My story all starts about 3 months ago. I had been on 20mg of Citalopram for 7 years and decided very stupidly to go off it just cold turkey. I know I know this was a terrible mistake. Fast forward to 2 months after cold turkey and I hit rock bottom. It started slowly and I just broke down emotionally and physically. I went to a doctor and was prescribed 20mg Citalopram which I took for 2 weeks and then was upped to 40mg which I took for 2 weeks. I thought the 40mg was too much for me so reduced to 30mg with doctors advice for the past 3 days. I would say I have been on the tabs now as a total for 5 weeks.
My issue is I thought I would be back to my old self and I am not. My biggest concern is this weird feeling I have mentally. It's hard to describe but it's almost as if I can't think and my brain is just shut off. I go through the day like a zombie snd can't show any emotions. I have lost touch with the world. It's like I know what's going on but my mind just can't process it. I don't feel any real anxiety or depression and don't feel anxious. Everyone around me seems happy and my life is just blah. I feel like I will never be ok. The mornings and nights are the worst. I wake up in the morning feeling confused and lost. I sometimes feel like I don't know what's going on and I do t know where I am. As I am typing this I feel like a shell inside my body. The world is moving and I am just standing still.
I am am just looking for some support and if anyone has any suggestions. Will I ever be able to feel emotions again? Should I get the tabs a few more weeks? I do have moments where I feel great and my mind is clear which is nice. Anyone else share their stories?
Hi .. I am currently taking 40 mg too and can totally relate to what u are saying I wake up feeling so strange makes it really difficult to function I also don't know weather to get the tablets changed of give them longer .. I spend a lot of time crying and it uncontrolable crying like my head shudders it's awful.. Did u have it last time u took them I have them about 5 years ago and didn't feel much from them but this time seems to be quite different ...
Hello mate I have been on and off 20mg of citalopram for 15 years and on it I feel normal totally!!! But something in my mind tells me to come off the meds! I come off and slowly but surely the anxiety depression creeps back! I've now decided to stay on for life! I feel great! However that doesn't help you! But my advice would be stay on the same does age of citilapram don't keep changing amount you take and eventually I'm sure you will stabilise and be well!!! Good luck and keep me informed regards simon
I am shedding tears for you. I stupidly quit my migraine medication cold turkey. ( look up topamax so you know what im talking about) I was on a high dose for 4 months without telling my doc. Stupid me. From being on this med I quickly developed severe out of body panic attacks where I would be unresponsive for up to 20mins . General anxiety about dying. Extremely irritable. A feeling the same as you like I wasnt myself. Depersonalization I think its called . Just awful.
Of course I didn't know about withdrawals from this med I also had a few life factors that where making me anxious. Anyway I went to my gp and she said I had an anxiety disorder. I didnt think at any point to tell her that I quit my meds cold turkey. She prescribed fluoxetine
I was hesitant to try it cos she said it would make my anxiety worse. I waited 3 days then thought wat the hey ill take the 10mg and see what happens. ......
WORST 6 DAYS OF MY LIFE.
I had the worst feelings I couldn't really recognize me my husband looked different. My brain felt like it was detached. I couldn't think. The only emotion I had was fear and I would cry every night because I wanted the old me back. I lost concept of time. Time was speeding by and I felt like I was paused in time. It felt like a very bad dream.
Im off to the doc in an hour. I haven't taken fluoxetine today . And I only took 5mg yesterday and it still made me crazy.
I don't remembers aging this tough of time the last time I took them. I felt like they kicked in a lot sooner. I wake up and am confused to were I am and it makes me freak out even more. I am hoping to give them a little more time and I will pull through. I am doing ok now so I know that it is just going to take time.
I do realize I need to stay on the pills for the rest of my life. I am fine with being in meds if they make me live a happy life. I just wish my brain would go back to being happy and I could enjoy life again.
Yea a lot of people are telling me to give them a bit more time altho my doc said last week if I'm feeling now better this week she will change them but I'm a bit scared coz these are the second lot I've tried this time round so if I have to change again that will be 3 different lots and 3 different side effects .. It so hard there is so many different 1s it could take forever to find the right 1s . Glad u r feeling a little better x
thanks Emma for your response. I never wish I would have gone cold turkey off those meds. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my young life and I wish I could take it back. I have been back on now for about 5 weeks. I do see some light at the end of the tunnel but am so worried it will be like this forever. I live alone snd far far away from family and friends so makes it tough just sitting inside alone. I actually look forward to going to work during the week because it helps. I am the same way as you as it feels like I lost concept of time. I am always guessing the time and looking at my phone to see how much time has gone by. It's like I haven't been living for the past month and everyone else is just enjoying life. I hope your doctors appointment goes well. Hang in there and feel free to private message me if you want to chat.
I really truly think the meds make it worse. I cant really comment because my initial probs were part of a withdrawal. But being on the meds definitely made things worse. I know I was only on them for six days but I have read vast pages about how ppl don't feel like their true selves. Eg. Emotionless toward other people.
I have also read quitting cold turkey can take months even up to a year to get your brain back to homeostasis. I have compared the withdrawal symptoms of opiate users and I had a lot of the mental ones. So maybe come off slowly wat your on now and seek alternative ways to cope xx
Hi I felt like a Zombie on Citalopram & have witnessed other people like that too. I now what you mean. I was on 20mg, they wanted to up me to 40mg, I refused & came off it in favour of Sertraline. Felt better on that drug for a while biut had to up the dose. I can't seem to get past 8 months medication free. I'm starting on Mirztazipine now, 7.5mg to start with.
I know this is quite an old post, bit I have the exact t same experience as you!
I was on topirimate for 2 months for migraises, had to come off it due to horrendous side effects and it left me an absolutely changed person! I tapered down to 25mg for a few days then quit... The worst week of my life! The panic attacks, vomiting walong through out the night panicking, didn't know who I was, extremely depressed etc.
even though I started topirimate last March, the panic and anxiety never left me and im in a constant state of depersonalization and derealisation .