Just seeking reassurance..again. I've been on citalopram for 5 months,currently on 40mgs.
It's been hard work, but I've been feeling pretty good, back to sleeping well, and happily getting on with life.
However last week I started feeling very anxious. I put it down to PMS,having to have a tooth removed and having an allergic reaction to something I ate. I've been trying to follow all my counsellor has taught me, but I'm really struggling and feeling even more anxiety than ever.
So frustrating!. I start to worry citalopram isn't working for me,then get in a real tizzy.
Perhaps I expect too much of this med...after all it is a tool, not something that automatically erases all thoughts and memories
Sorry for ranting...just nice to be able to vent to all you lovely people.
Sorry you've had a blip it always sucks when that happens. It could have been because of all the things you went through at the time.
I've been on cit 40mg for 11 months now. I still do get anxiety sometimes but instead of all the physical symptoms I got like numbness in the arms, face. Chest pain, dizziness. I get get the anxiety that sits in my chest that's annoying as hell. And I also find if I have a lot on my mind or i have alot to do my head gets cloudy.
Also personal question are you due for your period soon? I find my anxiety flares up for no reason for a couple of days before I get my period.
Hope this helps a little but. Hang in there chick everyone has blips
Recovery comes in patches, starting off an hour here or there, then maybe days, then weeks then months - all interspersed with low feelings and anxiety. Eventually you'll feel well all the time. You can even get the odd anxious/low feeling months and months after you've been feeling well. Yes a blip, but still part of recovery.
Also I think you're right re PMS, tooth removal and allergic reaction - sometimes things can have a knock effect, especially when you are actually still recovering. If I've had the odd low time in the past I can usually find its something that's happened which I hadn't realised at the time. It doesn't happen often now.
When I recovered it took around 3-4 months before I started noticing it, then by 6 months I felt really well and reckon I continued to improve for months after that too with the occasional blip.
I started my period last week,which I think does set my anxiety off. Prior to starting citalopram, I was having monthly panic attacks and it took me ages to put it down to my hormones. Duh.
I've had anxiety for years without really knowing what it was...so I am coming to the realisation that's it's going to take me a fair while to be anxiety free or at least comfortable with it.
It's just really hard when you've been doing pretty well, then have one of these blips. It's like the carpet has been pulled out from under your feet and your confidence has gone flying.
Yes it does doesn't it. I remember recovering and when feeling well I think I could cope with anything, see the anxiety for what it was, think it was behind me - then suddenly when I was back in the hole again all those positive thoughts and confidence went out the window. I'd think I'd never get better, couldn't see the way forward and forgot how it felt to be well. Was an annoying time.
I've read somewhere that blips are an inevitable part of recovery and that you may have hundreds of them on your recovery journey!. Generally they have a cause that can be identified.
Thats interesting - yes they do seem part of recovery and do believe they have a cause - maybe some small upset, teeny stress, lack of sleep, etc - maybe anything that upsets the rhythm? Hundreds? Eeek! I do know though that they get less intense over time.
I've read books by Dr Claire a Weeks eons ago and she describes 'setbacks' which I think are the same thing.
Went and saw my counsellor yesterday, who assures me I am doing well, have great insight and new found knowledge of my anxiety.
Still find it incredibly frustrating that my anxiety is still lurking about, but I don't let it stop me from getting on and doing everything I want to. I just feel like I constantly have a wee fizzy bubble in my stomach!.
Yoga at the beach tomorrow...always a great time to be mindful and give the brain a rest.
I am adding on to this thread since the title would be the same. Last week I had a lot of stress, small family disagreement, my 15 year old cat had to be put down and I needed a biopsy for my thyroid. The week before the car neede major work. I thought I was handling it well but Saturday was nothing but anxiety and upset. Sunday and Monday was marginally better but today I woke up feeling just awful. I am more aware and upset of losing the cat than I realized and I seem to have no confidence and am confused.
22 years ago I had a breakdown and I took lithium which worked well but I don't have any of the manic sides. I am supposed to talk to a psyhciatric nurse since they may have dianogsed with as bi-polar and I am not. That of course is also stressing me out. I guess I just need to know how 'normal' it is that I feel this shaky and out of sorts and feeling negative. I got encouragement from this thread but are these 'blip's really so horrible.
I used to find that when I'd had stressful time, like you, I felt fine at the time, only to find I'd 'crash' a few days later. Out bodies will react. I'm sure this blip will pass.
How long have you been taking Citalopram?
Recovery often comes in waves, so along the route you'll find you'll be up and down. Some days the anxiety can be overwhelming and other times you can feel quite well. Some people have wondered about being bi-polar because of this see-saw effect.
If you've been well for some time, you can still get the occasional blip if you've had a stressful event.
Yes the blips can be awful - during a good spell you kind of forget how bad it is to feel anxious, so when one starts it can feel quite shocking - it's like you've forgotten how bad it can feel.
Im sure it is a blip though ....... things should settle down again in time I'm sure.
