This is my first time here.. I'm only 18 and feel stuck. I haven't left my apartment in awhile because I have bad social anxiety and right now, I need someone to talk to.. I've been admitted into 2 institutions for depression a long time ago but they never worked on my anxiety which caused my depression to come back.. I feel like not a good mother, daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend. I'd talk to my partner but I feel like she's obligated to say certain things since we are together. I don't believe her when she says I'm worth more than I think.
I gave my daughter to my mother when she was little because of my depression and I didn't make enough money to support her.. I have absolutely no friends except for 1 or 2. My mom doesn't say she loves me anymore and we've always had a hard relationship. Same with all my family. They think I'm bi polar like my dad but I was never diagnosed. I'm just feeling completely low and like I ruined my entire life. I don't know what I'm seeking for doing this... I guess I'm wasting my time.
You need to get some professional therapy and maybe medication! You are worth much more than you believe you are! Think of that little girl and please get some help! Depression sucks I know I have suffered through four times!
You have a lot of what people wish they had. A partner, a couple of friends , a daughter you can connect with and a mother willing to raise your daughter and you are only eighteen. Do you have a job to keep you busy and out of the apartment. Is it a job where you interact with people. You have a blessed life and much to look forward to
Your not wasting you time, this is very normal and you are not alone I have always felt like this, and most people do, it's just no one talks about it.
Winston Churchhill said, when you are going through hell, KEEP GOING X
We always need to get encouragement and love from those around us parents saying they love you can be one of those things we accept even when we become adults. Parents generally feel these feelings of love do not need to be rienforced as we get older sad to say. If you are uncertain in life these feelings make us feel to needful and clingy.
Are you now working or are you still having treatment
BOB
Good on you for reaching out jessica16898.
I think over time as you keep trying to change things in your life - because that's all you can do really - the feelings within yourself should change, too. Try not to think you've ruined your life either, please, and that you're not good. You've just gotten off to a bumpy start, that's all, due to social anxiety and depression - that's not your fault - and even though it's very tough for you at present, you're still in a good position to make the coming years more satisfactory on account of still being quite young.
Keep reaching out and keep addressing your situations. Your partner is being loving by saying supportive things - just know that - but I understand what you're saying.
Keep the love in your heart and it'll be okay, you'll see. All the best.