hi Ive been doing alot of research into mental health trying to figure out whats going on.I found dpdr which sounded like it might be what I felt. i dont feel like Im outside of my body but I do look at my hands and my face in the mirror and panic. like i do recognise myself intellectually the same way when I see my parents i know who they are intellectually. but at the same it feels really weird the fact that I have a face or a body and sometimes it can feel like im looking at a videogame character.
theres been plenty of moments where Ive felt like I was going crazy (it might have been a panic attack) like I was looking at my thoughts and thinking what do they mean and trying to match my memories and emotions. And I think my emotions/or mood of my thoughts change quickly.
Like I was in the shower earlier and was sobbing then I felt hopeful then panic (though its very hard to remember precisely ) when I talk and text/write. i feel detached from my writing/talking like my voice or words are sort of meaningless. like when I try and think organize my memories and emotions i feel panic and sort of mind blankness. like the world around me doesnt look different but it feels weird. and i think i feel emotionally numb but I dont know. i know this post is all overvthe place but this is how my mind feels.