Hi
I have been taking this drug for 4 months now, the 1st month was a bit grim with side effects, but then i started getting better, no longer felt suicidal and stopped planning it, it was like i woke up after after years of being asleep.
However it's almost rebounded, I started feeling good, relaxed and chilled, got loads of new clothes, started going to the gym, lost a stone and a half in weight. Unfortunately I started taking notice of girls and they me. This didn't do my marriage any favours, as once I realised the ladies liked me, I kind of lost it a little bit.
I've since settled down, but still have a couple of innapropriate relationships (havent physically cheated) on the go, sex lasts forever, which a novelty at first, but now it can be a little frustrating, i am however much more loving, i enjoy life more. I've busted my credit cards on clothes and other things (sending flowers to other ladies as well)
I'm not sure if this is the real me, my wife says not, but I don't want to stop taking them, i'd rather be this person than dead, which is where i was headed.
It's great your feeling so buoyed up and that it's such a reversal from where you were before but it sounds like you need to be careful that this doesn't cause you a whole new range of problems. You need to figure what is important to you with regards to your relationship and financial situation as if you max your credit cards this could obviously lead you into bad financial difficulties which is where the root of my issues came from and led me to cutting. Also if you max them out on other woman and your wife finds out then that brings obvious issues as well. Maybe you should speak to your GP and see if they think your dose and medication is right or even see a counsiller just to talk through your new self with someone who won't judge it. I have gone the route of 20mg of citalopram and also saw a therapist for a while and things have turned right around and I will be off them soon. I hope you figure things out anyway and stay in the good place.
You are right of course, and you sound very sweet and sensible. it's a strange place, my wife tells me she feels vunerable and scared, and cannot trust my unpredictable nature.
Doctor suggested I cut down to one pill every other day, I've been mulling it over, there's a fear factor of being where i was, but the counselling i have been having has helped. i'm still not sure about cutting down though. I guess my wife wants me back the way I was, but I am scared of going back to being that miserble, dark, suicidal and introspective person. Whereas now I'm no longer looking back, and just looking for the positivty and fun in every situation regardless of how bad it is. It's seems one extreme to the other, but this extreme is definately the preferred option
Sorry for not coming back. For some reason I couldn't register and its only just been sorted out. You should listen to your doctor. I completely understand how the idea of going back to the dark days is terrifying but you need to get your dose right so you can go back to the normal days and rebuild your life as a normal person. The idea of being back where I was last summer terrifys me and though I am due to come of citalopram within the next two months (Am on my last box of 20mg and then my dose is being cut to 10mg), if I wake up feeling less than happy I promptly panic and think I should stay on the meds. Thinking about it though when in perfectly normal mental health people still have down days.
I know this reply is potentially too late to be useful but I just wanted to get back to your last post. I hope very much you are getting better and things are going better at home.