Warning may trigger. I am current in hospital after the events of yesterday. My mind was on fire to the point where I can no longer fight this horrible illness that is robbing me of my soul. I am not the person I used to be, the fun loving, happy smiling, joker has been extinguished and all is left is a broken mess. I decided that I need a way out from this torture. To fall into a deep, deep sleep and never wake up so I just thought you know what, I can't take this life anymore fighting the monsters in my head only to go to bed and start the fight again the next day. I ultimately got my meds, counted them and swallowed the lot, the total was 11, 000 700mg. I left my home & just walked aimlessly and found my self in A&E. I was asked by one of the on duty doctors what had I done & why, so I explained everything to him. He then asked if I would do it again to which I replied yes with out a doubt given the opportunity. I had previously done the same thing around five weeks ago. My mental health support worker found me a bed in a local crisis house & when he had read the doctors notes he told me if I do the same thing again he would look at a hospital admission or a section on a psychiatric ward. I did spend a month on a psychiatric recovery ward a couple of years back. I went in voluntarily so I was classed as an informal patient so I could leave the ward and take a walk to the local village though I had to give them a specific time I would be back to the ward, they also taken my mobile phone number and on admission they took a photo of me so in case I didn't return or go missing the police would have a description to put out a missing vulnerable adult report.
good luck colin stay srrong
I don’t know what it feels like to be in your position but I’m glad you’ve found the courage to talk about it. If I could help you I would, but nonetheless, you’re doing a great job with what’s going on 