I think Ive found the solution for me

Mental health
1

So for awhile now Ive been realising that panic attacks arnt a sign of mental illness, agreeing to start pushing myself further with anxiety and getting a bit comfier with it.

First I found a great guy called dr sief online and read his stuff about intrusive thoughts, which helped me to understand that they don't mean you are crazy.

I also read some bits on planned practise which enphasizes the need to expose yourself to anxiety rather than a particular situation.

This got me so far.

I have been reading a book about metacognitive therapy which has really put the dots together for me.

It helped me realise a big question that was making me bitter for a long time which was how come other people have panic attacks and then get on with their life, yet others develop an anxiety disorder. The situations could be exactly the same. and the answer for me was that they don't worry about worry. They dont worry about WHY they panic, what ifs, ruminate or spend hours analyszing, preparing for situations, every outcome ect. And thats where the book has suggested I (having GAD, possibly mild PTSD from abusive relationship) am going wrong.

When i had a panic attack, I literally spent 3 years wondering what if i am mentally ill, why a i having these feelings, why arnt i normal, is this a sign of danger, every question possible. i then pre-empt worrying. I worry that I will worry so i dont attempt things ect. 

The book suggests that thoughts are just thoughts - as we know. But certain thoughts we assign an importance to, we pay attention to them. So me - I think, (type 1 worries) oh no the bin men are here - therefore there are people near the house i dont know - what I panic and they see me - what will they think - (type 2 worries) why does this happen to me - am i mental - how do i stop these thoughts . emotions - fear. If i actually allowed the thought and didnt react to it, thr type 1 worries wouldnt lead to type 2 worries. The sort of worries that people without an anxiety disorder don't have. 

As a plan, I have started labelling worries as type 1 and trying to allow them to just be. i hope I can develop this for anxiety situations too.

Another way of explaining it that helped me was to see the world through the eyes, not through anxiety thoughts.

It has helped me this weekend because I saw my partner and i felt the fear but i didnt 'rise to' or engage with anxious thoughts. They are just thoughts. 

 

2

Well done Sarah! You've obviously worked hard at this. Seeing the world through the eyes rather than through the anxiety thoughts explains why my anxiety goes when I am engaged in drawing or painting something and realy concentrating on looking at something. You might want to look at mindfulness as another way of doing this as you just focus on your breathing and allow all thoughts to pass by.

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Thankyou, yes I have and Im implementing this aswel. Think we're on the same page here smile Is it working for you? x 

4

well done sarah

Richard

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Yes. It is. Rather than running from the fear, we walk toward it and find out it is just mist! In Tibetan Buddhism this is called 'leaning into the point' where you are encouraged to just sit with fear, or anger, or sadness and even lean toward it a bit. The more you move toward fear, the more it isn't there.The buddhists say we live in constant illusions and unreality. Anxiety/fear has to be one of the biggest cons that the mind tries to pull on us poor humans!  You can't go round fear, or over fear, or under fear, you have to go through fear. It's the only way out. Make it transparent and move through it.We make it more 'solid' by our weighty efforts to try and 'fix' it. By putting in 'safety measures' into our lives (never going out without a pill, etc) we give it more solidity. We make it more real by worrying about it, thinking about it, trying to sort ourselves out, thinking there's something wrong with us, and catastrophising and drama-queening it a tiny tiny bit) We need to make it as transparent as possible which means giving it as little of your energy as possible. Pay it no attention and it goes away. The only thing that keeps it going is our attention. Anyway, i'm rambling on. It's nice to hear from someone who has found there own way through it. You should be very pleased and proud of yourself. What you have done is not easy. Big Hug xx

6

Thank you so much for that! That's the best explanation Ive heard. I am going to save it and print it out for days I feel daunted. I have been wondering about buddhism for a long time, understanding there are some similarities between mindfullness, facing fears ect! I will look at this more in depth now :D 

You have brightened up my day! xx 

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Thanks Richard, hope it continues!