Loss of health, feeling hopeless and depressed

Mental health
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Hello all, I am feeling hopeless and depressed, more so at the moment because my health is worseing and losing my mobility. I suffer a lot of physical pain. My anxiety is also high at the moment. Knowing my inability to walk is increasing everyday is making my depression worse. I feel angry and frustrated. I cannot talk to my daughters as they will not understand. I live alone and struggle everday. I wake up thinking what's the point, i have nothing to look forward to and don't see many people. Just wanted to vent a bit of frustration and hope that someone can understand. I have never posted here myself before because i like to help others, but i answer many other posts. Just a listening ear would help today, i just feel so alone with this. 

Elizabeth.

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Goodmorning Elizabeth20203,

I have just read your posting,I feel this for you so very much,.I too know the feeling of trying to help others, yet not having anyone reply to my own postings ,when it could be of help to me  knowing (as you do now) that we are not alone in how we are feeling .

I sometimes wonder just what is the point in all this ,suffering we go through,and feeling helpless and hopelesss.

I too have depression at times ,like you I do not tell my family ,apart from them possibly not understanding,at the moment 3 of them all have their own health problems ,so I therefore don`t tell them how I am feeling ,this would just add further worries about me, to their own worries ,so I deal with it by telling my Husband (at times ) but although he tries to understand he doesnt do.

I don`t know what your beliefes are Elizabeth, but I also use only complimentary therapies,for my IBS etc ,I have never used prescribed drugs,I also believe in the power of prayer,and I pray every day ,and I talk to my sweet Lord Jesus daily,.although it doesn`t remove the problem I might be having at that time ,It does help knowing he listens to us.

I know lots of people do not habe these beliefs Elizabeth ,and that is their own choice which everyone is entitled to have ,all I know is it helps me ,maybe it could help you too.

I am in here most days ,not all day ,and not at the same time but if you wish to message me ,please feel free to do so ,I am more than willing to listen  ,

Take Care

millyimp1322

I don`t have

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Goodmorning Elizabeth20203,

I have just read your posting,I feel this for you so very much,.I too know the feeling of trying to help others, yet not having anyone reply to my own postings ,when it could be of help to me  knowing (as you do now) that we are not alone in how we are feeling .

I sometimes wonder just what is the point in all this ,suffering we go through,and feeling helpless and hopelesss.

I too have depression at times ,like you I do not tell my family ,apart from them possibly not understanding,at the moment 3 of them all have their own health problems ,so I therefore don`t tell them how I am feeling ,this would just add further worries about me, to their own worries ,so I deal with it by telling my Husband (at times ) but although he tries to understand he doesnt do.

I don`t know what your beliefes are Elizabeth, but I also use only complimentary therapies,for my IBS etc ,I have never used prescribed drugs,I also believe in the power of prayer,and I pray every day ,and I talk to my sweet Lord Jesus daily,.although it doesn`t remove the problem I might be having at that time ,It does help knowing he listens to us.

I know lots of people do not habe these beliefs Elizabeth ,and that is their own choice which everyone is entitled to have ,all I know is it helps me ,maybe it could help you too.

I am in here most days ,not all day ,and not at the same time but if you wish to message me ,please feel free to do so ,I am more than willing to listen  ,

Take Care

millyimp1322

xx

 

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Oh you poor thing! Are you sure your daughters would not understand? What is it that is physically wrong with you which is affecting your mobility? Do you have any help at all?

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Hello Elizabeth.  I am so sorry you are so depressed at the moment and are in so much pain.

You have always replied to others, and you are right, I have never seen you post before how poorly you are.  I wish I could do something to help, I really do.  If only I lived nearer to you.  I would willingly visit as I don't like being alone.  I find loneliness very difficult to deal with.  I am lucky that I cas get out, and I sympathise so much that you are losing yout mobility.  I can really understsand why this is making your depression worse and that you feel angry and frustrated.

You are such a lovely lady, always giving support here to others.  I know what you mean about not being able to talk to your daughters, because I feel the same.  I have a daughter who is quite supportive, but my son would be acutely embarrased if I discussed how I feel with him. 

I think there may be a scheme where you can get someone to visit you like a befriender.  I see my local voluntary service does advertise this sort of thing.  I have thought about being a befriender, but not sure if I am up to it.  Just lost a volunary job because my anxiety made it too difficult for me to attend meetings. 

Yes you vent your frustration and anger here.  That is what the forum is for.  We all have depression and will support you as much as we can.  Not to able to go out because of pain and mobility problems is so frustrating.  Not to have anything to look forward to is really depressing. 

You have my listening ear dear lady, and you carry on posting how you feel.  Time you let us know how you are feeling. 

I really wish I could do more. 

Love Anne xx

 

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Dear Millyimp, Thank you for replying i appreciate that. Yes i am a born again Christian so i do believe in prayer, thou i have lost my faith at the moment. My family don't understand and don't want to know about my suffering. My doctor has said that i am exhausted because of pain and he has put me on a new drug to try which i have to get this week. 

Elizabeth.

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Hi Evergreen, I have Arthritis in my Spine and my knees. I have had two knee replacements on one and suffer a lot of nerve pain. I cannot walk far, sit comfortable, stand or bend without severe pain. Life is hard. I have no help at all and i live on my own. My Daughters do not understand or want to know, if i try to talk to them it ends in rows. This has happened today, i tried talking to my Daughter and she told me i am not welcome at her house anymore, she said i only think about myself, this is not true. Her partner said he doesn't want me there either. I am very upset and have done nothing wrong.

