Is this normal?

Treatment and medication
1

After months, more than a couple of years even, of trying to pick myself up on my own, I could feel myself feeling more deeply down lately, with no way out, and just no light at all. Sparked by losing my father, break up of a 14 year marriage 6 weeks later, and then my mother being sectioned with vascular dememntia - along with so much 'normal' crap, I dragged, forced myself to my Dr on Monday morning this week.

I have not been sleeping much at all, certainly not a whole night for as long as I can remember, but my real worry is I can usually pull myself out and up, but I just cant anymore.

My Dr has given me fluoxetine 20mg, and told me to take 1 every morning. So I started yesterday morning. My Dr knows I have to drive 70 miles to work, and then same home at night. I took the tablet about 6.30am, as I leave for work ay 7am. I must have been half way there when suddenly I realised I was really struggling to keep my eyes open. Really badly trying to stay awake at the wheel - this happens driving home occasionally, but never has driving to work. I had a 'thick' headache all day, felt a bit spaced out, and was extremely tired the whole time. I didnt know whether to change and take at night, but decided that after just one day I best do what the Dr says.

This morning I slept through my alarm, not waking until 7.06am, me and the kids were so late! But that is good, I slept the whole night from just after midnight.

I took another tablet this morning - same effect driving to work, do you think this will pass? Am I just totally exhausted from not sleeping for years really? And from all the emotional stuff that's happeneing?

I still feel really down (I would it's only 2 days in) But least im getting out of bed and going to work. I so feel like giving up on it all, everything, but then I'd lose my home and everything.

Should I carry on with taking these in the morning?

2

Hi Suzisue,

I can't imagine loosing a parent and I think you are doing extremely well holding up with that, your marriage breakdown and the situation with your mum.

My marriage brokedown after 7 years together and I just blanked it out, only to deal with it about 6 months later when it really messed me up. Anyway, we're talking about you, not me.

I take my 20mg Fluoxetine before bedtime as they knock me out and I can feel the effect of them about 30 minutes after taking them. This is my second week, day 12 I think, and I'm managing to sleep from about 10:30pm till about 7am, with the compulsary loo visit in the middle! The first few days I felt sick, dizzy, dry mouthed and just like my head was somewhere else. I was convinced I didn't need these pills and so immediately had an attitude to taking them. Now week 2 and things have calmed down exept the tirdeness and a slight sick feeling in the morning when I wake, but that soon subsides.

I say stick with it for now as it will be better next week. I think you must be really strong to handle everything you do and it may not seem like it at the time, but things happen for a reason. I met a wonderful man after my marriage breakdown, it took ages to let myself relax with him and let myself love again, especially as I have a small boy of 7 but things are looking up.

I hope you're okay. Can you not put a few lui days in at work, just till you get used to the tablets and do you have any family that can help you with the kids for now? Don't be too proud to speak to your close loved ones, I ended up telling my folks I was on these pills, my dad initially laughed and thought it was a joke but I stood my ground and said I need help and I need someone to talk too. They are both being fully supportive without patronising and that is lifting my mood and hopes that I won't need these pills after a few months and certainly won't need to up the dosage.

I've wrote for ages now so best go, but don't give up hope, you have your children who love you immensley even though may not show it and they need you as does your mum and I'm sure your circle of friends. I bet they'd be devastated to find out you felt this way and didn't ask them for help, afterall, you'd probably want them to come to you if it were the other way around.

Hope this helps, keep positive, I know it's hard but it'll work out in the end.

Ang :-)

3

Hi there, I always take my tablets at night so that I sleep through the side effects of them.

i tried taking them in the mornings to begin with but they just made me feel really ill.

Hope this helps, my heart goes out to you with what you are going through. Although you probably dont feel it right now I can tell that you are a really strong person inside.

Much love

Jayne

4

Aw Ang and Jayne - thank you so much for replying to me. I think you're both right about taking them at night. This is my third day, and I am still falling asleep driving to work - I do feel calm all day though, but still want to break down in tears inside, I think I feel calm cos I have no energy!

So, should I ask my Dr if i should start taking them at night?

Ang - my parents (esp my Dad) were dead set against things like anti depressents. I guess that's why I was so determined to do this myself - they brought me up to believe it's pathetic to feel down and depressed, so I tried so hard not to be.

But my Dr said to me, why would they prescribe them if they thought they wouldn't help. It's all new - I know exactly how you feel. You are so lucky that your Mum and Dad are being supportive now, and I am so glad you met someone lovely.

