Okay so here’s how the story goes, when I was younger, I always knew that I liked boys, my first ever crush was shark boy from shark boy and lava girl haha. It was when I was about 11 or 12, when I stumbled across something... lesbian porn. It excited me. I never thought anything of it at the time but occasionally my mind would think, “ am I lesbian?” Then right away i knew I wasn’t because I’ve always had crushes on boys. I also searched on the web that it’s Normal for girls to like lesbian porn. So I never thought anything of it. But I would also have some sexual thoughts about girls like the ones in the pornos, like what it would be like to be one of those girls or something like that. Last summer I had a boyfriend who completely tore me apart and it took me so long to get over, and now that I’m almost completely over it I don’t really have much feelings for guys anymore, it’s weird to me. Then all of a sudden i remembered how much I liked lesbian porn, and I started freaking out because I thought I was turing gay and my mind was all over the place, now my brain will randomly think of some sexual situation with a girl I don’t know why then I get freaked out again. I’ve always known I liked boys but I I feel like these thoughts are taking over my head and that I’m actually bi, I started to wonder what it was like to kiss a girl, but I would never feel the need to act upon it. I have mental break downs because I’m scared of being gay (I’m not homophonic at all, I just fear that ill be gay or bi ) my parents and cousins are very against it because I’m Christian and I come from a Christian home. I started searching deep into the web hoping I’ll find some sort of an answer, but my mind just keeps going on to the fact that it’s a possibility. I feel very uncomfortable telling anyone including my best friend, because I feel she wouldn’t get it. I’ve never had any emotional feelings towards any girls like I do boys but I’m so scared, please help me.
Hey! So first things first, no one can tell you if you‘re bi but yourself. I believe we have all doubted what its like to kiss someone from out opposite sex and I personally know MANY straight friends that enjoy watching lesbian porn but are still sure they like guys. However, I want you to know that having doubts about your sextually isn’t bad. I know you‘re very confused right now and you‘re afraid, and I totally get that. We live in a society in which we judge people based on their sexual identit., religion, etc. And that is sometimes hard if you‘re going against the „normal“ standards that the society put. But I want you to know that if you are bi, there is absolutely nothing wrong! I know it can be hard to accept it and you‘re mind now is going in circles, but I‘m sure that if you turn out to be bi, you will have people to support you. Luckily we are in 2018 and people are being more open about this. I know its easier said then done but I just want to say that 1. it is normal to doubt (even your sexuality), 2. it is normal to dbe confused and 3. there is NOTHING wrong with being bi. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I‘ll be glad to be there for you. (I‘m 19)