Can someone please help me. I am at my wits end! I have now asked my friend repeatedly not to call or message me between 10pm and 10am, other than to a facebook chat I created for late night messages for things she wants to say, but aren't urgent and I can read in the morning. Last time I asked her was last week, she has broken this every day since, other than yesterday. I don't know what to do, I have to keep my phone on "Do Not Disturb", I keep missing other messages because of it, when other people can only talk at that time, and I need my family to be able to contact me as my mother and father aren't doing so well. I have asked now around 6 times, surely I shouldn't have to amend every single contacts settings in my phone so they can get through the "Do Not Disturb" setting. Surely asking her is enough and I have told her how important it is to me. It seems to be some kind of power thing with her, I want it so she'll do the opposite. I really want to stay friends with her, but it's just late at night... if I wake up I am fully awake and stay that way for 4 hours, it's having a huge impact on my life. I don't know what to do. Any help will be so gratefully received. If you think I'm being unreasonable please feel free to say this too. I've had a nervous breakdown before and I can't deal with stress.. I'm so worried about getting so ill again and going to hospital (my body physically gives up when I'm stressed and my organs shut down) Please, it's nearly every day now, knowing how many hours I've put into listening to her and she can't do this one thing for me. I want to be able to live my life and talk to other people. Please.
anyone please?
Really? there isn’t a single person that cares? I’ve carried her through the whole of lockdown, hours and hours per day, all I ask is 12 hours off and you all think I’m a terrible person. If you do say that… I need some feedback.. even if it’s negative. I feel awful but have had 5 out of the last 6 ruined and need my life back. I struggle so much with my mental health and my therapy was ruined by lockdown after I’d been doing to well and now this… please someone I don’t know what to do.
sounds like shes not a great friend.
sounds very patronising of her.
you need to tell her enough is enough. explain to her what your going through. what is she messaging you about in the first place? is it that important that it cant wait before 10am?
Thank you for replying. I set up a facebook messenger group for messages late at night, so if it’s not urgent she can still message. It’s generally about her boyfriend, or stuff she’s watching when she’s going to sleep (you would think that would be a trigger to consider “is your friend asleep”, but no. I’ve told her I’m blocking her for a week. I don’t want to but don’t know what else to do. I’ve asked nicely at least 4 times and angrily once, since things don’t seem to go in unless I’m angry. She picked on me the next day for that too. I don’t want to cut her out of my life as we’ve been friends for years, since we were toddlers, we’re now around 30 years later… I don’t know how to deal with this, it feels like manipulating her if I’m not anything other than straight forward with her, which is how I am, but I’ve tried that over and over now. I’m at a loss and it’s ruining my quality of life, I want to get a new covid routine down, walking in the morning and eating breakfast. Sometimes I’ll be stuck on the phone all day and not get to eat, she eats, if I do anything other than sit quietly I get yelled at. I really don’t know what to do.
man up and get rid of her. shes selfish
way too selfish. you dont need to accept that. shes not a friend treating you like that.
the first step you have told her and she did not understand. so shes obviously being a bad friend. best thing to do in my advice
I just wish that wasn’t the only solution 
xxxx
I’m curious to know the age of your friend as it sounds like it’s a maturity thing. How about sharing this post with her? If she sees that you are reaching out for help to mitigate the situation, maybe it’ll sink in that there’s a real problem here. Also, you may want to invest in some self-care, sounds like you’re dealing with alot and the inevitable is impact to your psyche. If you’re a teen or young adult, now is a good time to start practicing this by way of meditation or something that helps you relax and take life’s challenges in stride.
why not just block her number during those times. this way if there anyone needing to reach out to you for emergency you wont miss there calls by putting your phone on do not disturb