I've given BV (thrush?) to my partner and I feel so guilty..

Women's health
1

I had some minor itching on my penis but nothing to make me suspect I had BV. However, having had intercourse with my partner for the 1st time in some months, the following day she now feels incredible pain and discomfort. I have treated myself with  fluconazole and she has done the same and used cream but feels no immediate relief.

Does anybody know how long it takes to clear?

additionally, as this has never happened in 5 years but does the first time after we are apart for some time, she thinks I have been unfaithful, which I definitely haven't. Any ideas about how I can reassure her? Seeing her in pain whilst doubting my fidelity is killing me..

2

Hi mark 

lovely you come on here to get help.. Very caring 

heres some info for you 

Bacterial vaginosis is the most common cause of unusual vaginal discharge which develops when the normal environment of the vagina changes. One in three women will get it at some time. It is not a sexually transmitted infection but can develop after you have had sex.

Men do not get bacterial vaginosis.

what age is your partner 

jay  

3

Hi Jay, thanks for this.

She's 44 - never had it before, hence her alarm, as it seems to be much more painful than the info on sites would lead us to believe. As it happened the morning after a day of sex we,d assumed I had thrush and passed it to her.. I've agreed to get checked for STI's (tho I'm aware thrush isn't an STI) to appease her.  I'm now wondering if it's something else..

thanks again,

M.

4

Hi 

Thrush wont show up a day after sex .. ( not normally unless there already and its exaggerated it ) 

maybe theres just discomfort .. Happens from time to time.

shes at the age of peri menopause , not saying thats it ..

i began peri meno at age 39, hormone decline, it affects lots of things, and get lots of thrush, Urinary tract infection, Cystitis etc, frequency in urinating .

if she has thrush, she will have a thick white discharge .. Feels itchy, burny, you dont know what to do with yourself..

you say you took a tablet but also rub some canestan cream all over penis, as well, nooks and crannies ... For a few days incase ..

when i have had thrush i use an oral tablet like you have and the canestan once vaginal cream or cream ( other) for 3 nights..

thrush takes a few days to go..

but doesnt come on as quick as next day from you .. ( unless already there and sex has made it worse ) 

maybe its soreness from dryness, Thrush, change in flora ... ( too much) 

could be number of things ..

vigorous sex can cause discomfort if not had sex for a while etc 

if your in UK the GUM clinic will help you both .. 

jay 

5

Jay, you really are a star.. She's not speaking to me at the moment so it's not possible for me to clarify the symptoms re discharge etc, But your advice about thrush not being evident so soon after sex is key.. We usually use lube and didn't on that occasion and she was dry towards the end so I'm wondering if it may be a slight tear or something? Especially given she spoke of the severe pain rather than the itching or discharge..

just out of curiosity, is there any STI that would display symptoms so soon after sex? - I'm going to ring a GUM clinic tomorrow but im wondering if anything has lay dormant with me for a while?

your advice is very reassuring Jay, thanks again.. M

6

Hello Mark 

i doubt it... Usually these things take few days take hold.. ( infect someone) 

( i am no doctor ) but any infection etc takes time to get into body and display symptoms ..

sounds like vaginal dryness and pain from what you describe .. Maybe coincidence you say your itchy not sure .. But thrush treatments always good if unsure ..

process of elimination ..

i have been through  the lot  😃 

long peri from age 30/40 and now age 50 post menopause .. ( 20 months ) 

so know all about discomfort and pain etc ..

always need lube or i would be in agony .. Even when i was 39 / 40 

maybe she is quietly feeling hormone decline .. And feels vulnerable, up and down and not saying anything..  ( some dont even know about peri meno and what happens) think it hapoens in their 50' where actually hormones can start declining from mid 30's 

Anxiety is a big deal during peri menopause .. And shes at the right age .. 

Irregular erratic periods, begin, usually the first sign is night sweats here and there, although we all vary ..

emotional, irrational and feeling inadequate is another good indicator that hormones may be going crazy ... 

It may not be this .. But gives you an insight ..

Pjur Woman body glide good for sex by the way .

jay 

 

7

Thanks again Jay, and for sharing so much of ur experience.. She is still very angry with me despite my attempts to share information but hopefully it will subside. I'm going to go to Gum clinic for a full overhaul anyway.

take care and many regards, Mark

8

Bless her 

good luck 

give her a big hug ... Insist ..

( we like that even when we are angry - shows you care ) 

jay 

9

Hi,

She could be reinfecting herself  as it could be the same as trichomonus & you both need testing & treating .This reminds me of the agro I had in my 20's now 68 & chaste as a result.Last time it was chlamydia even though been chaste for a year.

They used to give me metranizadole then & had recently a number of times even though been chaste since my 40s .If its any consolation was told then Nuns got it.

Just noticed you can get testing in an online pharmacy store .Mine connected with acute urinary tract  infections too.