I am dealing with so much at the minute. My initial response to any emotional hardship is to just suck it up and deal with it.
Only im all sucked up.
I m not suicidal but i wish i could fastforward myself to old age and on the cusp of death.
I have just had enough of existing, i cant be bothered with it all. Everything is just too hard right now and just as i see the light, something else comes flying my way! Not one day goes by where something isnt hitting me like a ton of bricks.
My anxiety is not letting up at all. It gets worse during stressful times and the stress is not stopping! I keep on trying but it feels pointless as i get nowhere. It is forever 2 steps forward and 3 steps back! Just one more step forward and ill be happy!
Poor Claire. You have a lot to deal with - you don't specify but clearly you are suffering under it all. I hope you're not alone, living either with family or friends. You need to talk about it. Have you asked your GP for help with the anxiety? Most problems are temporary: one philosophy says sit back and watch it all go away.
Don't wish for old age. I've got it and it's not glamorous. It's damned hard work, and difficult when you've lost your youthful looks.
Try to get some help, Claire. You write intelligently and articulately. You must know you need help. All of us need to ask for help at some stage. Best of luck. We're all out here for you.
Just to tell you - the lady next door to me is very ill with the dreaded cancer. She is the most gentle, unassuming person imaginable. Her problems are even worse than yours, and mine. Let's both be glad that we're not in her shoes.
Hi Clare. Sounds like your having a tough time. All I can really do is reassure you that lots of people on here have felt this way at some point, so your not alone. It's a horrible place to be but the only thing you can do is keep pushing on and I promise you will come out of the other side eventually. If you havn't already go to the doctor and find out what's available in your area to help. Medication has really helped me get my life back but there should be alternatives if you don't want to take that route.
I am sorry for moaning on and sounding ungrateful for what i do have.
I dont feel suicidal at all. Just like ive had enough with life.
Cancer is part of the problem, i think. I am finding out almost weekly of different parts to where my mums cancer has spread. I dont know what i would do without her.
Thank you all for your kind words
Hi, Claire. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment. I wish you strength, and remember to be kind to yourself. Good luck.