im not sure how long ive been depressed for i just know its been a long time

Mental health
1

I hate what i have become, every other day i have stomach problems most days i wake up stil feeling tired and bloated. I never go out anymore and if i do its an over thinking session about everything ! If i eat junk food or fizzy drinks i find i feel like sh*t after. Basically i feel like my life is near over when this should be the best years of my life sad 

I was bullied for years about my appearance and stupidness as well as my sh*tness at p.e. 

I was humiluated and left down trodding by people every single year of my life. 

Ive got to the point where everything is a struggle and it shouldnt be like this sad 

I wasted My whole summer overthinking and working on myself as i never feel like i am good enough. 

I started counciling a couple of months ago when i realised that something was very wrong. 

I isolated myself from my friends and family and i disabled my facebook account and i hate photographs. 

My sister thinks i have body dismorphia.

People say i could be a model cause im so tall and pretty but i see someone ugly everytime i look at photos or even in the mirror. 

My eye circles are becoming increasingly dark and i used to wake up every few hours at night.

Theres so much more i could say about what ive been through but looking at other peoples stories mine seems minor and that makes me feel pathetic sad 

Everything as to be perfect all the time, i spend hours getting ready and even after i feel like its still not good enough. 

I dont know what to do im only 20 years old and even my counsellor is stumped on how to help me. She dosnt think i should be body dysmorphic as she thinks im stunning. 

Ive stopped going to counselling as im down at university now and i would need to arrange it with another one. 

I am currently staying in a house with other people but i feel like i cant relax and enjoy myself, i dont want to take pictures with them and I want to go out but i dont at the same time. 

I just want to feel like me again! i used to love going out but i had a few bad nights out and it really effected me. 

I want to be able to eat whatever i want without feeling like sh*t after. 

I want to stop having these aches in my guts 

mostly i just want to live, im at uni and im not even living at all.

 

2

You could have ibs that could be the reason behind your stomach pains go see your gp about them as for your apearence if people are telling you you are stunning start saying it to yourself take 10 minutes a day just to say to yourself I am me know one else but me I am beautiful and sooner or later you may start to believe in yourself and gain confidence back dont worry about what happened in school that can never be changed just look to the future and be who you want to be studdy hard get what you want in life you will never get another chance and if you do it now when you are much older you should have no regrets take care

3

i think your right ibs is linked to depression as well so it all makes sense. I did go to doctors but she just gave me laxiode or something although it wasnt as bad back then as it is now. 

4

Try and figure out what foods upset you most and cut them back my guess is junk food with high fat content every now and again would be fine for you I understand eating healthy can be boring I am a chef by trade and I dont really eat that healthy cook all day I just want something quick so junk food more often than not but treat yourself right and other things will fall into place for you mind you I am on the sick with depression at the moment and eating much better and I have lost a little bit of weight so one good thing to come out of my issues lol

5

I just think you have low confidence and self esteem at the moment. Take your time at university and your achievements may help to boost your confidence.  You may even find someone nice to care for you. Keep your options open.  Also try not to feel guilty about food. that is a slippery slope to digestive problems.

Richard

6

Bread is known to be a cause of bloating so try cutting out or right down and see if it makes a difference.  Wholemeal bread is less likely to make you bloat.  Another thing which might help is to eat smaller meals but more often.  And cut the junk right down! 

If you have been told so many times you are beatiful then you are.  You are looking only on the inside and that's where you feel ugly.  There should be a student counsellor at Uni so make an appointment to see them.  x