I just love the support here, but i sit and read all this and i wanna cry my eyes out. I know we are all different but i can have what i feel are my own peri experiences and then read someone else’s and start feeling theirs too? Is it power of suggestion? im so upset tonight i cant hardly believe ill ever be ok again. I read one persons nightmare and feel so scared ill do same or am doing same and afraid its gonna get worse in meno? im like two mo away from my 12 mo. (second time) i think i do better than some i read are feeling really sick and desperate but then i wonder if im in denial that what i feel might be considered bad to another and im not getting help i need because im trying to be tough and not take hormones. my work suffers because i cannot get up in am. i feel like ive just come out feom under anesthesia! lol i have to set up first then set side of bed then get up slowly and sometimes im like . “ heck no” and lay back down. im running on zero and then i get upset i have to work like this, my leave is gone and i have no choice. it’s backed me in a corner and i feel threatened. getting sad makes me more lethargic to boot. im 49 and single w no 2nd income. im sorry for whining. i have 31 yrs in gov and i just wanna retire and get myself together again physically and emotionally sooo bad.
Hello I m sorry that you are feeling this way. I know how you feel, I read other people's post sometimes and think am I going to go through that?! Then I think I have been through a pretty rough time and we are not going backwards in this. I do feel better and I promise that you will feel better too! I do have my rough days but not like I used to have. Just be kind to yourself and cry, nap, eat, yell, pray, walk, read, post and anything else that you need to do. It is hormones, you are hormonal normal and you will get better. We all will! Take care and I will be praying for you 
Is it just that your tired?
I’m sure you’ll know if you have symptoms and just the fact you get out of bed and get back into bed is a big sign . This happened to me and was not getting out of bed until 1.30pm. I could not wake up !
It’s a big relief to be on this site as the women are so supportive and you learn a lot !
I’ve learnt more on this forum than any bloody dr !!!
And yes some women get it worse than others and I have it REALLY bad but trying to believe if you get things really bad you’ll also get things that are really good too!
Hello, I know, it can get very depressing. I was in a similar position to you at the end of last year. I had no outside help with anything, was made redundant twice in the space of 6 months and even worked 7 days a week for a year, which towards the end was beginning to drive me over the edge.
I've had a great number of the symptoms for several years and I appreciate it's no joke. However I try to discuss it as much as possible, which enables me to vent about this very frustrating time.
I removed some of the worst stressors from my life (including a retail job, and damaging emotions going all the way back to childhood), had some really good counselling and support, and the cloud of depression has recently started to lift. I think the way to get the best from this site is to use it to recognise some of the symptoms as they arise, and also, for advice.
Remember that no one size fits all, although a great many symptoms are wielded on womanhood in general with a broad brush. Try not to "take on" some of the problems which are illustrated here, but instead focus on how you can use the information to make your life better.
It also sounds like you need to start planning to change your life in some way, and though this can be a difficult and lengthy process, I would encourage you to start thinking about it sooner than later. Visualize the things you like or would like to do, and then focus on manifesting them in your life. They don't have to be expensive.
I used to be very creative, but gave up for 3 1/2 years due to depression, and felt completely lost. Recently I picked up my crayons and felt tip pens again, and bought myself an inexpensive drawing tablet for my laptop, which can be used with free downloadable drawing software for all kinds of things. I'm happy as Larry. I also go for walks and take photos of the beautiful nature.
Focusing on this side of life doesn't make everything feel quite so deadly.
Remember that things change, so it won't be like this forever. What genuinely good people do you know in your life? Cultivate relationships with people such as these, who can understand and help you through this.
Hi shawnalb
I know what you mean. It depends on how you are feeling when you read posts, whether they have a detrimental impact or not. Travel your own journey love, and just use this as a point of referee. If you're being sucked into the experience of others, just acknowledge it and make a decision not to engage. Its really hard when you are looking for answers yourself, but you have to put yourself first. We are all different, and my experience is different to most ladies so I see it for what it is.... A really useful community of support, but I don't spend time when I'm vulnerable reading posts as it makes me worse. Please don't worry, not everyone gets the same symptoms, not all of us have the same make up, we all have different backgrounds and family life - we are unique. Chin up love xx
Mary.. Lovely and encouraging advice we all can take from. Thx. CK
Hi shawnalb.
Can you not take some sick leave to try and give you some time to yourself to see if it helps, My job was making everything much worse as my employer is totally awful and lacking in understanding and compassion so I had no choice even though I cannot afford to but I needed to see how I was away from my awful job and in my case whether my job was making the dark cloud over me worse. I'm on hrt this is my 3rd week but not sure if its doing anything, felt great yest normal then today feel low so not sure. I hope you find some relief soon.
