i want to die but only short term

hey i really hate being alive and i can't imagine staying alive for very much longer because my anxiety and depression are both so bad, and im extremly overwhelmed even though there isn't very much going on in my lif right now, but i don't want to die because i think i might want to be alive later. im taking meds for depression, anxiety, etc. but im afraid that if i talk about how much i think about dying, someone might try to put me in a hospital, which i dont want. its already been suggested a couple of times, but i really don't think that's the best solution right now. supposedly my depression should be getting better, but i think the anxiety is getting worse and that might be making my depression worse. im not sure of this is normal or not, or if i should be worried about my suicidal thoughts getting worse before they get better? i honestly dont think i could ever kill myself even if i wanted to, because i would be too anxious, but im not sure what im going to feel like in a few months. maybe someone else has had similar thoughts and has an idea of what my future might look like, and whether or not casual suicidal thoughts will manifest into something serious. is this something that will go away as my medications change and (hopefully) improve, or do i need to address it directly?

I am afraid dying is rather long term so I should reconsider!

Good point, Richard, and well said.

If you are really serious about wanting help, and I do mean that. Right now, I want you to do something that will help tremendously, then come back, and we go from there. Google exactly this, adrenaline and anxiety  then read the postings, at least a few of them. This will explain exactly what is happening with you (and all of us here) and why. Go for it.

Maybe you need to have your meds increase or try a new med.