So I have been accused of being self obsword by someone extremely close too me, which has broke my heart. I have really bad chronic anxiety and am extremely depressed right now. I'm seeing a specialist on Monday and a cardiologist the week after. This has been weighing heavily on me as I can't help but worry no matter how hard I try to distract myself, I find it really hard to enjoy things, everything seems to become too much for me lately and I break down.
So this has led to a bit of a horrible discussion, I was out with this person and I couldn't relax at all, I was having panic attacks left right and centre and just closed up. I hardly spoke or made any sort of conversation and couldn't keep still, it was horrendous, then all of a sudden they turned around and said ''It must be so good to be so self obsord, and not care about anyone else but yourself'' I was so shocked and froze. I tried so hard to try and enjoy myself but couldn't. That's all I seem to have lately is people of accusing me of things like being a liar, an attention seeker and now this.
Why would I make myself feel like this on purpose? Why are people so horrible when it comes to mental health? 😥
I'm actually really proud of myself for even being in large crowds, I was fighting back, despite feeling so terrible. I fought all day long! And so hard too. They know how hard things have been this past month. I feel like everybody is turning against me. The only person who I can talk too about it is my dad. 😥
I'm really sad to hear this - you took a big step forward going out and being around people, it is so tiring dealing with anxiety and some people just don't understand this, simply because they have not experienced it and so they believe that you are overreacting for attention when it is really quite the opposite!
Be proud of youself, you did extremely well putting yourself in that situation and I hope you can carry on putting yourself out there. Focus on yourself, in the case of mental illnesses you are not being selfish, you need to put yourself first and get help.
I'm sorry that nobody is helping you but I am glad you have your dad at least and you have everyone on this site too
i echo the the excellent words of Fee25 and to would give you a massive hug for being so strong and taking such a massive step. As for the attitude of your friend we have all had simular experiences and nothing harms recovery like a 'friend' treating you like dirt. But you are here and we care and understand, you have your Dad and most importantly you have accepted your illness. I hid mine for 30 years and let it eat me up, now I'm proud of my illness, I talk about it openly because not only do I find it therapeutic but the more we talk the more people will stop treating us like second class citizens.
stay strong, know that you are loved and hold your head high
Wow! How can ANYONE let alone a"close" friend say such a thing?? You are worried about your health......i bet your "friend" would be worried if it was their health!! you can talk to any of us on this site (we understand how your feeling.
If this person is close to you, knows what you're dealing with and still brings it up negatively, then you need them out of your life: or at least a serious talking to. People who don't suffer with mental health issues sometimes find it very difficult to understand and lash out. My mum was like this and used to scream at me when I cried about meaningless things. I sat her down and explained that I can't help it and any form of nastiness can make it worse. She doesn't understand still (I don't expect her to) but she knows how to react when I'm clearly suffering.
However my ex boyfriend, who I loved so very much, did know how it felt for me but still talked to me like your close person has spoke to you. I had to let him go and although it hurt and still hurts a lot, it hurts less than having a poisonous influence around.
You need to analyse the situation and think back to how they have treated you regarding anxiety and make a smart choice on how to deal with them. No matter what you're going through or what you're dealing with, nobody is allowed to make you feel like sh*t.
Thank you all so much for your replies. Really means a lot to know I'm not alone in this.
I've had to put up with so much grief from people, from work colleagues to even family, just because I'm going through a rough patch in my life. I find it makes your recovery all the more harder when people start icesalating you, and start passing judgement.
I made such a big step the other day, by going to London on a manic day of all days and even going to a concert at night being surrounded by thousands of people. Only to be shot down. It just makes me so mad. Can't win either way. People make me sick. 😡 Xx
My sister has this morning that she doesn't want to be around me anymore just in case I trigger her "depression" off, things just keep getting worse. ðŸ˜ðŸ’”
Yes you should be proud of yourself because life with anxiety and depression is so very hard. I have broken down in front of people, but luckily I have found most people do understand. It is very embarrasing though.
I am sorry your friend was so unfeeling. People who have not been through it don't understand anxiety and panic attacks. I completely understand how upset you were, I would be too. Very hurtful.
