Is this an external hemorrhoid?

I've been having some digestive issues (possible stomach ulcer, diarrhea, etc).. and about a week ago I was straining to get stuff out and it wasnt moving easily, after it was out I noticed a hard lump around the anus entrance (about the size of a pea).. It didn't really hurt, felt a bit tender, felt like that for a few days, made it hard to wipe... then this week it felt smaller and like it was about to go away but was still there somewhat. today had to push a bit more again and its back out larger again.

Almost sounds like a hemorrhoid to me?

Yes, sounds that way

You've aggreviated your hemorrhoid with your inability to pass.  I recommend that you start eating your veggies in sufficient quantity to increase your regularity.  Inexpensive and effective veggie like cabbage does wonders for your difficult passage without further herbal or medicinal intervention.  Once your ahve achieved "regularity" your anus will really thank you. 

Try eating more fibre and use a stool softener.  Use ice to shrink the swelling.  If it is a pile, it should heal.

well its been a while not and it seems like it is shrinking, not gone yet but definitly smaller

I have also found that immediately after the stool passage, a sit-down rest to give the extended anus muscle an opportunity to pop back in, is very helpful in reducing aggravation.  You'll feel it when the muscle retracts.  

well it went almost completely away now, at least can't fell anything where it was... so appears to of been a hemorid

If its worth seeing your doc he can give you a prescription that can help shrink them. Really better to see a doc it could be many other things. Helps to be sure u less you had a diagnosis in the past.