I am an adult student doing a PhD and am a health professional. I'm am ruining my own life, health, opportunities by wasting so much time and money either drinking or feeling hungover. I'm ashamed of myself everytime I can't control my drinking. I don't want to take medication. I have moved to a new city with my youngest child to do this PhD and thought the new break (no friends or family here) would help me stop. It hasn't. I want to stop. I get to day 3 and it all goes south and I end up binging. The binges are the worst - they take me two days to get over. I am a professional - I see people professionally and feel like throwing up when talking to them!! What kind of person does that????? I am seeing a psychologist and she is trying to help me - we make plans of how I'm going to manage my addiction and then when I want to drink those plans just go straight out the window. I am struggling to get over a damaging relationship with somebody who I adored but who I became a full blown alcholic with and also nearly a drug addict. Drugs were easy to give up - when he wasn't supplying them, I never took them so now I am no contact with him, I have no access and no desire. But the alcohol has got me in it's grip and I need to get out of this before my whole life and everything I've worked for is completely ruined. Status right now- Binged friday night badly - didn't do anything too embarassing - went to a pub met some other drunks, danced etc. - nothing toooo excruciating. HOwever, it is still NOT who I wnat to be. I hate this person. The drunk. Saturday - hungover. Today - Ok, still foggy, don't feel like drinking but know it is going to hit me tomorrow when all alcohol is out of my system. Some helpful stories of how people got through those first weeks with no medication may at least make me think this is even possible. Thanks.
Hello Bronize,
I have managed to go 12 days Alcohol-free. I was taking medication, Selincro/Nalmefene for 9 weeks, to taper down my Alcohol Units intake, daily. I am wondering why you don't want to take medication.
I hope someone else will have information on how to get Alcohol-free, without medication.
Alonangel 🎇
I live in Australia and the only drugs available are really just too heavy for what I consider an appropriate risk. We cannot get Selincro. We can get naltrexone which is not worth the risk in my opinion. It is very hard to get things prescribed in Australia. Maybe that's why our country has such large problems with Alcohol abuse. I need to quit and soon. I can go approx. 3-4 days and then binge...
Hi bronize...I can sympathise lovey, my goodness...I know exactly how you feel.....it is awful...the guilt....self loathing....nausea....and the utter, overwhelming shame.....
I was a very, and I mean very !! Bad alcoholic for ten yrs.....bottles hidden everywhere....compost heap....in bushes...under floorboards...in the rubbish....anywhere with a hidden gap....
I was sectioned on a section three....four times, which did literally change my life....I have now been well for 13 yrs...I still have a drink a few times a week...but now without those awful..tear your hair out cravings !!!!
Two tips....
One ...just cut back slowly...it may take a very long time...,
Two...never beat yourself up, if you have a slip. Or many slips....
It can be achieved in time...it do so, so wish all on here the very best,...and to be what you want to be.....
If I had not been forcibly held those four times...I definitely would be DEAD NOW...I WOULD HAVE DIED 13 YRS AGO.....I WILL POST AGAIN TOMORROW.....HUGS...HUGS...HUGS XXXX
Does alcoholism run in your family?
I know you don't want to use meds, but if you've tried and crashed and crashed and crashed, you might want to reconsider.
Naltrexone actually works pretty well, if you follow The Sinclair Method, but taking it every day while abstinent doesn't work any better than placebo. I'm a daily drinker, but I've read the stories of many bingers that have used it as well. Works for them too, has a success rate of about 80% across various types of drinkers. I've cut my drinking by 75% with it. Uses the oral form of Naltrexone, not the injectable/implant form. From my POV, if you care to be free of alch, you'll take care to erase the craving that drives your habit, or you'll just be back at it.
https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder
It's not a magic pill, it takes a number of months to get to the point where you no longer crave, but people do get a good reduction in their drinking in the meantime.
I understand that Acamprosate is available in Oz, RHGB (a regular here) wrote that it can even be used during the detox process, then you take it a few times a day to kill the cravings. If you don't need to detox, then you stay dry for a week and start the medication. I don't know if Baclofen is available there or if it could be prescribed for AUD, but that's another that some have good luck with.
