I posted a few weeks ago about how my depression was effecting me and how i don't really have anyone, no family, friends etc and how i just live with my mum in an rural area. I basically can't take it anymore, i do everything my doctor reccomended, go for walks, excersise, medication (helps my anxiety not so much depression) and yet i feel no different...i've just been stuck in my room for the last few days in darkness feeling like my life is hopeless.
My mum then came into today and started talking to me in a raised voice about how there is a woman at her work with depression and anxiety and that shes able to work so why can't i? and that maybe im not trying enough...makes me feel even worse, because nobody understands how alone i fell...or atleast it feels like they dont.
Then a few moments ago she asks if i want food and i reply "don't worry about it" so she proceeds to say fine she won't then tells me to go f*** myself for the rest of my days...i really don't know what i said to deserve that...but obviously there is always two sides to every story...so believe what you will... i just give up... im trapped with no one... i wish a car would just run me over...
Obviously I dont know your'e situation or your'e mums but I do think that was not a nice thing for her to say. I would never say that to my 18 year old son, whatever he did or said. It sounds like you need some therapy. If its hard for you to get anywhere I know its a problem, but you must have a local GP. Go and ask for some counselling therapy, say its urgent, because it sounds to me like it is.
Take Care.
Okay nsp,
Firstly there are many forms of depression and depression can also be a symptom of other MH illness. You are in a dark place right now but many of us have, some like me are making our way out but I isn't easy. You are lost, alone and frightened but this can change but as much as the medication can do you must also self help. Motivation gets you doing things but sometimes that is just going through the motions, you need to focus on the end goal. In hypnotherapy there is a visualisation technique call the fork in the road, relax and let your mind take you down your current path, first one week then a month, a year and five years from now. Probably not a pleasant place. Now rewind, now take the other path, this time see yourself being motivated, fighting your depression, being strong and do is again for one week, month, year then see yourself in five years how you truly want to be. This is now your goal, don't be sorry for being ill but try not to blame your mum people often don't understand fully. Go back to your GP and explain all this they can help and stay in touch and remember we are here for you "help others, help yourself" that's my motto
David
Hi buddy,
Often it can be as frustrating for those watching loved ones with depression as it is for those of us suffering with the damn condition. Unfortunately, this sense of frustration on both sides can cause misunderstandings and communication breakdown. Your Mum will always be your Mum and I'm sure she loves you and wants the best for you. But whatever her feelings, she will have to deal with those herself. You need to concentrate on YOU at the moment. Counselling is probably a good idea to guide you in the right direction and help you to feel more positive about yourself. Yes, there are still lots of things to feel positive about despite the way you are thinking. This is the right place to have a rant and there's nothing wrong with wanting to get it off your chest. You are among like-minded people who can all understand the dark place you are in right now and want to help you into the light, one step at a time. Don't give up mate. I did some voluntary work when I was unemployed (and it looks like I'm heading that way again as my job is in jeopardy after 8 months of suicidal depression). I've found that trying to focus my energies on helping others can put my own life in perspective, as long as I don't exhaust all my physical, emotional & mental resources. You still have to look after number 1 otherwise you can't be there for anyone else.
Please let us know how you are getting on. All the best. Be strong!
Digsby