So I’m going to make one long post because I just need help and small posts aren’t helping so better to write it all out.
So I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety and depression not so much the depression anymore. But it started about August and I had stress from not working and moving to a new place I didn’t know people and just had my husband. We didn’t go out much and I think I got a little antsy inside all the time and then I stopped working because I had another job offer but it was two months off before that would start which put everything on my husband which caused him to get upset with me and we fought a lot I was also still not knowing a lot of people so I felt lonely and since he worked a lot I was in our apartment by myself mostly everyday and we don’t have many windows since it’s small and I didn’t get out or do much. Kind of just sat around and stayed in my head too much. One night I woke up sweating and shaking so bad feeling so nausea and scared I got so sick I thought I was dying literally my heart race was up and i couldn’t breathe. I think this was my first panic attack I’m not sure. Fast forward I took a trip to visit family and felt really off on the drive there kind of scared even but it went away. That same day I got the worst stomach ache and got super sick wasn’t eating and then one morning I was eating cereal and felt like I was choking and couldn’t breathe for dizzy and itchy. Then a couple days later I was tired and already nervous because I had to fly home, I’m terrified of flying and had to go by myself for the first time. Got up in the air I got super lightheaded and thought I was going to pass out. I finally calmed down but was panicking a lot the whole way. I thought it would go away after that but I just got nausea every morning and was throwing up and then got weird pressure in my head,tingling, numbness, and got terrible intrusive thoughts that made me question myself and made me scared of myself. I was crying all the time wanted to die, had to suck it up and go to work but every morning I’d get warm and scared light headed and throw up. I started sleeping for 14 hours because it was the only thing that made me feel safe I couldn’t get out of bed I thought I was losing my mind and I as going to lose control of myself. So finally I went to the doctor and he prescribed me 10mg Celexa which has made a different and the thoughts aren’t so bad anymore but I’m about to be on week six, I’m still having depersonalization and moments where I feel like I’m losing control or weird thoughts about not being real. Sleep has been a struggle as when I fall asleep I get dizzy, shaking and feel super heavy to the point I think I’m dying but get up and walk around and get a heating pad that comforts me. Please someone help me and tell me I’ll be okay again.... I forgot what it feels like to be normal and I just want to know I will be okay again 
it’s hard to afford doctors and therapy sessions so I’m wondering if I can overcome this on my own. It’s terrifying because I’m still have random weird thoughts and then scared to go out without panicking.
Have you read much about the fight or flight response? It’s important to learn about it because this is exactly what’s happening to your body. This continued response is causing you all these physical symptoms but you mustn’t be scared if it because it’s not going to hurt you. Yes it’s horrible but it’s our natural response to danger. Unfortunately for some of us, we go through a particular time in our life where this response becomes out of balance. I’m also having a bad time at the moment, I was doing so well and then yesterday I was under a lot of stress and it’s triggered it again. I’ve woken up about an hour ago with heightened anxiety because of the adrenaline that pumping through my body. It’s difficult because when this happens, we begin to worry, then get anxious and that’s why we panic.
Personally I think that you may need an increase in dose as you say you are experiencing intrusive thoughts a lot still and this probably shouldn’t be happening anymore or atleast not to much. Some anxiety disorders need 20mg so maybe that’s what you need. I’ve only been on 10mg for 2 weeks and 5 days and personally have felt great up until today. Basically I had a failed coil removal so it’s got me all worried. Plus it hurt and I know that it’s going to hurt more when I finally get it out. And it’s that feeling if the unknown now that’s got me in this mess again.
I’m hoping it’s just a blip.
But no matter what, you will get through this. We will get through this.
Just keep your doctor updated to date in your thoughts and feelings and he/ she will guide you through this.
Thank you so much for responding! I’m so sorry that you are going through a blip again. It’s not fun, and I hope it gets better again.
Yes I’ve read about it and how do I get it under control? It’s so hard not to focus on that and feeling like I’m in a dream like state I guess???
But no the intrusive thoughts have gone and aren’t as loud as they were before or bothersome I do have them. But you still think I should have a dose up?
Depersonalization and everything about anxiety is awful. But you can totally beat this and feel normal again. I know money is tight, but are there any support groups or low cost walk ins near you? I would also encourage you to find ways to get out of the house and socialize that you’re comfortable with. But please know that you aren’t alone, and thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.
Well I’m no doctor but I do know that in a lot of cases 20mg is prescribed for anxiety disorder to. That’s something you will have to discuss with your doctor. I’ve had the worst night sleep and feel pretty awful now. I cannot wait for all of this to go away. But the key is to not fight it. Let it happen and except it. Easier said than done but I think it will help. So I’m going to head to work today and just say to myself “ ok so you feel absolutely awful, but it’s ok because you’ll get to the end of your shift and then you can rest “. No point in fighting it.
It’s just so weird anxiety isn’t it. I went all through my life without it. I used to worry about stuff but not to this extreme, and then bam it just all caught up with me and now I have to learn to live with it. Manage it. Because deep
Down I know it’ll always be there now I’m the back of my mind. Even when I’m past this.
Where do you live? Do you get free healthcare? Or are you insured? I’m starting a group anxiety class in February so hopefully that’ll help me. Good luck x
I will be going to the doctor tomorrow so I will talk to him about that. But I’m so sorry to hear that. Can I ask what’s usually going through your mind? I haven’t been sleeping well at all constant panic attacks while falling asleep it’s a weird feeling...
I’m having trouble getting up and doing things because I feel scared I don’t even know what of at this point. Just uncomfortable.
I live in California so unfortunately no. I’m looking into online therapists now since it seems to be cheaper. Don’t need insurance either.
It’s really hard this morning I woke up scared of my movements because I didn’t feel like it was me..gosh why does anxiety do this? Sometimes I feel like it’s more... it’s so hard getting out lately. I’ve been trying so hard though. Thank you for the words of encouragement!
Well for me when I first experienced this type of anxiety, I was also battling with gastritis and a rotator cuff injury ( which I still am now ) I had a bad side affect from some anti inflammatory medication and it just all spiralled from there. Because I never know what was happening I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind because of the physical symptoms I was experiencing. Mostly it was health worries. I also felt so down because I felt like I wasn’t getting better, but at the time I didn’t realise that it was the anxiety that was causing it and making everything worse. I felt absolutely isolated and alone and some days felt terrified and unable to cope.
Now I know what it is, although it’s still very unpleasant and painful and mentally challenging, I know it’s anxiety and it just really annoys me. Frustrates me which only makes me more anxious. Like laying awake at night with heart palpitations, racing thoughts like ( how am I going to cope tomorrow if I can’t get to sleep ) ( is the medication working ) ( why is this happening again, wishing it will go away ) ( worrying about health stuff like the fact I had a failed coil removal on Monday and now I have to wait longer to get it out and it’s going to be very a unpleasant experience) you name it, all sorts go through my mind.
I am a over worrier and all these health problems have basically triggered the anxiety. I know I will get better and overcome this illness but I understand how frustrating it is when you are in the middle of it and it’s all new.
I’m so sorry to hear that. We will beat this! Just have to take it day by day! Are you working currently? Or has it effected your work? I can’t currently work because I feel so bad and have trouble with keep my thoughts under control. I’m wondering if mine is hormonal. I’ve suffered from ovarian cysts in the past and it throws me off so I’m wondering if I have another one and it’s throwing me off I just have never been this bad where my thoughts are taking control. It’s terrifying when you know they aren’t yours and it’s anxiety