It's been 6 years and counting

I'm not sure what i'm supposed to say so i'll give a brief account of how i've been and hope that's enough.

Years ago i moved to the other side of the country after a break up. I or more accurately we had friends over here. 2 months after moving those friends moved to Glasgow, where i'd just came from. I was left here.

When they left i fell into a solo routine, lost my job and pretty much holed myself up. I became a recluse which i still am today. I have no contact with the outside world other than the days i build myself up to go to the shop on the corner.

It's been 6 years now and i don't know how to get out of it.

Firstly well done for going out to the corner shop, it must be awful to think that you can't go any further. I have less than5 people I would class as friends ad none of them live within 80 miles of where I live. I have never had any friends growing up and so have always been massively independant even to the point of if I didnt have to go to work, university, school, etc then I wouldn't. 

I know you may have heard about all of this before but some suggestions that could possibly help not only in getting out further than the corner shop, but also meeting new people. 

1) Instead of going inside the shop when you reach it, take 5 steps past the door way. Stop, breathe, take another step if you feel up to it. If not, turn around SLOWLY and walk into the shop. Each time you go to the shop make a point of going an extra 5 steps, turning around then going into the shop. If you reach another shop, whatever it may be, go inside and look around. Remember you don't have to buy anything. If it helps keep a record of hw many steps or where you walked too each time. Listen to music on your phone / ipod while going to the shop as this has been proved to distract people, and you may get further than you think.

2) look at online courses to take or at the local college. Giving you something positive to do and focus on and increases interaction with other people regularly on a small scale.

Hope this helps 

Hello Steven.

Can I first say that you have come to the right place. We are all friends here and do our best to help. This is a wonderful place for support and reassurance and I really don't know how I would of got through the last few months without it.

Im so sorry to hear of your situation. Anxiety is hard enough to deal with when you have people around you but it must be very scary dealing with it alone. I know it can be very overwhelming but now you have reached out and that's the first step. Realising you need help and support.

Im not sure if you have spoken to the doctor,maybe you are too scared to go out to the surgery but they do phone appointments where you can explain all you need to and have the benefit of that little extra support.

Are you in touch with family? Are they reachable in a way that you could ask for help?  The friends that moved to Scotland,are you still in touch with them? Not to ask for help but just the odd phone call now and then can make you feel less isolated and keep you in touch with the outside world until you are strong enough to venture further afield.

You deserve a life Steven and you owe it to yourself to get what you deserve. You are clearly very unhappy and lonely. I know that feeling too.

I promise you that if you make the tiniest steps,,it's worth it!! Them little steps become bigger steps and with each step your confidence grows. It's not easy. You have to dig deep and face fears and step out of your safe place but the sense of pride you feel when you achieve each little thing is quite special.

Believe in yourself. Trust yourself because you really can. 

We are here any time you need to talk.

Why not try....just maybe you could go to a different shop,,a little further away...It's just a thought and I know it's hard but something to think about smile xx

how about some counselling to sort out the agrophobia.

Rich