I keep telling myself I'll never be happy no matter what

Mental health
1

Hello,

For a year now, I have been in a state which I still cannot identify nor comprehend, I'm in a mix of frustration, sadness and anger, I also imagine terrible senarios (some kind of Harm OCD), I keep obesessing about people I hold grudges on and associate them with everything around me (for example: someone I hold a grudge on loves litterature, everytime I see or read a book I get reminded of him/her which in turn prevents me from reading anything, a hobby that is important to me, it's absolute nonsense and I know it yet it cannot escape my mind).

I have been planning to study abroad in Europe because for a while I've been extremely disatisfied with my current life in terms of society and living conditions, and I was so sure that I'll be happy abroad and all that I mentioned above will fade away until someone told me that I shouldn't be so sure that I'll be finding happiness there and so I started telling myself that I will never be happy no matter where I go or what I do which is tormenting me to no end.

I know what I posted might be a bit confusing but there is so much stuff that are bothering me, can all this be put under one problem ? (Depression, anxiety...)

Any help is appreciated, thank you !

2

I think you should definitely see a therapist who will be able to identify your problem.

3

Hey Anna, what is your opinion on this ? Going to a therapist has always been on mind but I really want to know what people think.

4

What you said about "harm OCD" shows you do have a serious problem. Its so difficult to shut out these invasive thoughts even if one wants to. You should get help with this.

Secondly studying abroad may be a good idea in the current scenario. A change of scene and new environment may help a lot. But again expectations should not be too high.

I strongly feel that we should all give ourselves a fighting chance at some sort of happiness or at least inner peace. If we persevere i am sure we can get there.

5

Thank you, Anna, for sharing your opinion. I shall keep everything you said in mind.