Usually I'm a pretty happy person when I'm okay but lately a lot of things have been getting into my head. I know I'm not the only one but there have been major events in my life which have scarred me which randomly gets into my head. My boyfriend also has friends that I despise due to a certain situation and the thought of them or hearing them boils my blood and makes me so angry.
Another thing which is slightly irrelevant, I can't control my self-harming when situations gets heated. I promised myself years ago I'd never do it again but in problematic circumstances I can't stop myself. It's uncontrollable. My life flashes before my eyes once I've hurt myself and I break down in disappointment.
I'm sorry this is a lot to read but I just need help.
Don't harm yourself. Get help from a therapist talk about it. Instead of harming yourself why don't you buy a punching bag every time you get upset hit the bag. Don't let your past hurt you. Focus on your present for the Future we don't know if we will be here. I harm myself too. I get sad and I start choking myself with a cord I know I have issues. My face gets so red and my face throbs in pain. I see blurry at the time I do it. But it's just the sadness that makes me do impulsive things. I have scars in my legs because I attempted Suicide back in 2010 and again last year in October. Well within the time I would hurt myself too. I remember making the cuts in both legs and with a broken mirror carving my teeth I was in a bad place at the time I would normally not do something like that. You need help. You shouldn't hurt yourself. What happens if you go to far?? Don't make a mistake. Find other ways to cope like punching the punching bag or get into Karate classes, dance ect. Relieve that anger in a healthy way. Control it don't let it control you.