Hi folks, I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember but in the past few months it is really amplified, due to a number of issues.
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I became estranged from my father just after Christmas. He is an alcoholic and has always verbally and emotionally abused me. It came to a head when on Christmas Day, he held my 8 month daughter and interrogated me about my brother (who he hasnt had a relationship with in almost 20 years). He found out my brother changed his surname to my stepdads (which really wasnt his business). A few days later he left pictures of me and my brother on my mothers doorstep (thankfully my mum was out at the time so didnt have to see him). My husband messaged him and told him to stay away from us from now on, which he has thankfully done so.
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My sister in law. She is married to my brother and they live in a different country. She is quite loud but usually a nice person. She is younger than my brother, me and my husband and already had a daughter when she met my brother, who we have always treated as our own. My sister in law gets a birthday card and gift from us every year. Last year she got her first Auntie card. She and my brother had a baby in December. Ever since, I have noticed that she doesnt like any photos we post of our daughter. She is the type of person who posts everyday, so everyday we see a new pic of the new baby (that we always like). They have never sent my husband even a card for his birthday. On his birthday a few weeks ago, I posted up some stories that she viewed, so she knew it was his birthday. She didnt message to say Happy Birthday. She then proceeded to post a picture of our new niece, and tag all the family in it bar my husband. She even tagged her brothers girlfriend who she hates. She then messaged our group chat saying about a movie her daughter was watching … but still no happy birthday message. Finally some commented under a picture of my husband and daughter saying Happy Birthday Uncle with a picture of her two daughters. husband loves her older girl to pieces and treats her much better than what my sister in laws husband does. He brings her everywhere and buys her whatever she wants when he sees her. My sister in laws brother doesn’t even spend time with her. My husband says it’s OK but really it’s not and it has made me so angry. My sister in laws family basically treat her like crap, I find it unbelievable that she would then come into this family and start treating one of the members like crap. Would love to know some thoughts on this and how I could maybe address it? My sister in law genuinely is the type of person that does expect everything to be about her and her kids.
3 The last thing is my employer. Very long story, but basically they were aware of my return from maternity for over two months and had been asked to contact me to discuss my return and they didn’t, I had to initiate contact myself. I raised two issues of my anxiety and fear of returning and childcare issues. I wasn’t asked about either issues and was called 6 days before my return to say I had to go into the office as there’s no equipment for me - the rest of my team, my manager and majority of building are all working from home. They’ve really shown no evidence to show that they were actively seeking equipment for me to work the way my team are working, even though they knew my return for over 2 months. I am aware that there were devices on order for March. I was given no clear plan, my manager said ‘I don’t know’ to every question I asked - who do I report to with you not there, what support will I have, what safety measures are in place as I’m frightened of covid etc. I ended up so upset that I called my doctor and she was appalled that they have put me in this situation. I am now back on meds and have been signed off work sick as she doesn’t think I’m mentally capable to enter the building with no support. I have since been advised that my work won’t look for equipment for me while I’m off sick. My manager has now called me twice acting like he cares but really it’s because I have stated that I feel I am getting no support to help facilitate my return and he’s now trying to cover his back. This is a really long story with so many parts to it so any questions please ask, but again I’m be interested to know people’s opinions. I have contacted my union who have said it may point toward indirect discrimination through mismanagement.
I feel like I am losing the plot to be honest. Anyone any tips for even calming short term? I am not sleeping and not eating much either at the mo 