I have just been diagnosed with depression and i thought i had the support of 2 friends... now it seems i have been too much for them and feel like i have been pushed away... some background is that i have went through alot of situations where i managed to hold it together for everyone else. I.E mother-in-law disowning my husband because she took up with a paedophile ( we have 2 kids), this is still upsetting because my husband refuses to speak to someone about it. My best friend of around 20 odd years telling me i wasn't there for her when her little girl passed away ( i chose not to go to the hospital to watch her die). I was there after it at all times. Finding out on facebook my aunt is actually my sister and its never talked about. This has brought me to where i am now. One of my friends has been through depression and helped me alot and thats why i relied on her. She helped me make sense of what was going on. So now my biggest fear which was pushing people away as i feel i am toxic to everyone has happened my husband is trying to be supportive but he just keeps telling me what i have been doing to everyone!! . I am stuck... i want to get better but every time i seem to be getting a little better someone pushes me back. the stigma is still there.
Hello
Do you feel now the whole problems associated with your family members and friends now have just become on big problem and it may be an idea to move on to a new life with your Husband. The reason I ask is that We moved away from a toxic family and it was the very best thing we did five years ago. In our case it has now been five years and no-one knows where we are. In all intents and purposes only my Wifes family knows where we are.
Sometimes a new life can be the best way out as if something is so toxic to make us unhappy it is best just to leave and walk away. The only problem is we do not get any Christmas Cards at Christmas, although that is of little concerns as Christmas becomes a positive experience, not like before when we would vacate the country just to get away from their Toxicity.
That is all I can suggest, move on, be happy
BOB
You do push people away sometimes when you have depression. Usually because thay don't understand depression and never will. Did you tell your friend that you loved her child too and couldn't watch her die. If she has depression also, perhaps sitting down and talking frankly with her will help. You may have already tried but loosing a child is every womans worse fear. Im sure in her grief she couldn't possible be thinking straight. This disease causes us to act different from others at times and thay can't understand it. It goes with the disease and I hate my actions at times but we are who we are. Speak with your doc and perhaps he can help you understand or you may need a medicine change. I do want you to feel better and I hope you will very soon.
Thank you barbara. I don't see that friend anymore and i tried at the time to talk to her. I think through that i cant keep friends anymore and now recently i have pushed the only 2 friends i had left away for being obsessed with them. And my fear of having no one has been realised. What hurts most is that one of them went through depression herself and i thought she would understand that its not me its the depression. X