It is sad to feel so down that you feel useless and unlovable. That is how im feeling. Gutted esp tonight.

Ever since I was a little girl, my biggest nightmare, fear, was losing my Mum and Dad. (I'm 41 btw). I love them so much. Sometimes I think I'm a bit wierd cos I could never let go of them - even in my marriage they were always my heart and soul and real love. I dont think they ever snipped the umbilical cord! LOL!

I appreciate so much your kind help, and I understand how you're feeling, I guess we feel pretty much the same really. SH**! I know it's only been 3 days, but I do hope these kick in soon. Every day the walls feel like they're caving in on me. More and more, deeper and deeper. My Mum is in a horrible hospital - it's just awful that old people are given such low priority. The hospital is an awful place - My son is 16 and I dropped him and his g friend at a restaurant tonight for Valentines, then I went to see Mum (as I do most nights). I took her some lovely Valentines chocolates. I made her smile. Some man kciked off in there, this is no place for placid people - where there are angry people that lash out. I can honestly say, there is no lonlier place in the whole world, than walking out of that place in the cold and dark at 8pm at night, having been the only visitor in the whole place, all alone, with no one to give u a cuddle or support, or just to be there. I cant let my kids see me feeling like this. I just feel like I wanna break down, I cant see a future anymore. I cant even help my Mum, and i am knackered beyond belief. Im trying so hard to do everything for the kids, but im falling apart really.

How long will it take until I can turn a corner? Instead of nose diving in to hell?

I'd like to hear about you Ang - you've only been on them 10 days and you're feeling a bit better aren't you? That'll keep me going xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

5

Hi there and morning to you :-)

It really makes no difference if you take these day or night, they have the same effect overall, just taking them on a night allows you to, as Jayne said also, sleep through the side effects. I changed mid-first week to taking them on a night as I was a zombie and emotional. Now, I have energy from when I have breakfast (as must get that sick feeling away that I wake up with) and I'm okay till about tea-time. After that, I start feeling low and everything is an effort so a little exercise kind of keeps me going for a bit longer. I'm them totally useless come 9:30pm + and take the dreaded little pill just before I get into bed.

Week 3 coming up on Monday and I am feeling much calmer, (probably because I'm tired!) and can carry on working without my work colleagues knowing something is up. It's kind of taboo letting folk know you're on anti-depressants. I'd always and wrongly, associated them with folk who were just so miserable and given up on life, even possibly a bit physcotic but that was all a bad preconception I had.

We're normal people who just need a little support, a shoulder to rest on and a good ear to listen to us, a nice pair of arms to give us a hug and a lovely cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and squirty cream to warm us up inside :lol:

There is nothing weird about you being so close to your parents, that sounds to me as a testiment to how much they love you and vice versa. I too am close to my parents, especially my mum who is like my sister and I don't know what I'd do if I lost her, or my dad I suppose. As for your dads feelings, rest his soul, about pills being pathetic, I do feel that generally this is not only a man thing but also a pride and age thing. I mean how many men do you know go to the doctors anyway? In the 'olden' days, they'd have a shot of whisky, cod liver oil and a hot bath, no pills!

I don't know how long it will take for you to turn a corner, I just hope that by being able to chat (including chatting to me anytime :-) ) that you can relieve some of that sadness inside and start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I started to feel down about 2001 when my son was born. I know it's not post-natal depression, it was the fact that my husband back then was never around, his family weren't supportive and my family were 200 miles away (I moved to Scotland). I was basically alone and had no-one to talk to. Over the years, things didn't improve and I was basically a single mum; I love my son beyond comprehension. Anyway, when the marriage broke down after 5 months (we were married May 2005 after 7 years of being together) in September 2005 as he met someone else, my whole world fell apart and I moved back home to England in Dec 05. I just felt down, moody and inwards.

I started a new job, put on a smiley happy face for work colleagues and friends but then when I came home, just so miserable and low, snappy and moody.

Meeting my partner the following year, I did the same and pretended I was 'normal' and acted all happy and stuff, but again, would slump into my old self when I got back home. After moving in together a year later, my true self came out and only now after asking him to leave more times than I can count, I decided I needed help. I was hurting him, myself, my parents and my son was the only one I showed love to.

I'm almost at my third week and it's no miracle, but I'm calming down a bit and making an effort to be more social and happy. I know I have at least a few months on these tablets yet plus I need to phone and make my appointment for the physcologist.

