I'm fairly certain my friends have anxiety or depression, and I don't know if or how I should help.

Mental health
1

So, no, this is not really about me. Although I will admit that I may have moderate depression and/or anxiety, I believe I am coping well enough, and though I often feel I wouldn't mind dying, I have no intention of self harm in any capacity. What I'm concerned about is really my friends. 

For a bit of background info, I'm a 17 year old senior in high school. A relatively rigorous high school at that. All of the people in my friend group have a pretty dark sense of humor. We all make self deprecative, morbid jokes about suicide and depression. It kinda sounds insensitive, but I think laughing helped all of us cope with the small realities behind every joke. I thought this was fine. I thought it was normal. 

Recently, however, I had a chance to meet a number of people during a college tour in another town. I met happy people. Genuinely happy people with motivation and ambition and smiles so real they made mine feel like a cardboard cutout. At least it seemed that way. Regardless, I couldn't help but think "Wow, we have some serious issues." 

The problem is that I don't know how exactly to approach this. We tend to help each other just by being a group we can all go to to get away from the worries and just, like, chill. In the rare case of someone having an open breakdown, I don't even know how to comfort them. The words "It'll be fine" taste like lies in my mouth, and I'm sure would sound like them too. So at best, I ask them if they wanna talk about it, but they never do. Then, afterwards, if anyone asks, it was "just a bad day." I want to help, but I'm afraid that if I confront any of them, they'll think our group isn't that safe, worry-free place anymore. For some of them, it may be the only place they feel relaxed. I can't risk isolating them and making things worse. I don't personally feel like any of them are in danger, but I want that real happiness for them. Cheesy as hell, I know, but, yeah, I want my friends to be happy. Advice on how to do this would be appreciated.

Funny. I would never say these kinds of things in person. Hooray for the mask of internet anonymity. 

2

Oh jaeda you write with  such eloquence and depth. It has touched me greatly. When I was 16 years of age I went through the most difficult time of my life... I was so deeply depressed ... I lost my appetite began to starve myself and was filled with fear...I couldn’t get to sleep until 4:30 am every morning  for months.. I was so lonely and didn’t have any friends. I really wanted to die...This is something you might be able to share with your friends... When you’re a teenager and are going through hard times you think you’re going to feel this way for the rest of your life...As teenagers live so much in the moment that we think “Is this my life and existence from now on?”  So much pain anxiety and depression that you feel...I guess this is life...I became hopeless...Hope is a very important feeling you can carry in your spirit and it helps you in the deepest of pain to carry on believing “This too shall pass” Somehow, someway if you can convey to your friends...These feelings of depression can be temporary and it can and will pass it isn’t going to be this way  the  rest of your life...HOPE you just have to cling on to this hope that these feelings may only be temporary and doesn’t define the rest of your life!

What happened to me as a 16 year old depressed, lonely, depressed teenager? My parents paid for me to go to three different camps during the summer and somehow, someway God touched my spirit I felt Him say to me deep down in my soul  “your senior year you are going to have the best year of your life”... To consolidate this  whole message I’m writing to you... At 17 years of age I began to eat again and took my frail body from 95 pounds and put on 15 more... I found a group of friends I could belong to and for the first time in my life I had a best friend, Diane, I began to feel a joy I had never felt before in my life... life became an adventure... I was then nominated Wilson High Schools Rose Festival Princess..one of the most cherished accomplishments in every high school girls dreams...I Then graduated from college as an 3.8 honor student and speaker at our graduating commencement service...

Could I have ever imagined this happening to me as a 16 year old hopeless , lonely, depressed, fearful individual? I think not... Life is ever evolving, changing and what you’re going through at the present time...

“This too shall pass” Hope....never lose Hope , it will sustain you the rest of your life ...Thank you Jaeda, The words  you wrote touched me greatly!

God be with us through this journey of life🌟🌟🌟