been a heavy drinker since my teens, I'm early 50's now back in December I lost my sight due to a retinal occlusion in my one good eye, then having to wait almost 3 months for a operation on my gammy eye to try and give me back some vision, sent me in to a deep dark place (almost suicidal)
I didnt speak about it as everyone was looking at a positive outcome to the operation but I hit the booze even harder after the opp I am now visually impaired but the drinking kept going. I would buy 3/4 bottles of strong beer 5% to 7% along with a bottle of wine and call in the pub on the way home for 2/3 pints of Guinness
I started getting pain in my right kidney area and kept telling myself in the morning when the pain would happen, that I had to stop drinking as I'm killing myself.
Then in the evening the cravings would start and off I'd go to get my supply, it was a bit like Groundhog Day I'd tell my self the same thing the following morning and go for my fix in the evening
i have also put on an horrendous amount of weight to the point I'm classed as morbidly obese
I last drank on Sunday, the usuall plus around 6 extra pints of cider today is my second day of cold turkey, I was ok yesterday (Monday) which is when I found this forum and have had cravings tonight (Tuesday) tried to keep them at bay by eating and drinking soda water
im thinking of going to my gp to see if he will prescribe nalmefene if not I may purchase on line, but I can't be doing AA
appologies for the long winded intro but I'm hopeing this will be the start
I would think that your gp would try you on nalmafene if you have exhausted other avenues I,m on day three of the tablet and I must say you definitely have a reduction in cravings for alcohol
Paul, if you get much more than very mild withdrawal symptoms (i.e. if you begin to get shaky, sweat a lot, find yourself getting very physically agitated, get pins and needles, you are having increasingly severe withdrawal symptoms), you cannot continue going cold turkey. It can be extremely dangerous. You have gone more than 48 hours which would normally mean that you are past the danger period but you can never know, withdrawal symptoms can start up to 72 hours after your last drink.
Cravings are something different. They are uncomfortable but not dangerous.
I tried to stop on my own. I'd always drink again. When I wasn't drinking, I'd be thinking of drinking. I'd always go back to drinking and then drink more than I intended. Once the alcohol was in me the craving would continue beyond my control. I'd drink until I passed out. That was years ago. My drinking was never really 'social'. Though for years, I told myself I was in control and due to the circles I was in and the pubs I frequented and then the bottles of wine after the pub, I lived the fantasy that everyone drank like me and this was normal.
It progressed. I ended up in an asylum for a day, numerous jail cells and then the hospital. On two occassions the dts. I saw tormenting ghosts telling me they were going to kill me for five days and they would be there all day following me to the pub. I drank to get rid of them. This I later learned, were dts. I got into a pub fight and had my ribs broken and was separated from alcohol, only because I was in hospital with broken ribs, for 48 hours, this is when the dts kick in. I had still told myself I was drinking socially. Before this experience I'd been on a three-month bender. Rememeber, I began as and still believed I was a 'social' drinker and I was in control.
I went to rehab, got an alcohol worker through the NHS. I still kept drinking and kept getting arrested. Left England and had a three day black out in an airport.
I kept drinking. Suicide seemes like an option. I kept drinking. Another detox and then I gave in. I surrendered. Alcohol is more powerful than I am. I asked for help from A.A. and worked The Steps.
I haven't drank for 9 months and 15 days.
I couldn't do it on my own. I had lost the choice in drinking alcohol. No matter what my memories were of my past drinking I always returned to it. My will power was non-existent and failed in regards to alcohol.
My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.
Thank God, that I've relaised that and I get the chance to make amends.
Dear Richard. YOu are a brave man and we all wish you a continued recovery. For your one year celebtation i suggest that you do something you would normally do. Perahaps driving a Ferrari or parachuting?? Anything wild to celebrate your fabulous life. I wish you all the best!
Hi Paul, thanks for the reply, so far so good did have some sweats last night and im thinking partly withdrawal and partly humidity
My Mrs came home from work last night ...........with a bottle of vodka i didnt indulge even though she offered me twice, and the bloody urge to say yes was very strong but kept reminding my self of the back pain
if i do get serious withdrawals, although i think im ok should i drink?
thanks for your reply Richard and well done on your achievement, its early days for me at the moment and i know by Friday the urge to drink will get stronger as Friday has always been the end of the working week and time to get bladered
Friday would or will be stock up in the house go to the pub order two pints of guinness when i walked in as the first wouldnt touch the sides then another 2 maybe 3 before going home to cook a meal and start drinking my stock a la Keith Floyd while cooking, making sure food would not be ready untill ive downed my beers then i could justify opening the wine to have with the meal
i suppose i dont see my self as an alcoholic because i dont get up at 8 am and reach for a drink but i do realise i have a problem but am i ready to admit i have a problem and as i said its early days
Dear paulwgun, don't give up trying, you really can do it....I was like you.....sectioned four times....four home detox .....near death on quite a few occasions...awful, awful times for my lovely family....I have been well for over twelve years...I tried over and over and over again..but eventually made it....I had an ALCOHOL NURSE who became a true friend...please keep trying, you are worth it xxxx
I truly wish you well.Deirdre xxx
Paul...very, very, very well done on keeping sober, you are a real inspiration....all the good WISHES to you also ...d xxx
I haven't told her paul I know I should but on Sunday she preached that we or more specifically me need to cut out the drink due to our weight gain and eat healthier. I was a bit annoyed that she brought home vodka but I think I have to sit her down and explain my cravings
at this moment in time 18:00 day 3 I'm fighting with my cravings as I could murder a couple of pints now
Drink the couple of pints you crave, Poor you. Then try and stop abruptly. If you wake up tomorrow after another session which you didn't intend. You're probably alcoholic. Stop craving attention and stop messing around. People die from this.
Hi Richard, very well done...ni tried AA a few times, but it was to intense for me...( not the god part....I am a Roman Catholic. )..
The people were lovely, but I would could home more depressed..I look back on those ten years of ABSOLUTE hell, it seems like a different life....but I still wake every morning and thank god that I have recovered....twelve and a half years sober....
I found cas more helpful and my psychiatrist...not so keen on the four sections...but they worked....
It is hard giving up, but it gets easier with time...listen to Paul's advice. He is very sensible and knowledgeable...very many congratulations to you on your achievement. You like me have made a great change in our lives too....I urge others, nust keep trying,...if you slip up, we all have many of those !!! Just pick yourself up and try again, and again, and again...you will get there in the end...regards..Deirdre xx