That being said, there's AA and SmartRecovery over there, you could plug into that. The latter is secular, more based in science and CBT, with online forums and face to face meetings as well.
very strong and heart felt reply!! I have nothing to add since I was not as far out of control and so much more admiration to you!! Robin
hi Bronize..I did not realise that drinking is such a massive problem in Australia...my small children made me stop and perhaps that is what you should keep in mind. Reay Deidre;s reply below pls..really really well written and better that what I can offer and I agree that you should stop gradually! Best of luck from Robin
Yes, alcholism runs in my family. My father is an active alcohlic, his brothers (2 out of 3) were alcoholics - the only one left alive ijs the non alcoholic, my grandfather(my dads dad) was an alcoholic, my sister is a methodone addict, my brother stays in the middle ofnowhere and binges everytime he comes to town, my other sister is addicted to food and is morbidly obese - sheis probably an alcoholic too. They all drink alcohol - by brother is the only one who sucessfully stays away from it. I
I have decided to ask for a prescription from my doctor for Naltrexone and if that doesn't work - try adding Baclofene. I don't think I have the time to waste trying AA or willpower - I already know they won't work. I can't do this. If you don't mind what dosage naltrexone did you try? And how much has your drinking decreased? I would like to stop binging - this is literally ruining my life and I'm going to lose everything if I continue.
I am seeing a psycologist and at the moment and in a online forum. It;s not working - the minute I am alone - I want to drink. Thanks so much for your reply.
Thanks Robin,
Yes I managed to stop while pregnant and slow down when they were little. Now they are older and I only have one left at home that same conditions are not applying. This last year has made me go out of control and I can't seem to get it back under control at all. I don't want to ruin my life. Thanks again for replying.
Thanks Deirdre,
Yes, I'm embarassed by taking the bottles down to the bins.. I'm also embarrased walking past pubs I may have gone to and seeing the bouncers maybe remembering me being totally smashed out of my brain. Luckily I'm not usually a nasty drunk but still I am a professional and getting blotto in public is only going to ruin anything I have worked hard for. I know what I want to be but I am going to fail fast if I can't stop drinking like this. I am going to get some medication (hopefully) on Tuesday. I need to stop. Thanks so much for your lovely reply. It did make me feel less ashamed - I know a lot of people are going through this but this is torture. It is no way to live. It is a slow death.
Yeah, sounds like you're a prime candidate for this, works especially well when it runs in the family like that.
50mg is the standard dose for this, but don't start there. Check the link I posted, talks about how people should start.
I'd been at it 30+ years before I started this. Gotten to the point where I was throwing back 84 12 ounce bottles a week. I'm down to about 20 per week now, still further to go, but I feel tons better.
One of the first things I hear from bingers using this method is that the blackouts stop.
I'll PM you with some other info.
Well done, Deirdre! How did you manage to get rid of the cravings?
You can have all the PhDs and MBAs in the world, it doesn't stop you succumbing to alcohol addiction/dependency.
I understand the 'no medication' philosophy, but in your case I feel it is short sighted. You are on the verge of being alcohol dependent, meaning that when the alcohol leave syour system, your body and brain send you a message that more is required to balance the system and bring it back to normality.
Alcohol changes the brain, over time it changes the neural pathways and whereas before, being sober was the norm, being intoxicated is the new norm, and every time you go sober, your brain sends you the signal for more alcohol.
This is why seemingly intelligent people, who know they should stop, they know why for all the right reasons and then go and buy more alcohol, because they can't stop their brain overriding common sense. It is a documented disease, it's just that so much of the medical industry and the help industry around alcohol support is woefully unaware of this.
Willpower just does not come into it, your brain will override it every time. To get through the first few days, diazepam or similar (benzo) will stop the cravings, you will lose that felling of having to get more alcohol in your system. You only need it for about 4 - 5 days.
Longer term, you need to decide whether you just want to calm your drinking down or abstain, this would have a bearing on what follow up medication you have. Selincro & naltrexone are for all intents and purposes the same thing.
As for getting medication, it is just the same in the UK it is carp (sp to avoid mods). It isn't easy, but you have to jump those hoops if you want to kick alcohol into touch.
Getting back to the no medication, you know the definition of insanity, trying the same thing and expecting a different result. You need to try something different.
From what I saw in Aus, there didn't seem to be so much of a problem with alcohol, unless of course you were aboriginal.
Thanks for the reply. I have spent the last few hours researching and have decided to try and get a prescription for naltrexone on Tuesday from the local GP. If I can't get it from the GP I have found a link to an online Dr in Aus who will prescribe.
I am willing to jump through any hoops to get naltrexone. I already know I can't cut down on my own. I have been an alcoholic since I was 15. I stopped when pregnant and that is the only time I have abstained. I managed to control it when they were little but this last two years has seen my control become non-existant. You're right about knowing why, how etc etc and then still drinking anyway. It's so tiring.
Australia has a huge alcohol problem and not just the indigenous population. It is part of our culture in a big way. I've never been to an event that doesn't have copious amounts of booze flowing. I'm usually one of the drunkest, though. When that switch flips (about third drink) I just can't stop. It's dreadful. I've only ever been able to control it by putting in ridiculous checks and measure that no longer work in my situation. I LIVE across the road from a pub.
