Loneliness is it a silent killer?

Other conditions
1

Some people may be surrounded by family and feel lonely. Others may be surrounded by friends and feel lonely. What would you suggest to overcome/reduce loneliness?

2

Be yourself with every one. You dont have to pretend to be with family or friends. Then give people a chance to choose the real you. Coz only relationships made on true appearances last long if not forever that is. Or ypu know stop bothering that u r alone. Wtach shows on internet and meet movie watching targets. persue your dreams. And in all of this you will come across people who will be worth sharing your loneliness.

3

People who have hearing loss can be very lonely even in crowded situations.  People without hearing loss can become very frustrated at trying to speak with people who are hard of hearing so often just give up.  People with eharing loss can then be left out of conversations.  I am a hearing aid wearer and would urge anyone who has difficulty holding conversations with people in the company of others to have a hearing test.  If hearing aids are prescribed I would advise people to persevere with them.  They have revolutionised my life - and that of my husband's.  He is not constantly having to repeat things for me.  People often do not know they have hearing loss because they are not deaf.  It is clarity that is most often the problem becuase the ability to hear certain sounds in speech is impaired.  This means words are often misheard which further leads to loneliness because people think the contribution you make to conversation does not make sense.

4

Dear Gloria, 

I do not understand why Katlin understands you to have a hearing problem.  However, I use two hearing aids and agree with everything she wrote regarding hearing loss.

When I was diagnosed with PCa I informed all my close family of that diagnosis. In addition I informed selected friends. This ensured that my PCa was an open subject and that there was no awkward barrier to maintaining those relationships. I also keep those in-the-know people uptodate information with updates at key points as well as answering questions openly and honestly. This openness has maintained the relationships in a healthy condition. It is thus I have avoided depression and lonelinees.

George

5

Hi George and Katlin,

I think Katlin was just pointing out that there is more reasons than just lack of family or friends for loneliness. My mum suffered from hearing loss so I understand how difficult it is to be in group situations.

I agree with you George that open communication is healthy for relationships.

While I belief the use of the internet can isolate people into staying at home. For those of us that are otherwise unable to get out and about it is a great source of knowing people from all over the world for whom you would not otherwise meet.

6

Dear Gloria,

Yes indeed.I sympathise greatly with your mother. In an earlier discussion on disability I asserted that hearing loss is a serious disability although not generally held to be so. I am all too aware of the misery of being alone in a crowded room. It is a terrible loneliness as every frustrating miserable moment thrusts your isolation in your face while others rejoice in each others company. As a result I am very reluctant to accept invitations to meetings of several people let alone a crowd. Kindly well meaning people encourage me to join in not at all undestanding the anguish they are urging on me. 

The loneliness of the 'hard of hearing' is desperate. Written communications by web or paper are a great solace and put the deaf on a even plain with those who hear well. This forum not only ministers to my needs in emotional support and information relative to my prostate cancer but also ministers to my loneliness as I velue my e-friends very highly. Although I do not see their faces I am not so alone. Instant chat is better but very difficult to arrange. The forum is reliable as is email as each party can take their own time and pace PLUS multiple conversations can flow, all be it slowly. 

Bless you dear Gloria, George

7

Hi Gloria,

First of all, stop saying that you are alone. You are not. You are luck to be surrounded with people who love you.

I would advise you spend some time remembering all good things in your life and just be yourself..you will feel better smile

Best wishes. Good luck!

Paige Xx

8

Hi Paigebee, 

But if Gloria is depressed, she counting her blessings, be they ever so many , her depression will remain. Depressed people CANNOT  pull themselves together and get on with life. Unhappy people can.

9

Hi paigebee,

You are right I am surrounded by people who love me. I never question that. I recognize that some of the people on this site are reaching out to others. I was merely making a general statement about loneliness in an attempt to get to know others.

Regards

Gloria

10

Hi George,

I think your right about this forum, it does play and informative and a social role. I am new to talking on forums and reply far too slow to instant chat with people. I always enjoy reading your replies.

Regards,

Gloria

11

Thank you Gloria. That warms my heart. If you are following my posts you will see what I wrote earlier this afternoon about the importance of this forum to me. I hope others find it equally true. George

12

Hi georgeGG,

There is always a solution to this. As per the saying 'Just breathe, life goes on'. I would like to add 'Smile', 'Smile, breathe..life goes on'.

With this in mind, you find life in another perspective; maybe make those who are depressed feel better about themselves? smile

Agree with you, this forum helps people in need. And I'm sure Gloria will find a way for her.

 

13

Hi Gloria,

Good way to interact and get to know each other.

I wish you good health dear.

Best wishes for the New Year smile

14

Hi paigebee,

Thank you. Yes I am finding that there is a lot of wonderful caring people on this site.

Happy New Year

15

Would be interested in Comments .first time on here don't really know my way around .I have a job a boyfriend and friends .But hate living alone .hate the evenings .

16

Hi Linda,

Welcome to the forum. We all start by stumbling around the forum. I suggest you put a few details in your profile. Nothing that will give you a confidentiality problem. That will help people make relevant comments. 

George

17

Thanks George .where do I find the bit to put my profile in ? Linda 

18

Hello Linda,

Make a note please of the following. That is easier than trying to remember a lot of strange instructions.

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Near the top right click MY ACCOUNT

find the heading  FORUMS then under it find and click VIEW YOUR PROFILE

the top left of new screen ABOUT ME   click or move the text - initially an invite to enter data.Move or click that text. An EDIT link appears. Click it.

A text box appears. Enter your text. Remember to keep you text annonimous. When finished click SAVE CHANGES. If you get in a muddle press CANCEL. You can then start again no damage done.

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I hope this helps. Ask again if this does not resolve the matter.

George xxxxx

19

To reduce lonliness you need to make peace with youself. It is not lonliness it is actually a habit when we are with people our mind is not there we are thinking of something else and when we come back to senses we just think we are lonely in the crowd. Dont dream live in present and enjoy it you wont feel lonely anymore be in hat moment.

20

I was suggesting a possible reason for loneliness whilst in company.  This is uppermost in my mind at present as North Staffs CCG want to stop providing hearing aids on the NHS to adults with mild to moderate hearing loss.  I have attended one of their board meetings in public and spoken with the chair of the CCG to try to encourage him to understand how profoundly hearing loss can affect the lives of people.  However, although a GP, he seemed not to understand the effects of hearing loss.  Most people think that that if they can hear there is not a problem  It is much more involved than that.  Without my hearing aids I hear a jumble of sounds that sometimes make sense and sometimes do not.  It all depends on the frequencies of the sounds, the frequencies I can hear and the decibel level I can hear different frequencies at.  Quite mild hearing loss can have a substantial effect on understanding what is being said if there is background noise.  it is the lack of clarity, not just the volume, that causes misunderstanding.  I would suggest anyone who thinks they may have a hearing problem to have a look at the Action on Hearing Loss website.  They are fighting hard to get the North Staffs CCG to change their mind.  Also Devon and Cornwall CCGs want to restrict hearing aid provision.