Is this normal?

General health and lifestyle
1

hi.

ive had a few problems in my life that have lead to excessive alcohol consumption. But I don't know if what I've been through is normal life or excessive?

please help me to understand what I am going through.

when I was 7 I was sexually abused by an older boy up the road,

when I was 11 I was sexually abused by a gang of about 14 youths.

when I was 17 I was pulled off a train by a gang of gypsies and beaten up, to the extent that they took my clothes and pulled my hair out.

when I was 23 my partner threw me down the stairs with my 6 month old daughter in my arms, cut my hair off and put a knife in my face.

he then left the country. 

I was left with all his debt. To cut a long story short I ended up suing my solicitor for negligence and won. But it took years,

in the meantime I met a man who I worshipped. 

He loved me and my daughter who was 3 at the time.

i was diagnosed with stage 3 (cin3) precancerous cells on my cervix. 

I had treatment and lost 90% of my cervix.

i then had endometriosis. I was diagnosed after 5 years and had laser treatment.  After trying unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant I went through IVF treatment. I eventually got pregnant.

in the meantime my husband, who I had put on a pedestal, turned to pornography. Mostly women with big tits. I have a small breast. Also teenage girls in uniform.

that made me feel sick.

but I think that's normal???? Or so he said.

during this time, I was studying for my final exams to become a chartered accountant. It was hard. My husband had just qualified as a chartered surveyor, and life would have been good. But he decided he didn't want to be surveyor so he joined the police.

 

2

Continuation.

he joined the police just at the time when I was doing my final exams.

i was studying 20 hours a day. Our daughter was at school and our son who was 2 was at nursery. So when they'd both gone to bed I would stay up all night studying. My husband was in Coventry learning to be a police officer. When he came home at the weekend, he wanted me to switch off from family life and studying and become a sex slave. 

I couldn't do this. It wasn't in my nature.

i need to feel loved and wanted to have sex, not an object.

during this time, my husband completely disowned our daughter. Ok so she wasn't his, but he'd brought her up from the age of 3 and had adopted her at the age of 7 when we got married. He was brilliant with her until our son was born. She was 10 and was so proud to be a big sister

.when he qualified as a police officer he changed.

he changed personality.

he became a bully.

 

3

Continuation again.

all of a sudden, the laid back, loving husband I had found became an ogre. He had a terrible temper, he started texting women from work with sexual content, and said I was a frigid cow for complaining.

he completely ignored our daughter. Don't forget she wasn't his but he had adopted her. He put coins in her straighteners so they wouldn't work and broke her bedroom radiator so it was cold. When I discovered what he'd done he acknowledged the fact by throwing her computer down the stairs and by hitting me. 

I dared to laugh at him and he hit me more.

i finally decided I'd had enough after he raped me.

he did it continually. Even on holiday with friends. I couldn't say anything cos he was a copper.

they covered it up.

that went on for 2 years. Eventually, a female police officer believed me. She charged him and he was supposedly put in gardening,leave. The CPS wrote to me about a year later. Apparently, although I had given a very compelllling interview, my word was not enough and the case was dropped. I tried to kill myself afterwards.

 

,

4

I tried to kill myself 4 times. Ok, some of them were a cry for help, but at least 2 were real. But it didn't work. 

I,lost custody of my son. I was so depressed I couldn't go to court to fight for him. But even so, the times I had been before, the judge had already made her decision. Because my hussband was a police officer, his word was gospel. They believed everything he said. 

5

Im ok noĊµ though. I have my son every weekend and all the school holidays. He loves me so much and I love him more. We are so loving together.  I know that in time he will want to spend his weekends with friends and girls and doing teenage stuff but do you know what?

he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you joe. You are my saviour. Xxxxxxx

 

 

6

I am always awestruck when I hear stories like this by the strength and courage you have shown. So glad you sound like you have come out the other side. It's an inspiration as you will be to your children. You will always have that special bond with them even as they grow up and there is no greater pleasure than watching them grow up. I'm sure you'll overcome your problems with drink as you've overcome so many other things. Please keep posting and let us know. X

7

Hi, I've just had my results from biopsy, it said I have CIN3, I phoned and asked they said I have to have an operation to remove pre cancerous cells, it all started off with my vulva been really sore and I was get open sores on my vulva. I have got herpes. I also use to drink alot. Sorry your life has been so crap. I'm just 60.