Hello again everyone who uses these forums. Its been two years since I posted and I am still alive but I am still not living.
I have left my job as I am unable to do it. Receive no benefits or anything like that ,as we are the forgotten many who do not wish to be ill, cannot get better but are desparate to be better and have our lives back - anyway before I go into a rant, I will stop.
I am very lucky that I have skill set which means I can take on freelance work when I am well enough and that plus credit cards has just about paid my half of the rent and bills these last 2 years.
After two (or maybe even 3 years) of constant sertraline and pregablin use I have reached a level of bareableness. I eat, I sleep, I exist. I am not happy, content, bubbly, out-going or adventurous. I am most certainly not ME. But, my contemplation of suicide is much less. My ability to put on a fake front of wellness is better and I am not fighting myself to get back to work as that door has been well and truly slammed shut in my face - thanks anxiety/depression raging in combination through brain and body. Why can't you just f*** off please.
Which brings me to Vortioxetine. There are very few reviews anywhere and those which I have read are mostly horrific. The thing is you are much more like to review something when you have a bad experience and the few reviews out there that are good are literally like THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER, I AM ME AGAIN, I AM ALIVE AND HAVE ENERGY AND HAVE LOST ALL THE WEIGHT THAT OTHER DRUGS MADE ME GAIN!!!!!!! So when it works it must be really good.
Its only really been about a couple of years and my psychiatrist has only just attended a conference on it and my CPN had never even heard of it. Anyway, they both are now desparate for me to give it a go as life is bareable but pretty close to the line between bareable and better off dead. They think I should be able to be made much better.
There are minimal reviews on here as you would expect from a new drug but I would love to hear from anyone who is on it/ has been on it. Ideally not horror stories - people that have got through the initial horrific side affects bit and given it a real good go for a few months or more.
I am not sure anyone has had that level of experience with it yet so I would also love to hear if people think I should rock the boat for a chance of returning to normality (or possibly death if it doesn't work and I end back in that awful place). Or do I accept I am broken and cannot be fixed so I should live my life on the edge of the abyss hoping I don't fall and hoping one day my head will work like it used to and carry on with good old sertraline.
Thanks all for your support, thoughts and opinions