jennifer
Wowww, slow down kid!! Breath.......!
You sound like me, on a few occasions,way back when I was aged 41 and 46 when I was trying to cope with the loss of my mum & mum-in-law (within 6mths of each other) and my father-in-law. Terrible, terrible times.
You have my complete and utter sympathy as I 'Have been there. Done it. Don't want the T-shirt', and sometimes look back and wonder how I - or we, as me and my husband had to deal with so much of this on our own - got through it.
I can't give you a magic remedy to help you through this, but hope that you have someone close to you that you can talk to about all this, in your poor husband's absence. A sister, girlfriend maybe?
I honestly believe with the later loss, some of my Perimeno symptoms were hidden in my stress, worries and eventual grieving process. They were so similiar to having a breakdown, but I now look back at them and see them too as classic Perimeno symptoms.
Like a fool, I'm really hoping that this was the case, and that I'm sorta over the worse now at 54 (Peri can go on for years, so I've gleened from this forum
)
I recall after my father-in-law passed that I went to my GP demanding some help for my Peri symptoms, I was moaning on and on, and then I opened up about watching my father-in-law die after being in hospital 8mths, visiting daily, running a Business, caring for a family, then.........Massive meltdown: crying, sobbing. She was great, and very quietly explained that what I was actually experiencing was grief: I was bereft at the loss of my loved one, and that it was perfectly normal, and that I should cry and shout, and get this off my chest as part of my grieving process.
Just talking to her, a complete stranger really, made me fee a million times better, because for those 8mths prior, it was just me and my husband trying to support each other through all this emotional stress.
I won't say that it has been easy, but probably easier for me than my husband, as his father's only child. But we have always loved and supported each other through some truly sh*tty times, and come out together, still loving each other.
Regardless of chatting to someone who knows you, I think a trip to your Doc might be a good move for you, even just to talk out your worries. You never know, they might even start the ball rolling with some blood tests to check all's well with you generally. But I think its probably a good thing to talk to someone.
Chin Up Kid. Go give your kids a big hug and kiss and tell them you love them: you'll be amazed at how good it feels when they do that back to you
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Sx