my name is DJ. About 4 years ago i had a horrible experience with a drug.. since that moment my life has been turned upside down.. I am completely depersonalized, and scared.. Mainly when i'm driving, and when I think of the fact that i am a real person, and when things change like getting a new desk for my office or cleaning my room, and almost any related thoughts send me into a horrifying panic.. now let me explain my panic mode. As far as i know it is unlike all others.. My heart doesn't start to beat really fast, I don't start hyper venalating, I don't get the shakes.. What I experience is a sudden flash of real life.. everything suddenly becomes VERY real.. Imagine instantly jumping from a cartoon to a sitcom.. It is the scariest thing ever.. Now this mainly happens when I am in a car, therefore I am almost completely homebound.. I can go about 2 blocks down my road, and that's it. I was a completely outgoing person.. very socially active now I can't leave my own house.. I have been to the doctor multiple times, each time they can not figure out what is wrong with me.. ALSO, it feels like everyday goes by SO fast.. and i can barely remember any of it.. it feels extremely weird talking to people, and I am scared all the time.. I basically live in my room... My memory is horrible I CAN'T REMEMBER YESTERDAY AND I AM ALWAYS SO TIRED.. MY MEMORY IS HORRIBLE.. and I just really need to know what is wrong with me.. Can someone please tell me if they are experiencing anything like I am? Or can someone please tell me what is wrong with me.. thank you.
Hi Thomas, your really need to return to your doctor and ask or insist that
You have more help... have you been assessed by either a psychiatrist or a psychologist... ask to be referred, and also ask to see a diagnostic
Specialist to try to help you find the cause....Do not give up, I wish you
Good luck... take care, sincere regards to you....Deirdre x
Hi DJ, I've been dealing with the same exact symptoms, and you're not alone. I resonate with your issue, especially concerning the doctors. It's quite difficult to get people to consider what you are experiencing legitimate, and even more so to get adequate help, unless they specialize in it. You might want to call around to a variety of psychologists or psychiatrists, and ask if they have ever dealt with a patient has been depersonalized/derealized in the past or if they know anything about it, then choose one to visit regularly based off of who knows the most. I think you already know this, but it sounds like you're suffering from depersonalization/derealization. Usually, it's caused by a stressful trigger event (like the death of a family memeber or friend, serious breakup, or car crash), or even more likely, by drugs, like in your case. Some popular theories (which may be totally incorrect, so take my words with a grain of salt) propose that your body doesn't know how to respond to all of the stress, and it wants to prevent you from feeling it, so in the process of trying to block out negative or overwhelming sensations, something goes wrong, and you begin to feel seperated from reality as a whole, instead of just from your feelings. So dp is sort of like a defense mechanism gone wrong. I seriously recommend trying to think your way through it, if that doesn't make you panic more. Whenever I start to have a panic attack/moment like you described, I acknowledge the feeling, and then try to dissect it and think seperately from the situation. It probably sounds blunt and unfeeling, which may not work for you, but I wanted to share just in case. I really hope that you improve, and that you find a counselor who can give you the information and advice that you are looking for. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.
Hey DJ,
may an I ask what drug it was? I've thought that I struggled with derealization disorder before. I too was super outgoing and loved talking and meeting new people. Now I'm always super exhausted and feel super awkward all the time, I feel like I can't connect with people anymore. I'm too in my head. I used to mess around with a lot of mdma.. I think it messed up my chemicals in my brain or someng,I used to suffer from horrible aching headaches felt like lesions on my brain or something idk,