Is scoliosis my fault? Did I worsen or cause it?

Bones, joints and muscles
1

Hi, I am 21 years old and I want to share this story. Somehow I started to get huge anxiety in sports lessons in school and from then it became worse. I changed school due to bad grades and in that new school I had no friends and HUGE anxiety. It was so bad that my mouth was always dry and I couldn't eat anything. You know poor vision, eye strain, underweight and health problems. I was there from 8th to 10th class and I at least finished this school. Now I'm in the next school and things are well... they are better for sure and much less annoying. Now I can keep my grades good. Soon I will finish this school and go studying.

So during that time I was in 8th to 10th grade in that school I got an underweight of only 55 kg as a male from 16 to 19 years old. That is very low, I think. Then I got sent to a mental hospital and after half a year or so they diagnosed me with psychosis, indifferent schizophrenia and asperger. Not sure if all of that is true but I definitely have an anxiety disorder and little ocd. I don't care about mental illness, I can take it as long as it doesn't affect my health. As I said, I am now in a better school and I don't feel much pain.

The thing that bothers me though... At 19 years they discovered a 20° S curve scoliosis. I think he said it was 20° on top and 15° on the bottom part of the spine. Do you think that underweight had something to do with this? Or maybe it was my poor nutrition? Maybe a lack of calcium or minerals? I asked my mother about it and she said she gave me these high calorie drinks and there should have been calcium as well. She also said that we went to the doctor to try to check for physical illnesses but they couldn't find anything. We also did blood tests and she said my nutrition was alright. At least that's what I think how it is... I'm not sure.

So as you can tell I have ocd and anxiety and so on and I am HEAVILY bothered by this. Since I got diagnosed with scoliosis I want to know if it is my fault or not. Did I worsen my health so bad to get a 20° S curve scoliosis? Did I do something wrong? Is it all my fault? Thinking back I couldn't have eaten in school and anxiety was bad. But somehow I started feeling the same way when I got home so I stopped eating as well. It was ALL anxiety in school and ALL rage and anger at home. But I think I could have got myself up to eat something at home so I wouldn't be completely malnourished. But I didn't... sad

Now at 21 years my weight is good. I am taking olanzapin and sertralin. But thinking back do you believe that if I had had normal weight and good nutrition, would I have no scoliosis right now or only a little one? I mean it all happened when I was in puberty and that's when the body grows. So I screwed everything up? I didn't get enough nutrition and weight or body fat to grow a straight spine? Is this all my fault? It makes me feel horrible and if I knew that it was my fault once they discover the cause for scoliosis then I would be destroyed. Only thinking that it's my fault makes me BLOOD BOIL! I should have killed them all in that school or went to a different school, joke.

I am working out now and I want to become strong and muscular. But that "scoliosis fault/guilt" thing really hinders me on giving my best. I think I look bad in the mirror and it shatters my hopes of achieving the best results... do you know what I mean? I mean I have scoliosis and I look weird in the mirror even though it's only 20° but still.. it looks a little "wrong". I wish I had a straight spine and no scoliosis.

But if I knew that it was definitely NOT my fault then I would be heavily relieved! So now that I shared my story with you, can you help me finally solve this issue I have and move on? I already asked my orthopaedic, a chiropractor and my doctor about it and they all said the same: they do not know the cause for scoliosis and they don't know if I worsened it or if it's my fault. So I'm asking you. Can you just enlighten me with your knowledge about scoliosis or research it. What do you think? Is scoliosis my fault due to poor nutrition or underweight or something else? As I remember then before that happened I was playing video games for like 8 hours a day (not every) while sitting weirdly uneven at the pc desk. So I had poor posture as well. But I've heard that the more weight you have, the harder scoliosis hits you but could it be that underweight might be a cause for scoliosis because the bones are easily formable? I don't know...

Please tell me if scoliosis is my fault or not. I want to give MY BEST in working out and I want this mental problem that I have to disappear! Did I worsen my scoliosis? Did I worsen my health so bad to the point of getting a 20° S curve scoliosis? Could I have prevented all of it? Is it my fault? Did I cause it? I want to know! Please explain your answer with a reasonable assumption. I want to hear your opinions on this! Did I do something wrong? Or maybe it was when I took that olanzapin pill that makes you hungry and I remember I gained like 10 kg in one month one time in the mental hospital... Whatever it is, give me the cause! I just can't believe that it is truly 100% genetic. At least not in my case... or is it? Things like this happen because of a cause! Don't they? So by judging my story what do you think of my scoliosis? Do you think I am the guilty one here? Did I worsen it or cause it? Is it entirely my fault because of the things I mentioned?

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I would appreciate many honest comments and answers from you guys! This is really important to me. It has been bugging me for 2 years now.

2

Hi there

Scoliosis is not your fault.

You were born with it okay.

I was and then later on they decided I’ve also got sacrolitis aswell. To do with hip and pelvis areas. I’ve got lower back area, problems. It’s good to exercise your core muscles keep them strong 💪🏻 to help keep your posture strong. Where you are ask in your back, your core muscles compensate that. 