Does your son know you feel this way? Will he respond if you chat to him?

I can't imagine seeing your mum in that place and I know it must be so difficult for you having to work full time so you can't take care of her fully. You can only do what you do you are not WonderWoman! Just think, those hours you spend with your mum brings her happin

6

Hi there,

Im sure you will start to feel better soon, it does take time for them to start working. Before you know it you will start to feel brighter.

I was on Sertraline before the fluoxetine and didnt feel this helped at all.

I dont know why I feel the way I do. I have a wonderful husband and 4 gorgeous children. I just feel so useless at everything and am always just so tired. I feel such a failure.

Jayne xx

7

I have been taking Fluoxetine for nearly a year now,when i first had my breakdown,i had to take tranquilisers for a few weeks because the fluoxetine takes about a month to start working,and you feel a lot worse before you feel better, although some people react differantly to the medication,i haven't had one good nights sleep since starting them,but having said that i wouldnt do without them or should i say couldnt do without them,i have asked my doctor if i could stop taking them but he has said i will have to keep taking them for at least another six months,you see i still have this awfull feeling in my stomach it is there when i go to bed and it is there when i get up,and the only way i manage is by keeping myself busyif i am feeling really anxious i put my shoes on and go for a long walk or i have to keep myself busy,i also lost about a stone in weight but over time i have put it back on again and i feel hungry all the time.

But i would give it time to work it does take more than a couple of days to get into the system so keep you chin up keep busy and get out in the fresh air and breathe in all that fresh energy,good luck and i hope you feel better soon if i can help please post.

8

I still feel so down

Every day is just getting harder

Im just not strong enough anymore to do anything about it

Im shaking, and cant cope anymore

9

Jayne louise

I've been sitting here ages reading the posts - looking at my own posts - realising I dont feel any better, not one bit, just NEED something to spark my fire out of this place I am in.

I read your post, again, and just thought, bless you so much, it must be so hard with 4 kids - you know you're husband is lovely - u say he is - so that must mean it's something in you that's not right, like me, I thought I needed someone for support, but maybe that isn't what it's all about. It's got to come from inside us - from inside you and inside me. Are you finding that the fluoxetine is starting to make you feel more positive? I have so many doubts now, I feel like I've been to hell, and I dont feel I'm out of there yet - pls post again and let me know how you are. This is my 16th day I think, I'm struggling at work now. I hope you're OK, can you maybe post something so I know you are?

10

[quote:a5944f85d9=\"Hi, I'm Ang\"]Hi Suzisue,

I can't imagine loosing a parent and I think you are doing extremely well holding up with that, your marriage breakdown and the situation with your mum.

My marriage brokedown after 7 years together and I just blanked it out, only to deal with it about 6 months later when it really messed me up. Anyway, we're talking about you, not me.

I take my 20mg Fluoxetine before bedtime as they knock me out and I can feel the effect of them about 30 minutes after taking them. This is my second week, day 12 I think, and I'm managing to sleep from about 10:30pm till about 7am, with the compulsary loo visit in the middle! The first few days I felt sick, dizzy, dry mouthed and just like my head was somewhere else. I was convinced I didn't need these pills and so immediately had an attitude to taking them. Now week 2 and things have calmed down exept the tirdeness and a slight sick feeling in the morning when I wake, but that soon subsides.

I say stick with it for now as it will be better next week. I think you must be really strong to handle everything you do and it may not seem like it at the time, but things happen for a reason. I met a wonderful man after my marriage breakdown, it took ages to let myself relax with him and let myself love again, especially as I have a small boy of 7 but things are looking up.

I hope you're okay. Can you not put a few lui days in at work, just till you get used to the tablets and do you have any family that can help you with the kids for now? Don't be too proud to speak to your close loved ones, I ended up telling my folks I was on these pills, my dad initially laughed and thought it was a joke but I stood my ground and said I need help and I need someone to talk too. They are both being fully supportive without patronising and that is lifting my mood and hopes that I won't need these pills after a few months and certainly won't need to up the dosage.

I've wrote for ages now so best go, but don't give up hope, you have your children who love you immensley even though may not show it and they need you as does your mum and I'm sure your circle of friends. I bet they'd be devastated to find out you felt this way and didn't ask them for help, afterall, you'd probably want them to come to you if it were the other way around.

Hope this helps, keep positive, I know it's hard but it'll work out in the end.

Ang :-)