Elizabeth. 

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Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your reply ,it is ok you are more than welcome ,I am so sorry your family don`t want to know ,this must be deeply hurtful for you .You have brought them up and been a good mum to them ,of this I have no doubt.

I too lost my faith Elizabeth ,but then just over 3 months ago ,I realised I had not lost it at all,it had just been mislead ,and was simply hiding there and waiting for me to make contact with it again

As the born again christain you are ,I ask you very gently Elizabethe to please try this night ,and ask  our sweet Lord Jesus to guide you back to your deep Christian faith ,at the same time ask him in prayer to help you through this tria ,by giving you the inner strength you are in need of .

Elizabeth ,I will put you in my prayer list if that is ok with you .

"

Please sweet and loving lord Jesus ,bring to this thy dear child ,the help and support she is deeply in need of Amen  "

I was very impressed to offer up this prayer for you Elixabeth I do hope you don`t mind

Take Care

millyimp1322

xx

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Hello Anne, thanks for your support. I am struggling to do normal things now like housework etc. It's practical support i need and don't know where to ask for help.I will send you an e.mail as i have had a difficult day which as worsened due to family difficulities.

Elizabeth.

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That is just awful! I cannot understand how you talking about your pain could end in rows and telling you you are not welcome. That is just evil. I am confused by how a daughter and son in law could turn on you just because you tried to talk to them about your troubles.

I don't know about what help could be available for you, but I would have thought you must qualify for some type of disabled benefit or help. Have you llooked into this? I am so sorry you are going through this alone.

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Thank you xx

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Neither can i understand this myself. I was talking about general stuff at first but she twisted everything i said. I mentioned i went to the doctors and he has put me on a new drug and refered me for physiotherapy then she got nasty and said it was all about me even thou i had asked how she was and how her day went when she took her Nephew out. I am baffled.   

Elizabeth.

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Hello there.  I have always had faith, but only started going back to church last year.  Unfortunately I found it so emotional, that I found myself in tears each time I went.  Taking communion was particularly emotional.  So I signed up for the Alpha course, only to find that too emotional too.  I have depression and anxiety and found it hard to talk about myself.  The people were sympathetic, but I have not been able to go back to church.

So lovely to offer a prayer for Elizabeth.  We all need comfort.  Thank you for your kind words to Elizabeth.  She is a lovely lady.

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Hello Anne,

Many thanks for your reply,I have just come back online ,soon only just seen it now.My faith for a lot of years Anne  was that of being a spiritualist person.,I am not a medium in any shape or form ,but I did believe the churches I went to ,and I became a qualifieds healer in the church ,I qualified through the NFSH.

More  recently late last year I became concerned ,and came straight back to the religion of my upbringing  Church Of England .

I find it emotional when saying my prayers too ,it is so strange isn`t it ?sometimes I am saying my prayers through my tears ,yet they are not tears of sadness at my life,they are tears of sadness of how our world has become ...I was so strongly impressed the other day to say a prayer for Elizabeth ,I just could not ignore it .. I feel it for you being emotionalat going back to your Church Anne,and understand .You will I feel eventually feel more able to go back in time ,you know our sweet Lord Jesus will guide you back at the time that is right for you to go .I feel that Elizabeth is as you say a lovely lady ,it would be nice to keep in touch with you and her ,if you would like us to do this please feel free to let me know till then I will say bye for now Anne

Take Care

millyimp1322

xx

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Good morning, Elizabeth,,, George Here.

It's the same with me . honey, i feel worse when my " aches and pains " kick off. but they do , like yours, and its terribly difficult to get family and friends to appreciate our discomfort. I saw a very old friend pass away last week..., and felt real frustration that I was unable to help, , how can we change things ?? I try to listen most of the time, and appreciate your post............sounds like we are both in the same boat..............A friendy ear never goes amiss, and a companion is worth their weight in gold, regards, George,

(a bit long in the tooth, but my grandkids tell me that i am tolerable in small doses !!!XX)

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Hello George, thank you for replying. Your comment made me smile about your grandkids. My grandkids keep me going as one is a baby and the other is 3, she fetches my stick and calls me grandma stick, haha. It's good that we have others here to talk with and listen to. I get no support from my children, they don't want to know. I babysit for my daughter regulary and enjoy my time with the grandkids. Without that i would be more lost. My grandson will be 1 in a couple of weeks cannot believe how fast they are growing up. We must keep smiling George. I have read some of your replys to people here and what a great help you are to others.

Best wishes.

Elizabeth.   

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Elizabeth I am so sorry you are in this position and I too can't believe how your family can be so callous.   You are a very kind and lovely lady who always helps out others and I have seen you doing exactly that on here lots of times.

You don't deserve this and I really feel for you.   You might be entitled to other benefits so have a gander at  direct.gov.uk  Especially look up PIP if you are under retirement age of Attendance Allowance if you are over.  There is practical help out there but you have to fight for it unfortunately.

I am usually around somewhere so please pm me anytime you want.  

Love and hugs  Bev xx

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I see my reply is waiting to be moderated but don't know why.  I didn't put any links on it or anything.  If it doesn't get passed please pm me and I will talk to you there.  Bev x

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Hi, I will check later to see if your reply is here.

Elizabeth

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Would your doctors surgery be able to put you in touch with organisations who can give you practical help in the home?