So I will keep posting. Hopefully I can make it till Tuesday until I at least see the Dr and hopefully I can get a prescription before my next drink!
Thanks for your reply.
I take something different to naltrexone/Selincro, but there are plenty oh here who do and will give you tips and share their experience of it.
I'd still say Aus is nothing like as bad as the UK. People who live in warmer climates usually drink less, and tend to drink lighter beers. It's almost like fuel in cold climates. I drove from Sydney to Cairns (I try to stay out of cities and go to local bars) and I remember once I got north of Brisbane, them all drinking halves (midis. schooners and all manner of names depending on which State and area) and having polystyrene cup holders to keep the beer cool.
They (bar staff) kept apologising that they didn't have any pint size holders, I just said, don't worry, I'll drink it before it has a chance to get warm. But I definitely remember a large number of Aboriginals do not much other than drink, especially the further north you got, down around NSW it was apparent, mainly in Queensland.
On a side note, it makes me smile that the PC word is now indigenous, it was always Aboriginal, which was a step up from Abbos. In North America, the indigenous are referred to as First Nation. I do sometimes lose track of the phrase du jour.
But then I grew up in the Monty Python age, and sketches like 'Bruce'. Although I lived in NZ for a couple of years back in the early '70s and I don't remember the same thing with the Maoris.
Didn't the Maoris have a remedy for that sort of thing?
I think something that very often gets ignored when it comes to giving up a dependancy on alcohol is the fact that booze is a depressant. It will make you depressed! Trying to tackle any problem when you're depressed is never a good idea. You are not going to make the best decisions and you're going to find it very difficult to see something through to the end.
Also booze tends to demolish your self esteem, which makes it very easy to cop out of a commitment and provides a perfect excuse for failure. "I'm a stupid old drunk"......."of course I am, and that's why I can't do this, I'll just have a little,drink to sort my head out"....."Dammit, now I've had a drink, Ive failed.......so I may as well push the boat out and have a proper drink" and then you're back at square one again.
I think the first thing you need to do, is aknowledge that you don't just have a bit of a drink problem, you have a disease. It's called alcoholism, it's a very serious disease and it kills thousands every year.
Everything you've tried so far has failed. So don't keep doing the same old things because they will only yield the same old results. First off practice some self control by cutting down on your drinking. Then see your GP and find out what help is available in your area. Also speak to your GP about depression. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I've worked with many suffering and recovering alcoholics. In almost every case, depression was a feature of their illness and a stumbling block to recovery.
Alcohol is a very powerful and cunning enemy. I don't know if it's possible to manage your recovery on your own. I not going to tell you that you need to go to AA meetings. I went to AA for some time, it helped a little, but it wasn't for me.
I just want to let you know that there is a future for you that doesn't involve alcohol. To beat the booze you have to have a burning commitment to your own recovery. I do believe that the fellowship of other recovering addicts is almost essential. You need people that understand where your coming from, and people that can tell you plainly when you are kidding yourself.
you can do it, in fact I truly believe you will do it.
Give up the booze, don't give up on yourself or your kid.
Why would you say AA wasn't for you but say the Fellowship is essential. You are dropping AA lingo all through your post... disclaimer....I don't believe AA is very helpful at all...
I had anti depressants when my marriage broke up. I drink when I feel good. The happier I feel the more likely I am to drink. I drank on anti-depressants which isn't good. I am very vigilant about letting myself fall into a depressive state and usually a couple of days off booze, with sunshine makes me start feeling good, which makes me want to drink. I can be depressive. I will not know until I am alcohol free what I true self or mood is. I intend to use exercise to make sure I don't fall into a depressive state. I am going to get to the Dr as soon as I can to get naltrexone. I don't think AA would help me, as I am a scientist and do not believe in a higher power, nor do I think it would be condusive to me to give up my responsibility to something I don't/can't believe in. I also don't want people in my community knowing I"m an alcoholic - I am a health professional. Going to the Dr in my local community is hard enough. Also, drinking in my local pub is the worst decision I could have made - only done it twice so far - so hopefully haven't damged my rep too badly. Luckily, I know people tend to forget drunks pretty quickly if they don't keep showing up. Yes, I need to do this to not ruin my life completely and I don't want to take my daughter down with me. Thanks for your reply.
AA wasn't something I could be part of for the rest of my life. There are people that have been AA members for decades. I didn't want to be a part of that. I didn't want alcoholism defining me for the rest of my life. Something AA offers though, that I think is valuable is fellowship with other people dealing with similar problems. I found that helpful. I guess what I was trying to say is AA is helpful, but it's ok to take what you find helpful and cast aside what you may find controlling and cultish.