Hi All,
Just thought I would drop you a line, 4 weeks ago I tried to end my life, tablets washed down with vodka, Id had enough, dreading chritmas.
All I can remember is taking the tablets and the next thing I remember is waking up 2 days later in some observation ward. My husband came home early and found me, I regret been found and had he come home at his usual time I woudnt be here now. I was flat on arrival at the hospital whever that means.
My medication is given to me when I need it like some child, Im addicted to diazapam and life stinks, I have planned christmas and no friends or family are invited, I will visit my grandchildren xmas morning with great difficulty and thats it. I want know one else around me, I will be so glad when its all over.
Sorry to sound so miserable, and I might add that I am not on mirt now but seroxat, propanolol and the dreaded diazapam
Danielle I am so sorry. Life must be treating you very badly that you want to end your life. I'm glad that your husband found you. I'm not sure what to say to you apart from saying that life isn't all bad and that you need to find a new reason to live and a reason to carry on. whether that is a Christian or any other faith children or grandchildren or any other reason. I have felt as low as you and have thought that I haven't the rersources within me to get well but you will. You will find the strength to carry on and I'll pray for you whether you are a Christian or not. Pooh.
You are in my prayers too Danielle
Depression is the most evil illness but you mustn't allow it to win.
Melbi x
i have been diagnosed emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder i was orginally put on mit for lack of sleep and anxiety i found it rose my appititie and made no real difference so was placed on 30 mg so far since being on them nothing has changed i have overdosed twicwe and cut daily. feels as tho the doc is just giving me tablets for the sake of it i now have a repeat script for 7 days have t pick it up each week. i self harm so much and now even begin to plan ahead i have small razors places around my flat and in my bag ready for when i need to do it again my phyco thearpist says she is worried for my safety and thinks i should be commited but i cant stand the hought of being forced to stay somewhere i just want to get better and feel i am spiralling out of control should i tell my doc my thoughts? could risk being sectioned? but at same time what if the next time i do it its worse! i cant really decide weather i want to die or not as i have no fixed mood or feelings day in day out really dont know whats best to do any advice????
maz