All the best 

Elizabeth

3

Hi, I am 16 years old and have a triple curve in my spine. My degrees are over 40 each. I was diagnosed when I was 12 and since then I have been repeatedly told that the scoliosis can't be worsened by injury or lack of eating. I am underweight but my doctors say that has nothing to do with the curve progressing. Although if u gain weight, the curve doesn't show as much. For a severe scoliosis patient, my curve isn't easily shown but I understand how you feel. I feel awful every time I look in the mirror and see one shoulder higher than the other, one hip more prominent, etc. According to my research, environmental factors play a part in the progression of a curve. BUT the curve is definitely not your fault so please don't blame yourself for something you had no control over. If you have anymore questions and feel I could be of any help, don't hesitate to ask. Hope this gives you some clarification and even if it doesn't, I hope you don't continue to blame yourself. Trust me, I've been there and done that. It's a complete waste of time. 

4

So you think I did not worsen my scoliosis? I did not cause it too? But when I told a pupil during sports lessons that I had scoliosis, he asked me if I was always sitting weirdly in the past and I said yes. That plus the underweight and poor nutrition - is that now how I got scoliosis? Is it not my fault? Did I worsen or cause this or not? Thank you.

5

Bad posture whilst sitting can't cause scoliosis. You may have congenital scoliosis, which means it was present at birth but I doubt that because your spine isn't excessively curved. Did u grow rapidly during ur teenage years? If yes, then I think that might be the cause of your scoliosis. I don't think the scoliosis is your fault and I don't think you worsened it either. 

6

Yes I think my mother said there was a week when I grew very quickly. But doesn't that have to do anything with poor nutrition? Because in the mental hospital they gave me sertralin and olanzapin and olanzapin makes you more hungry. There were times when we went to an asian/italian whatever restaurant 3 or 4 days a week. I also gained like 10 kg in one week one time. Isn't that when I grew so quickly? So it's my fault? ;(

7

I mean I was only 55 kg as a male from 16 to 19 years so they give me a pill (olanzapin) and I gained weight very fast. Maybe thats why I grew so quickly and so it is my fault? sad

Im now at 70 kg for my 21 years.

8

Eating that much would make you gain weight, but not grow taller. Scoliosis is most often first noticed during your adolescent growth spurt, because the spine grows long enough to make the curvature noticeable.

Put your mind at ease: there is NO way to cause a curved spine, it's something that your body does on its own, and the reasons aren't completely known. Here is info from the Mayo Clinic:

Causes

Doctors don't know what causes the most common type of scoliosis — although it appears to involve hereditary factors, because the disorder tends to run in families. Less common types of scoliosis may be caused by:

Neuromuscular conditions, such as cerebral palsy or muscular dystrophy

Birth defects affecting the development of the bones of the spine

Injuries to or infections of the spine

9

So I did not do anything wrong? I did not cause or worsen my scoliosis? It just came to be this way all by itself and it was beyond my control? It was inevitable and unstoppable to happen? Whatever I could have done better, I would have got a 20° S curve anyways?

10

It's just hard to believe that I did not worsen or cause my scoliosis. Did I really not do anything wrong? The underweight, the poor nutrition and bad posture/bad sitting habits really didn't contribute to my scoliosis? These things did not worsen or cause it? Please answer. Thank you. smile

11

Nope, nope, nope. You were born with it, just like the rest of us. It only seems to come on later because we grow tall enough in adolescence for it to become noticeable. BTW, the nutritional issues sound like they weren't your fault either. Mental health issues are, for most of us, not under our control when they are bad. I had a very difficult time eating when I was depressed, and I lost a TON of weight. It's a side effect of the illness, not a personal failing...

12

Okay. I believe you. And nutrition also doesn't affect scoliosis? Because I feel like I could have eaten more back then. It was just the anxiety and pain. In school I still know that I could not eat anything there. But when I got home I purposely didn't eat anything because I was angry, anxious, exhausted and masochistic. And underweight and nutrition and these things really did not cause or worsen my scoliosis?

If I didn't have problems back then in school I would have gotten a 20° S curve scoliosis anyways? I'm sorry for asking so much but I have little ocd and I am a bit obsessed with this fault thing. Do all the things I did really not contribute to my scoliosis and make it worse? Please tell me one last time.. Thank you! cheesygrin^

13

So did my nutrition and the other things cause or worsen my scoliosis? I really want to hear your answer! It's hard for me to think that I was born with it. Sorry. smile

14

In my opinion, no. I had my initial back surgery when I was 11 years old, and that way YEARS before I had any issues with gaining or losing weight. My back started to hurt as I began to grow taller, but it was discovered early because I was the youngest in my family and we all have it. Pretty sure we inherited it from my dad, because he had very bad scoliosis also.

 

15

So I can stop feeling guilty now? I really did not do anything wrong and I did not cause or worsen my scoliosis? There's nothing I could have done to prevent it abd it's not my fault?

