loneliness and struggling to connect

Mental health
1

I left school early because I hated it, was depressed. Went to college at 17. Fell out with my friends from school shortly after, I was a good friend to them and we had a good relationship for 6 years. then they broke my trust, found out they were saying nasty stuff behind my back.

I'm a very shy introvert so never talked much in college for 2 years, however managed to hangout with a couple of people in my HND (3rd) year. I thought it was going well, however after college I never heard from them again. They never wanted to stay in touch.

I went to 2nd year of uni after HND and there was the issue of trying to connect with people who had already formed friendships in their 1st year. I really struggled with my first time away from home. My roommate was great and we hung out, but my social anxiety prevented me from really engaging with his friends, who were good people. He found a girlfriend and moved out to start a family.

I moved in another flat for 3rd year. Never made any friends again. During this year I developed alopecia totalis, hypothyroidism and vitiligo at the same time. Had to go home due to having severe depression, loneliness and anxiety, accentuated by the exam pressure and bottling up my health issues.

Took a year out, got counselling. Went back for 4th year, nearly got to the end then had a major health concern with hyperthyroidism, I was still taking levothyroxine for hypo, went thyrotoxic, also developed IBS and a lot of food was making me ill. I did not know for months why my health was declining, I couldn't walk far without fainting, got sick every time I ate, vomiting and not sleeping, severely underweight. Took another year out to recover,finished my degree.

Did a short term job for 3 months recently, but again not made any friends, I tried really really hard to push myself this time, Thought it was going well but again people just fell out of touch or wouldn't respond to texts.

Now I can't find work. My degree is useless as got 3.3 so no one really wants to take me on permanently and can't use it to go back to uni I can't afford it, couldn't handle the stress atm anyway. Having a lot of migraines recently as meds are not working well and will have to seek out radioactive iodine treatments which is not something I wan't to do. Doing a stress course atm to try and sort this out.

After nearly 10 years of not having a social life, I don't think I'm capable of making meaningful connections with other people anymore. I'm 26 with no career, I live with my dad who pays for everything . Feeling a lot of shame and that I'm a failure, (yes the illness stuff is valid, it's not my fault it happened, but it's not an excuse for not being able to make more effort now that it's manageable). I've taken years to get back to a point where I feel I can function as a person.

I want to be able to go out and meet people but I'm not even sure how to do that? I'm getting really lonely and it's hard to find the positive and get my shit together. Kinda stuck as to what to do.

Needed to vent :(

2

Oppg tough life, i’ve never been to uni, i was told i’d amount to nothing at school but went on to look after children in all capacities for years. Then…
Got sick when my dad was dying 7/8 years ago. Had a choice, after being diagnosed with IBS over 10 years ago, i just tried to carry on. I had to stop when my dad got sick my health spiralled out of control so i resigned. I couldn’t give the head space to this,i was so saddened, when my dad died. I was really broken to leave my job but initially my health got better. Now i sit at home not worked since and feel a waste of space only label i have is rape victim. I really feel like nothing, i shouldn’t be here and i have felt like that since my dad died. Oh also i don’t have any children, since i wad raped twice, so as a Catholic i am useless too. I belong nowhere!!! :sad_but_relieved_face:

3

Hi sorry to hear this and that you have got health problems too. This can’t make life easy for you.

I am wondering if you have social anxiety or never learned somehow to make friends? I ask that coz I never did but I did teach myself to around your age. If you want any more info on that please do pm me (click on my name) and I will go into more detail. x

4

Dear
by such thinking, you further weaken yourself.
and i am right in saying so.
No doubt, these many years of troubles have weakened you.
root cause of all disease is weakened life force in our body. manifestation of disease depends on inherent tendencies and disorientation of life force.

dear
first , believe that you shall be fine. no matter how bad situation seems to you, still you should believe that all shall be fine. i know our weakened brain cells affect our thinking and thoughts. that is why, we need to go beyond our brains. this step of going beyond brain is “most difficult” . our real mind, our TRUE SOURCE OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND BEING is beyond our brain.

please please at least you should be friend of yourself, even if others are not. these other people who ignore you do not have any deep understanding. if they knew deep truths, they will be your friends.
so be happy.
even if you do not have a career, remain steel like in your feelings. do not let your feeling be affected.
you must PROTECT yourself from the insensitive environment of people who are concerned only with their own happiness.
so be happy and remain unruffled by what others say about you.
you are captain of yourself. if you harm yourself by negative estimation, then this mostly insensitive world shall take no notice of you.
we are living in materialistic times/age. our civilization /society is yet to evolve, even though it seems to be evolving at very slow pace.
so take care of yourself by positve thinking.
SOME SOLUTION WILL COME IN YOUR LIFE. CONTINUE TO BE POSITIVE.