I need help, I don’t know what to do
20/Male
This started a week ago on Thursday. I was in the library running on 5.5 hours of sleep and coffee when my left hand started twitching. It felt stiffer than my right, and I panicked—convinced it was ALS. Stupidly, I tried lifting 20lbs with just my index finger and thumb. My left hand fatigued faster than my right, which scared me more.
By Friday, I’d caught some kind of cold at work (I don’t normally nap, but I crashed for 1-2 hours when I got home). That night I stayed on my laptop until 4:30am, then couldn’t fall asleep until 6am. It was hot, my good fan had been replaced with a crappy one—but instead of blaming that, my brain jumped to sCJD or sporadic fatal insomnia (SFI). That’s been my new fear ever since, no longer ALS.
Since then, I’ve been obsessively self-testing every single day: tandem walking, finger-to-nose, heel-to-shin, rapid alternating hand movements, cognitive tests on Memtrax. I pass everything. Reaction time averaging 170-180ms, memory tests at 100% accuracy. But I can’t stop.
My sleep has been all over the place—anywhere from 4.5 to 7 hours. Some nights I fall asleep in 10-20 minutes, other nights it takes an hour (usually when I’m spiraling). Falling asleep since after Saturday and Sunday isn’t typically the issue; staying asleep is. I keep waking up mid-dream, and today with a buzzing/static sensation in my body (I think that’s just REM atonia?).
I’ve also had these random pins and needles since Monday or Tuesday—appearing randomly in my hands, feet, legs, calves, either side. Feels like one or two hot needles. No idea what that’s about.
The cold? Viral infection? Or something is still lingering too. Yellow phlegm, clogged nose, having to clear my throat before speaking. My sleep heart rate has been slightly elevated, which I’m wondering might just be my body fighting an infection or worse.
Where I’m at now (Friday):
Last night was my one of worst sleep yet besides the one on Saturday—only 4 hours 40 minutes. I took 200mg magnesium glycinate at 11:45pm, went to bed at 12:20, fell asleep by 12:29. But I woke up at 2:03am mid-dream with this buzzing sensation on my body? I think it’s Rem Atonia?Weirdly, my hand was in my underwear? Nothing in the dream was related to that—wondering if that’s parasomnia or just normal sleep movement.
I managed to fall back asleep after 39 minutes, slept another 3 hours, then woke at 5:49 with stomach pain and had to use the bathroom. Couldn’t fall back asleep after that. Called off work because I felt like garbage.
I would say though, Thursday was probably my most anxious and feeling hopeless day—I was self-testing constantly until my legs were tired from tandem walking. Even right before bed, I was doing heel-to-shin tests. Everything still checks out fine, but the anxiety is eating me alive.
I’m thinking about adding melatonin (haven’t taken it in about a year) alongside the magnesium. Maybe L-theanine too. I have no work tomorrow, so it seems like a good time to experiment.
I can’t keep living like this. I have school, work, responsibilities.
What’s happening to me? What can I do?
Right now it’s 8pm and I am dreading tonight