I can quite understand your anxiety at seeing a specialist about your heart. I do hope everything goes well. Keep us up to date.
Many people do not understand mental health at all. That is a shame and I wish people could be educated about it.
You are a fighter, and I am proud of you. I have battled long and hard, as you do, and many of us here. We all understand. I am glad your Dad is understanding, that must be a comfort.
Hello David. I have had depression a long time like you. I have never hidden it, but it has caused me to lose a great deal in my life, but like you, I battle on.
Yes I too talk openly to people and hope that that way they will have more understanding of mental illness. I am so glad you and I are in the same frame of mind. I do find people find it awkward sometimes. i remember having a big bout of depression for months, and when I went back to a life, people did not ask me how I was, like they would if I had been physically ill, but did not say anything at all. I think people find it difficult to say "how are you" "do you feel better" to someone who has depression.
Take care. You sound a really nice person who cares.
Hi I am not excusing your friend but maybe they had had an awful day or something had really upset them and they wanted to talk to you about it. Maybe they felt they couldn't because of the state you were in and took it out on you. This is not right but everyone is human. If they are as close to you as you say then you ought to be able to sit down and discuss it shouldn't you? If not then maybe you are not as close as you think?
I can sit down and discuss anything with my true friends as they know me inside out and me them. I am not saying you did, but I am aware of trying not to overwhelm any of them with my depression and often chatting about their problems or other things helps to lift me anyway. I don't expect them to know how I am feeling and if I feel very low I can say so and that's fine.
Often just wanting to talk about it is self defeating and doesn't make me feel better anyway. x
Keep talking to your dad or us on here, if youve never suffered from depression you cant really understand it totally.
Im guilty of this myself,my mum has always suffered and it used to drive me nuts,i just wanted her to snap out of it and be herself again. Now i understand and feel terrible although i was never mean or said anything to her like your friend has.
If she cant be there to help you and keep her thoughts to herself then shes not a very good friend and isnt worth worrying about..You just get yoursef better...keep taking and your get there
Hiya, no nothing was wrong with my friend, she's scared for me as she's not use to seeing me like this. Before all this, I was such a happy outgoing person, nothing scared me, full of life. So this is a bit alien to her and to everyone else. Everything has sorted itself out now though. ☺X
I've had bouts on/off since I was 14, I've never suffered with it this bad before plus a number of other things have surfaced like GAD, PTSD and OCD, so its a lot to handle. I'm not surprised mind, its been a terrible 2 years, deaths in the family, I quit my job last month because I couldn't handle it and I was having problems with co-workers, so its been one thing after another. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow, so hopefully I will get a better understanding of all this. And then a cardiologist next week, that's the one that has been weighing in my mind and giving me the most anxiety, so maybe once I get it into my head there's nothing wrong with my heart, everything will fall into place. As for my friend, everything's OK now, but haven't really spoken much too her, few other thingswere said too so I'm just going to leave her for a while.
I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow, I don't really know what to expect, is it sad that I'm excited? 😂 Xx
Will be interested to hear how you got on with the psychiatrist. Hope they can help. so sorry you have been through so much, and glad you are now seeing your friend again.
Yes it will be a relief to get the appointment with the cardiologist out of the way. That must be a big worry for you.
No it is not sad that you are exited because you have high hopes that you will get the help you need.
Dear Arya, you should be proud of yourself!! It's amazing, brave and strong to take a steps forward like that. It's awful when people don't understand and say extremely unhelpful comments especially if they are close to you. It is not your fault. You did not choose to be like this. The persons comment shows more about them than you. Perhaps that person is insecure,feeling neglected.... I don't know. But what I do know is that you are not self absorbed. It is a horrible thought , that it's you against the world. I don't think its the case. Me and the other 17 people who replied, send you love and support for you to get better. And if course your dad. 😊
I think you captured it perfectly and Arya Lily is right we are here for you, stay strong,myou are amazing just like all the rest of us. We didn't chose out illness but we live our lives with it. We are no better than anyone else but we sure as heck are not worse.