We have some things in common. I’m 47 and work full time with no second income. I’ve also read some of the posts here before and dreaded that those symptoms could happen for me. I have appreciated a great amount of support here. However, I find at times that this forum feeds my tendency to overanalyze what is happening to me and sometimes to try to take care of things myself that need a doctor’s expertise. I have also tended to write a lot here when lonely and really wished I had the company of friends or family in person. Lately, I am posting less and reaching out more to people within my immediate environment. Everyone’s situation is different, but I think that writing online is just keeping me in my shell and contributing to feeling more isolated. Whatever you need to feel better, I do hope you find it soon.
Well on the contrary if I would have known when I was 41 about this forum I would not have had to suffer for 10 years!
I crashed at 41 and became extremely mentally ill .... could not leave the house ... be alone . I thought it was PTSD due to a bad accident but now I’m seeing it was probably Peri . So I’m thankful for this forum as I’m just learning now at 52 that all my anxiety panic agoraphobia was due to hormones .
All the therapists and shrinks I went to never brought it up just wanted to give me pills . It’s only when I got on this forum a few weeks ago that I realized what was going on all those years .
ty becky- i am just fed up and i think reading all the sad posts have become scarey rather than comforting. It seems unless im interpreting it wrong that peri is ups and downs and meno is all down?!!
oh im definitely tired . i never feel rested. i believe i need to quit reading so much? At first it helped alot but then i started digging into other posts instead of sticking to my own questions!
Hi Lori- yes there is day after night, good after bad, sun after rain. Its a balance. Just feels alot one sided anymore. Starting to worry me. i can get a symptom or feeling from reading others comments and that is mot good. i cant possibly have everyone else’s same problems i tell myself. But then again we do or we wouldn’t be asking and getting conformation it’s hormones!
thank you Mary. That is exactly what i do. Take others problems on when hearing about them or reading it, especially on here. I ask, once i get in meno in few mo, should things taper or is it just getting worse?
Sassy- i know all you say is true! and thank you for reminding me) i do not wanna go down the depression rabbit hole again. When i get overwhelmed it is over. It can take weeks to recover. Its never one thing, its a build up of stuff. I feel family and friends are sick of hearing it. so it feels lonely and really there is nothing you can do but suffer it seems. I cannot keep doing this. i cant do hormones and dont want to. But history of depression is getting aggravated by this and making me bring up old patterns and thoughts. i need to focus on good because i have so much of it. !!
no no sick days left! i accumulate some each pp but ive had to use them. Im screwed coming and going. :-) No but really i just need to vent. i am tryin so hard maybe too hard and thinking too much?!
yes i over analyze because im afraid to miss anything i guess. i need to quit and let be what will be. It feels very unnatural to not worry! Like i have given up. I attribute worrying to caring and if i quit worrying then i am not caring anymore and that scares me
Hi Shawna,
The truth is - one can't predict how it will be for you. However, one of the most important lessons to take from this experience is: Do not beat yourself up.
Be very kind to yourself, and use this time as an opportunity to take things more slowly. There is no failing in doing so. Smell not only the coffee, but the roses. I have had to be almost coerced to slow down, since I have tendencies towards hyperactivity. However, by making time to rest, you will also free up space in your mind to ponder and explore.
Appreciate what you are going through, and take each day as it comes. <3
Hi Shawnlb
I know it's hard, but try to think of the symptoms and depression as part of a journey. It's not like last time, it is hormone related so it's not you and not about how well you're coping it's about just trying to take small steps each day until it passes..... And it will, I promise. I've suffered from anxiety for years and I know that it's so frightening to think you're going back, but you're not and you won't love. You're strong and you can do this. I've got primary ovarian failure and so I've been at this since I was 16. I'm 43, I work, have a family and so I know you can get through it. Things that help me are: exercise (anything that increases heart rate - cycling, jogging etc), yoga (even though I'm hopeless at it, I like the mat and the outfit 
, mindful meditation and as much fresh air as you can take. It really does help. Take it easy on yourself, try not to panic, you're going to be absolutely fine xx
i don’t even know why i asked that! i know nobody knows. im assuming its gonna suck so therefore it probably will. bad attitude i know . it’s shameful to feel like a 12 yr old in 49 yr old body. Scared over every new symptom or bump/bruise. annnd ya cant trust drs anymore. run around is all ya get w a bunch of different diagnoses. i wish there was a test for meno to know for sure your symptoms are only hormones. i wouldn’t worry as much