I'm 22 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 18 - I never continued my 40mg citalopram due to genuinely not really believing I was depressed or needed meds. Due to numerous break downs and having to force myself I went to the GP last month to talk to them and they put me back on the same thing.
Not once have I ever been asked to do anything about how I feel, it's as though I walked in and they kind of fobbed me off and they don't really care or are bothered about the root cause, because I have no idea, and I think it could genuinely help me. I'm a student so I can't afford to see anyone private.
I feel myself getting worse, infact this has gone on severely for maybe a year now to the point where I feel like I'm completely empty, it's as though I don't even think or have a brain all day, I have no motivation, no nothing to do anything with my life. I have a boyfriend of 2 years and our relationship isn't in danger but it's like I don't care? Like I said it's like nothing is in my mind, I don't think I'm just empty. It's literally impossible to get to sleep AND stay asleep
I have no motivation to see friends, family or go out - I hate being on my own but I find myself laid in bed and all of a sudden it's like I've woken up and it's been hours and I've genuinely done nothing, I could have the TV on and I couldn't tell you one thing I've watched.
Generally I have no motivation to do anything, I can't get up in a morning, I've always loved makeup, hair extensions and dressing nice and I've literally given up on myself. I can't bring myself to get out of bed let alone "put a face on" and go out. My moods are like a roller coaster and I'm so snappy. But I feel like I have no reason and no right to feel and act this way. I'm ashamed. I don't know what to do.
Sounds like depression, Rocky. Best to go to the doc and ask for therapy as well as an antidepressant (which also should help you sleep). Depression is one of those things that sneak up on you and then BAM, you cannot get out of bed. It is almost impossible to cure yourself so do get some help. I know you want to isolate but do try to get out for some amount of time for a little sunlight. Hang in there. You are truly not alone. 😎
Many of us feel ashamed about our depression especially if we don't really understand why .
I wonder what YOU think is going on why you don't think this is depression? It does sound like it to me!
Loss of motivation, difficulty sleeping, lack of enjoyment in activities are all key depression symptoms.
But, talking therapies are usually helpful as well as medication so it's probably worth asking for a referral for some counselling.
Also, if the citalapram doesn't help lift your mood after 2-4 weeks you may need to be on a higher dose or even a different medication. I didn't get much benefit from meds until I tried venlafaxine. Suddenly I felt totally different it was amazing !
Once you feel a bit better you may be able to look at what's contributed to this state of mind... Often our thought patterns, coping mechanisms and life circumstances have a big impact on how we feel even if they aren't immediately apparent .
You need to find a therapist that will charge you on a sliding scale. They're out there, you just have to look. I've been where you're at, and it stinks! First thing first: Do NOT be ashamed of yourself! It sounds like you're depressed. I'm not a doctor, but I've been depressed many times in my life. Take it one small step at a time. Like make yourself take a small walk before lying in bed watching TV. The fresh air will help. The exercise will help you sleep. Write me back if you want. Hugs, Leah
Definitely sounds like depression to me. I've battled with it for the last 20 years, and this last month it's come back with a vengence due to hormone issues. You definitely need to take some medication for it as that's the first step. No amount of talking therapy can change your brain chemicals to make you feel better, so get back to the docs, get those meds and hang on for a few weeks, it'll definitely start to make you feel better. Promise. I've been there and I'm hoping to get help very soon again soon as my meds aren't working any more for me. Take care xxx