I’m 25 been suffering from anxiety since middle school. It started by thinking about death. What kid at that age fears dying. I did. Well my anxiety has been off and on and not bad at times then horrible at times. But I’m sitting there thinking one night and it hit me. Death is what makes my anxiety worse. I thought to myself. I feel like I’m gonna die but how do I kno what even dying feels like. Nobody knows cuz u can’t die then wake up like wow I died. I feel like it’s hard to feel like what it is to die. U may feel like you are but how do u kno that’s what death feels like. Idk just a thought. Lemme kno what you think.
I am 25 years old as well. My first ever panic attack was when I was 8-10 years old. (Can't remember exact age) I remember watching t.v then out of nowhere thinking "I don't want to die." I had a fit and started crying hysterically. I went to my mother and was freaking out telling her I didn't want to die. She had to get me a brown paper bag for me to breath in because I was hyperventilating. I have come to realize now that the reason I developed that fear was due to my fear of toronados when I was younger then 8. I always heard about tornados tearing apart things on the news and killing people. Everytime there was a storm my mother and siblings would scream "run! There's a tornado" and I would lock myself in the basement for hours until I knew it was safe to come out. Due to my family scaring me I developed the fear for death. Crazy how our mind develops and works!
I have been obsessed with thought about death since I was 15, and I am now 16, It's been 5 months but I am actually didn't know what was that thing on my mind and how could it haunt me for so long and still haunting me. And now I know that the reason is I was in sense of impending doom and anxiety and delusion and catastrophe, intrusive thoughs, and it keeps on haunting me because I am thinking about it too much so I cannot just "stop thinking 'bout it". I figured out I was trying to find out about it and the more I do, the more it makes me insane.