I've been extremely irritable and tired the last few days

Mental health
1

Hello, so for the last year and a half, I've been going through a tough time. I've had my ups and downs, but the last few months seem to just keep going down. I still have suicidal thoughts, but not as frequent as before. However I have noticed that I've been finding it harder to get out of bed every morning. I just want to stay there, but I get up, and do whatever I have to do. I fee like I haven't slept at all. Even though I've gotten at least 6-8 hours sleep. If not more.

I'm then in a terrible mood, for the whole day. The smallest of things seem to set me off. I find things most people don't notice, extremely irritating. I'm not like this everyday, some days are worse than others. The only time I'm not tired, or irritated is about an hour or two before I go to bed. Then I find it hard to fall asleep.

There's another thing that's been bothering me. My family and friends all think I'm gay. I don't know why, and no matter how many times I tell them I'm not, they keep bringing it up. I'm not the most masculine of guys..but I'm not feminine. Since my Dad died, I've been the only guy in the house, and the only guys I talk to are my friends, cousins and my grandad. I literally cannot talk to any girl I'm attracted to. I always feel insecure, and realise I'm out of their league. I feel like everywhere I go, people are looking at me, especially girls. I know being tall doesn't help, because I stand out in a crowd..but i always feel uncomfortable when walking down a busy street by myself. I'm ok if I'm with a group of friends, but I think it's just I'm too busy talking to notice that people are looking at me.

I don't know what to do now. I can live with being looked at, and people thinking I'm gay, but I don't like being so irritable. I hate snapping at people, for doing nothing. I also hate being so tired..and don't want to do about it. If anyone has any tips, they are much appreciated.

Thanks, Jack

P.S, I don't have anything against the LGBT community, many of my friends and relatives are gay, and they are the funniest, nicest people I have ever met.

2

Hi Jack

Im sorry you're not feeling great at the moment. Have you got someone who can support you or a counsellor? Are you on any medication to help?

Im similar but my counsellor taught me some useful tips (breathing techniques also help as well as organising things in my work life) but also got to the bottom of a few of my issues which once i addressed it was easier. Im on medication Valdaxon which is keeping me calm, i sleep well and dont feel drugged the next day.

Bugger what your family say you know you're not gay and so what if you were either or try and ignore their comments or sit them down and explain how they're making you feel. That was another thing my counsellor helped with. I hope you find someone to chat with either professional or other, im here if you feel like a chat) take care Janis

3

Hi Janis, thank you for the reply.

I have been to counselling, but it stopped about 7 months ago. I hated every minute of it, so I ended up lying about how I felt to get out of it. I'm not any any medication, I've been to my GP, who told me it's all grief and I'll be fine in time ( however I've gotten worse.)

I will try to sit down with my family, and tell them how I feel..hopefully they will stop then.

Thanks again for the reply,

Jack

4

Hi jack

Why dont you try another counsellor sometimes we just dont gel with the first, i was lucky mine was great, no pressure though. Keep trying until you get what you need. Excercise is good for the mind too and maybe try another Dr. Grief or not still need some help. Im happy to chat whenever. Please keep trying though and dont give up.

Thanks Janis

5

sounds like you're suffering from generalized anxiety disorder.  it explains the lack of motivation, not wanting to get out of bed and so on...overly self conscious etc...  i've been struggling with GAD for about a year and a half.  i can relate to just not wanting to get out of bed, not do anything and will feel extremely exhausted to the point of wanting to just find my bed by mid afternoon for no reason at all. 

seems like you're caring too much what people think and how you're perceived...also exaggerated with GAD. 

likewise, i'm extremely irritable and can go from totally calm to yelling and p*ssed off in a split second.  overreaction is another symptoms of GAD.  have you seen a doctor for your concerns...above all be honest.

also, have you told your friends and family that you find it difficult to talk with girls?  opening up about this may erase their perceptions regardless of embarrassing it might be.  

if you're not...you're not...that simple.  and like you said nothing wrong with it if you were otherwise.  let this concern go and move on.  good luck. 

6

Hi Janis,

Thanks for the reply, I think I'll try get a different counsellor and see how I get on then. I will also go back to my doctor when I get the chance.

Thanks again, Jack

7

Good luck with everything ☺

8

Hi, thank you for the reply.

To be honest, I haven't told anyone about my shyness around girls, or about how I feel in busy public places. I haven't told my doctor, but I plan on telling her when I get an appointment.

I hope to see her within the next two weeks. I will let you know how I get on.

Jack

9

opening up helps a lot...it did for me.  and it seems you eventually get to the point where you don't give a damn what people think.  for example, many with GAD look perfectly normal and to many appear laid back and worry free.  my wife had this perception of me..."you never worry about anything...how can you stay so calm?"  and so on.  but, internally it was like a nuclear bomb going off.  so finally, it was to the point i had to explain what it felt like and how distressing it is mentally.  i had to explain the physical symptoms to her despite normal medical checks and results.  i guess i got fed up with her disbelief which i'm partly to blame...appearing normal on the outside.  anyway, hope you work through this.