Thank you.

16

I got a notification but I can't see your reply. Please answer my last question I would be very grateful!

17

I was looking for an old message board and google drove me here.

But I do have experience in that. So first of all - I reckon you still will have this intrusive thought of being at fault for scoliosis or if not then it would move to new topic. Yeah, I have similar type of fun with bipolar associated psychosis mixing with neurosis and delusions.

You probably are googling everything else and since internet is very unreliable - you did get a good answer here. It is genetic but still vastly unknown territory. I recall the sentiment of incorrect sitting, walking or exercising causing it but the truth is ... it works same as without spine defects. Your eating associated disorders, sports and school related stress just probably pushed it to be visible more but it might be less visible later on. Just do not force it as hospitals put me under any physical / stretching therapy alongside with braces there are and ... it did precisely nothing.

Spines are flexible (ahem, again, leave it alone as it is fine as it is), same as our bodies. There is not much research on that in adults but mine still changes at times and can be less or more visible or go this or that way while my organs obey and follow. Essentially, I have 90 degree kyphoscoliosis where the risk was meant to be lungs, heart and others not having space but they accommodated (however it is worth doing routine checks).

Your post mentions bone issues and well loads of food related ones which seem to be more psychological but few questions:

1) How were you with food as a baby? Did you tolerate diary well? Did it change when a toddler?

2) Did you have brittle bones as a kid? Anyone with osteoporosis as a relative? How were muscles? When did you start walking?

3) Do you have any eye problems? Astigmatism?

4) Ever had loads of infections as a kid and ear infections?

I ask as we possibly had same problems as food stood out to me since never liked it even as a baby and despite having ostheoporosis, I never did handle diary. I also get hungry in rare cases but established timed routine of eating deadlines (my brain is addictive so not eating made me feel powerful in the past and you probably know that and your thought pattern goes similar way), however my family had to stage elaborate plays to get me eat even a little and that got spat out (okay, I was 1 - 4 and that was amusing).

In summary, the 'you caused' it research is old and forgotten. At the moment they are working on genetic triggers but even with medicine advancing that not much is known. Best you can do is contact your GP for referral to gene department anywhere locally to you. Might not find anything but worth a shot.

Your other issues are also pressing but yeah ... not causing your spine to rebel or rebel even more. You are at an age when bones still did not stop growing but soon will - essentially your spine still will change but it will follow encoded pattern you cannot affect. I had remotely straight back as a kid which was getting worse as a teen and worn braces buuuut yes - done nothing nor did diets.

However, the only thing to observe is pressure to internal organs but ... that is still old concept as thus far people done well.

You should turn off internet for few days as surely you will obsess about topic and then move on to diets and therapies and then to something completely else. Noticed my OCD increased with having a mobile with wifi on hand so can follow any thought I have and beat it to death. Essentially - somehow give your brain a bit of a holiday which is hard as hell plus malnutrition with mental issues is a battle from two sides as any system you work on might lead to addictive food control same as controlling lack of it. But eh, brains generally suck.

(And your school most likely caused you to worry about spine, food, world and whatever else)

Your spine will be fine. If you do not start suffocating or your heart does not pop then you will be ok.

18

Yes, so you say that not much is known yet about the causes of scoliosis and that they're searching for genetic causes. I still want to hear margaret's answer too. So should I stop feeling guilty and obsessing over this? I will probably only stop when someone tells me exactly why I did not cause or worsen my scoliosis. So is it REALLY not my fault? Did I really not worsen or cause my scoliosis? :S

This is really important to me to know it... because I told someone I had scoliosis once in school and he asked if I was always sitting incorrectly. And I answered I was sitting incorrectly in the past. That plus the underweight and poor nutrition - did it cause or worsen my scoliosis?

19

Sorry my last post didn't work! But yes, I agree completely with Sig, that you need to let yourself off the hook for this one! We can't help developing scoliosis any more than we can help developing blue or brown eyes. My dad had it, I and all my sisters do also. My brother does not, which to me is pretty strong evidence that it was passed down on my dad's x chromosome, since my brother is the only one who got a y chromosome from our dad.

You probably sit funny because of the scoliosis. As your body develops a curve, you naturally find ways to compensate. I have one leg that is much shorter than the other, because the scoliosis pulled one hip up. So, when I'm standing I usually bend the longer leg, and when I'm walking I swing it out a little bit, which makes it look like I'm limping. But I don't for one second think that these things caused my scoliosis, instead, they are a result of how I adapted to my body's differences.

One thing I've posted a lot about on these pages is how Bikram yoga changed my life. When I was a child I had surgery on my upper spine, but the years spent living with a short leg caused my tailbone to curve. I was crippled with pain, could barely walk, and to top it off I was suffering from clinical anxiety and depression. The yoga not only took away the physical pain, but it helped me to calm down and just be nicer to myself. I highly recommend it!

20

Okay people, you answered all my questions. Thank you all and I hope you will have less pain from your scoliosis. Good luck!