say to myself it won't beat me I won't let it
It not easy nothing is in this world we are all here for a short time.
It's coming up to Christmas and I really don't like it any more my father died 13 years ago I also watched him suffering in the hospital then he died at home.
Stay strong x
I am deeply sorry, mental health and body illnesses are really evil, I'm lucky, I still have my mum and dad, and sisters and brother, I never want to leave them all behind because they'd be crushed, my mum, my sister and my brother all suffer from mental illnesses, but because there much older they know how to control it and deal with it, but I dont
Thankyou x
Hi Anastasia,
I am sorry to hear about your challenges with OCD, Depression and anxiety. Just for one moment think about these things as separate things to work and overcome or control. The trick is to try to take small stable steps and at 16 you have so much more to give.
Your at 16 shouldn't be worrying about having children, and looking at what it is you want to do that makes you happy. when we are severely depressed this is hard as i an many of the people on here know how it feels, and we also know that you can as Dave Gorman says try to make like "a little more goodish", perhaps not perfect but then perfection has its own problems.
At 16 you need to confide in your boyfriend or some one that you really trust. rememeber as well when you feel low there are other on here you can talk to , there is your GP, there is even A & E if need be. I feel so osrry for you as you are obviously worried about your Mum and her feeling about, how you feeling.
Depression for me has meant I got divorced, I miss my kids, I lost my job ( i am now self employed ) as well as having a disability. I treat all four issue in what I call 4 boxes, and I literally have boxes or files that just deal with that issue, no 2 issue cross paths, one at a time always.
Try syphoning your challenges off and only dealing with them separately rather than trying to sort everything on one go , which will mean more stress which in turn will make all your challenges harder.
Thankyou Jimmy, I'm sorry to hear about your family I don't have a boyfriend but I have an ex boyfriend who I am good friends with and he helps me out a lot, things have just got too much to deal with but I just get on with it because I know that this feeling will not last forever, and the way I feel will not get any worse, I can only get better from now on x
Your ex boyfriend is a perfect person maybe as he knows things about you. You may feel you have lots on but with some organisation and dealing with things one at a time it does get better.
I do know sometime thou it can be hard and this week been one of those weeks where I have had 4 different challenges to deall with and I have felt at times like I'm in melt down and while sorting one problem another seems to be getting worse.
Yeah, everyday is really hard, but I got some good news today, I'm student of the month at college which made me very happy and I got my braces off so today's been a great day:-)
There you go well done you that's some great news hope you feel really proud of yourself
Really happy for you
Hi Anastasia,
At 16 and wanting to end your life, are you on any medication at all, for your current thoughts?
Believe me, living your life to the full is something I can only wish for, many times I have felt the same way, but not for the reasons you mention. When I was in my early 20's I had an accident that changed my whole life, I ended up with a very rare nerve disorder - it took 2 years US Professors to eventually diagnose me.
I am now 50, married with 3 children - and they are excellent and I have always said I am proud of my family. My life every day is the same, 45-60 mins just to get out of bed and dressed. The pain I go through everyday is unreal, bending my spine at all really kills, I'm on over 140+ tablets a week, and 5 injections at the hospital every 10 weeks.
I fall asleep during the day, and have to be woken to take my medication.
Falling asleep at anytime is dangerous has I can choke.
I'm in a wheelchair for life.
I am on anti-depressents, but more for pain rather than anti-depressents.
I have had testical cancer, and still in remission until next March, currently I am being tested for prostate cancer at the moment.
I have had 2 operations that nearly killed me, I was dying from the inside out, over 50cm of my intestine removed because it had gone gangrene.
Now, I have had many times thought of suicide, but then I think back to when my family were all around me in hospital - I know it wouldn't be right at all, even though I suffer everyday, and expect to get worse - I plan to live my life to the full as I can.
Anastasia, think about what you really want in life - my life literally hangs by a thread, not knowing when or what is going to happen next. I lost my mother and father in the past decade, and only have one brother left, and he lives miles away from me. Life is very precious to everyone, believe me - I've been so close to death on 3 occassions and even my daughter was only 8 years old at the time, she thought I was going to die, and I seen what effects I had on her, believe me, what you need to think about is how your family and friends will miss you, and it's an horrible thought.
I hope that helps you, a little... if you want to chat let me know. I am always around, I have nothing I can really do apart from chat on here.
Regards,
Les.
See there are good things in life. You must be really great to have acheived the accolade. I bet with braces off too you feel so much happier. Look out world her comes Anastasia.
xxx
Les,
Thats is such a great and balancing response. And Anasatasia there are some real inspiring things you can pick up from this.
Jimmy
I'm so sorry, when I hear what has happened to people I feel selfish, because nothings wrong with my body just my mind, I was on fluoxetine but didn't help me one bit, actually made me much worse, I haven't attempted suicide in ages which is a good thing, I just can't be bothered to even try, I haven't self harmed in about a month. Every single day I think about killing myself, how I will do it and when, then I remember my mum and dad, I can't leave them behind, I feel pathetic, useless, I'm not happy, I haven't been for ages, I just want to leave this world and never come back, but that's not an option because I don't want to put my mum through what I am going through, I just want medication and therapy but they won't give me the meds because of my age, it's so stupid! I clearly need it, will it get better? Or will it stay the same? I just don't know anymore, Thankyou all for helping me, really means a lot and I appreciate it! Xx
Your not selfish we all just need to learn from all our expereinces. Its great you havent tried to harm yourself too all positives.
The problem with the meds is for most people in the first 2 weeks they can make you worse, and the risk of this increase the younger you are. there is no reason thou why you can't have counselling and talk to someone. I did mindfulness class which is relaxation and concentrating on whats is happening now, and not worry about future or past. The past has gone, the future is always changing
I would suggest homethpatic remedies but I pretty sure you may be limited on them too.
You need to look at your symptoms too and see which one you can fix
all these things will make you depression worse:
1. Lack of Sleep
2. Loneliness
3. Guilt
4. Reminiscing of the past
5. Pain
6. Bullying and Abuse
7. Stress
this is far from an exhaustive list but food for thought, if you suffer from any of the above just trying to focus on sorting one of them will make things better
I guess so, but I know that I would never try and commit suicide again, I just want a medication that is for me and I'm stressed and in pain, I have guilt and I'm lonely, Thankyou x
Organise the list stress, pain, guilt and loneliness. then choose the which you want to try to fix first. Don't try to fix all 4 at once. remember jennifee72369 advice to seek help