I am from India and got married an year ago.I was doing a good job over there where i was paid very well.
9 months ago I shifted to UK as my husband is working here. Initially I was very excited about it but as I came here, it came to me as a complete culture shock. I came here in winters and days were really really dark and short. It kept raining all day.So it was very depressing for me. Whole day I had to stay at home and I felt as if I have come to some jail. I fell ill and had to hospitalise.My husband supported me alot during these days.
After sometime I started looking for a job. but after trying a lot I could not get a job. I had always thought very high of me so I started feeling bad about myself.
Apart from this most of the time I am sitting home. Hardly any outing. On weekends my husband plays football so he is there.
Hence I end up being alone and lonely most of the time.In the begining he tried to make out some time for me but now that has also stopped .And I donot want to bother him after coming from work.So I have stopped complaining.
Most of the time I am spending Sleeping,watching TV or procastinating.As a resul, I have gained 20 kgs of weight.
I have started hating myself.Even my husband doesnt bother much about my depression and and feels that I act depressed.
I has also stopped supporting me. He doesnt even bother to make up after an argument and 4-5 days passes on without conversation amongst us.
Due to all this I feel lonely over here as I have no friends and family here.I dont want to tell all this to my parents as I dont want to bother them.
I feel really really lonely.Really do not undersatand what to do .A piece of advice will help..
Hello Shaku,
I am so very sorry that since your arrival in the UK you have experienced so much misery. You are now stuck in a cycle of hopelessness from which only you can step outside of. Luckily you have found the best place to start with this forum. I don't know what your financial circumstances are but while you are waiting to find employment you could consider either a further education course and/ or join a gym. Self confidence is our gretest weapon against depression and unfortunately we are the only ones who can take that first step. Make weight loss your first target and start by going for a brisk walk on a nice day. That sounds a bit crass I know but in my experience exercise in fresh air is very therapeutic. You need to build a circle of friends who can both support and understand you. You have a right to feel good about yourself and you have to regain control of your life and make today the 1st day of the new you. It is not going to be easy but as a young woman you have time on your side. I would be very reluctant to go down the pharmaceutical route at this stage and see if you can rebuild your self confidence with your undoubted courage. Anybody who has the strength of character to come to a foreign country and start a completely different life certainly has the ability to regain their self worth. Very very good luck and welcome to the UK we are really not that bad.....
Deryl .. I can't express my feelings towards ur encouraging words. I felt so protected and cared that I cried for 15 mins after reading ur words.
I really felt heard and understood.
Thank u so much and a big hug.
Hi Shaku
My heart goes out to and can understand how isolated and lonely you have felt for a long time now. Do you live in a city? There are women's groups you can join or look for somewhere that you can do craft classes, flower making etc and you will make friends. Keep talking on here for company until you get back on your feet..You can even private message me for a chat and I will answer your messages..
Hi Shaku, That is all so sad. I'm here for you if you want to have someone to talk to. I spend lots of hours alone too. Write if you want. Best to you
Hello Shaku,
Just checking in with you to see how you feel today and I hope that things are looking up. Take care, we care about you