Hi folks! I've suffered from anxiety and depression nearly my whole life. It has always effected how I feel about work, and most jobs I've had I find myself throwing up every morning and just an anxious wreck. Still, somehow I managed to earn a master's degree in education. I taught for two years, of course with extreme anxiety, and when I got laid off due to cutbacks, I made the decision to not go back. I've been running my own small business from home but last summer, the stress and anxiety became so much that I suffered from exhaustion and fell deeply depressed. I'm now starting over (again) but am feeling scared and frustrated at the thought of falling into the same cycle and/or being able to find a job that interests me while not being too stressful. Im an extremely hard worker and very motivated and goal driven, but seem to always get tripped up by anxiety. Guess I'm looking for words of encouragement or success stories of ppl with anxiety that have found a way to make work 'work' for them. TIA.
Hey LittleAnj, not sure if I'd count as a 'success story' but I can relate to what you're going through I think, as I too have struggled with anxiety my whole adult life and it affects my work. I too am very hard working, motivated and intelligent, but anxiety trips me up, frankly it's debilitating. I guess it's important for people like us to still be able to recognise that we do a good job, despite our issues. I'm in the process of making work 'work' for me at the moment, after a pretty severe burnout last year. Basically I've cut my hours down, and stopped putting pressure on myself to get promoted, as I found the whole process far too stressful. I do feel that I'm now in a position where I'm doing a job that's as close to what I enjoy doing as possible, and that I have more clarity about what makes me happy in a job (stability, community, and autonomy!). On a side note I was also in teaching for a year and a half, as incredible as some shining moments were, on the whole I found it hugely traumatic. Have been recovering from the experience (and trying to do this new job) for a good few years now.
Thanks, holly. I would definitely count that as a success! Sounds like you have really determined was works for you as far as a career goes. I'm still in the stage of trying to think of things that will even appeal to me. I guess I'm struggling with a bit of an ego, or thoughts of what I SHOULD be doing. I often think that I should be doing X job for $X, but people without severe mental health issues rarely find the ideal job. I fully understand what you mean about teaching being traumatic and have really been thinking about how jobs gave left traumatic impressions on me. I feel that what happens is that I naturally have anxiety and when I get a job, the stress from that job becomes a major trigger, and I end up fearing even going into work bc I end up being in fight or flight the whole time. When I look back at jobs I've had, it's hard for me to actually pinpoint why I hated them so much except for the fact that my anxiety really just took over. For now I'm looking for something that is less stress than teaching while still fighting my anxiety and depression head on. Thanks again for your perspective.
Thanks LittleAnj, I think I have, the way I approached it was by working out what I could cope with, without setting my sights too low as that would have negatively affected my self esteem. So now, my job is still challenging, but I know in my heart that even if it's not perfect, it's pretty darn close to what I want. I'd recommend thinking about what you enjoy doing, and what you're naturally good at, and go from there. Try not to worry about 'shoulds' and things, though I totally understand what that's like. Do what's best for you. Browsing job websites can help to give you ideas, and looking at things that have elements of things you enjoy. I often had a fantasy about a job, some of which came true, but some areas were too tough for me to cope with having mental health issues (as with teaching). So I think it's about finding a balance with these things. Finding a job you enjoy, that is still challenging, but doesn't trigger your anxiety too much.
Thanks also for your insights, you seem like a very positive person, and committed to 'the good fight'. Keep going, I'm sure you will find something that's suitable for you and that you enjoy!