Im sorry to hear about your cat. I'm a cat lover (have 2 myself) and I've lost older fur-babies in the past which is quite devastating. One of my current cats is 16 and showing age related signs now ....... :-(
You are such a treasure to have on this site (as are others). I have been on Cit for about 11 weeks 20mg. Doing fairly well along the way balancing out and trying to get out and about. When I am somewhat active, I'm somewhat 'normal' but living alone can be a reality check. If I'm gone I'm trying to do things to introduce myself to the apt. I leave the radio on at home and have the same station on in the car so there is continuity when I arrive. This has happened mostly since the cat is gone. Got a panic attack when I breezed in the apt. forgetting I would not see him. They take up little space physically, but enormous space emotionally so I'm trying to be aware of that. I keep testing myself saying, 'ok, you're over the cat, time to move on' and no sooner than that a few hours later I'm in uncontrollable tears.
I know the nurse is calling to help but I'm one of those people who always feels they are going to judge me and tell me it's all in my head and get over it.
Just an update. I got up the courage after feeling a little bit dizzy to call the Psychiatric nurse and explained about last week and the stress and how I thought she would just tell me to go about my business. (This happened 24 years ago too when I had to go.) I just don't know why I can't give myself a break and understand that these people are there to help. She was more than understanding and listened to me and of course, I began to blubber away. Anyway, I have an appt. June 3 with the psychiatrist and she said to call if there was anything in between. I may need counselling and if that's the case, I will gladly oblige.
That's a good idea leaving the radio on - comforting. Yes it's easy to forget the little fella isn't there, when you've been so used to his presence. It may be early days, but maybe the time will come when you're ready to share your life again with another cat? You never replace your beloved friends, as each one is special. I've lost 4 over the years - all so different, and all so special. I've cried for all of them when I lost them, and felt an empty space when they'd gone.
My current 2 I re-homed, and though I'll never forget my lost fur-babies, having more to care for is a great healer.
Yes, our loving animals certainly make a big dent in our emotions 🐱
11 weeks on the meds is still early days for a lot of people. I also used to find that when I was out and about it really helped a lot - thoug I know this isn't always possible for some people.
Exercise is good too - even a daily walk. Fresh air, and the release of endorphins as we exercise are all good for the body and our emotional well being, whilst waiting for the meds to help you recover.
I'm glad the nurse got in touch with you - she sounds very understanding. I used to find it hard talking about my illness to anyone, even doctors, in case they thought I was weird. Little did I know that there were many others suffering the same as me - I thought I was the only one, and spoke to nobody about it, not even my family or friends. Only my husband. Nobody discussed things like that then.
My son had a melt down 2 years ago and I helped him recover too, and since then I've talk openly about it and that's when I found many people close to me had also suffered! Quite common!
This morning was a bit better wake up. Probably knowing I had made the call yesterday. Yes, there are more of 'us' than we realize. I don't want to be Miss Statistic but UK and US have doubled the use of a-d's in the last ten years, it is almost off the charts now. Canada (where I live) is the third highest country for use, next to Australia and Iceland.
I still have my dog so I do get out for walks each day. I've always been a walker so that helps a bit. I thank you again for your input. I look forward to seeing your contribution. You are very understanding.
Glad yesterday felt easier waking up - hope it continues. Yes making that call has also made you feel more rested - it's so good to have someone you were able to talk to.
Yes so many a-d's are prescribed. Is it because there's more stress around, our being more crowded, what we eat, living in cities, lack of exercise?? So many people seem to be falling foul of this illness........
Canada is is a beautiful country - I've not visited yet, though flew over a small part in January on my way to San Fran (my first visit to the States). I'm in the UK.
Ooh you have a dog! 😄🐶 Walking him everyday is good - exercise for you as well as him!
So I just thought I'd update my visit to the psychiatrist. Of course I was nervous about the whole process but she was very nice. I had an assessment for 1-1/2 hours and it seems I am not bipolar. She said the lithium can work for others things. During the assessment, she asked me a lot of questions. I told her that I have lost my self confidence from the lsat job layoff and mention other things that had happened. She said that I will not go back to work for now and that I will need counselling because of all the losses I've had (I'll spare you the details). What really got to me at the end was when she asked me 'when was the last time I felt safe.' I couldn't come up with an answer and said, 'you mean in a job'. She said, 'no, in anything, when was the last time you felt safe and secure'. I waited a long time to try and think of something and tears began rolling down my face. Couldn't come up with an answer.
Because of this, I seem to be crying more and anxious. She asked me how far along do I think I am on the Cit and I said about 70%. I know she wants to up the cit and take me off the lithium but I guess she is waiting. I will go back in about 3 weeks. I guess It's normal to begin thinking back on the losses and get emotional. My question is when I start therapy in Sept. will I be getting a lot more blips like this. Probably won't be as bad since I will have a counsellor to guide me! Any input would be appreciated.
I'm back again. Last week my friends brother in law was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. I was very sad when it happened but as I said before I'm not sure it has had a bigger effect than I realized. and the funeral was Wed. The last few days have ben just terrible for anxiety that I can't switch off. Now some of my old symptoms are coming back like anger. Maybe it's just the 'loss' again and knowing what his wife will be going through.
Also, last week I thought I noticed a couple of those brain shocks that happen when someone is coming off the cit. I didn't put meaning to as since I wasn't sure. This morning it definitely happened while I was awake and lying in bed and it was loud and clear. Do you think the cit is not working now since both old symptoms and now this brain shock, or is this part of the blip. I will see my psychiatrist next week but this anxiety is hard to handle right now. Any input would be appreciated.