Hi all, Stories i have read always say that the person loved their partner before all of this or knows they love them but keep getting the intrusive 'love doubt' thoughts... whereas with me there are a lot of things that could have influenced the was i felt from very early on... as for the first time in a relationship i doubted my love and feelings from the beginning... To give a brief run down i have been with my boyfriend over 2 years now, and how we got together I don’t think helped the situation... during my last relationship previous to my current, I had cheated on my partner very early in the relationship (during dating) which set off an enormous amount of guilt and worry for the 1.5 years we were together until I told him after we split up... during that time however I had experience severe anxiety everyday which caused me to fall ill and lose weight etc... after splitting with my ex I soon met my current boyfriend, and we were on and off between me having difficulty getting over my ex but the anxiety and guilt had gone since I’d told my ex the truth. I thought that due to missing my ex and struggling to get over him caused me feeling doubtful clouded towards my new partner as doubts began to occur very early on, I put this down to the struggles with getting over my ex... however to my recollection these doubts never fully went away and soon after we got together I had a massive outburst of ‘what if I had cheated on my new partner’ (even though I hadn’t) this quickly spiralled and before I knew it the daily anxiety that I’d experienced with my ex was back and I was convinced that I had cheated on my new partner... my new partner knew everything as I couldn’t keep secrets like I had before after suffering the consequences of this with my ex... a few months of this went by where I was convinced I’d cheated on him and the guilt was surging! My new partner eased this by telling me if I had cheated he wouldn’t leave me... Then the doubts returned regarding my feelings towards him and all of a sudden I was asking myself ‘well if I could have cheated so easily it must mean I don’t love him... the BAM this was the new worry and cause for anxiety... my partner has said that once he has solved one of my anxieties that I create another one... but to me these are real thoughts and feelings and are real problems! So since then and to my recollection I feel I have either always doubted my feelings for my new partner from day one or not loved him ever.... and also compared him to my ex.... So as you can imagine I’m torn between are these thoughts and feelings of not loving my partner real... and the fact i have never really been single for long and also HATE breaking up with people the only reasons for me not leaving him... or are they caused by my anxiety and I do really love him... that my anxiety is causing me to thing and feel thoughts and feelings that are not real/true reflection of how i truely feel...maybe me having such anxiety in my last relationship has caused me to always need something to worry about and In my partners words I have found an issue that he cannot solve... I have had CBT for my anxiety and I have waves where I feel oh I do love him, possibly... and it’s all my anxiety then I revert back to no I feel like I don’t love him at all and it’s all real!! my CBT therapist confirmed that anxiety can cause people to think and feel actualy thoughts and feelings that are not real... however nothing is a permanent fix and i worry i will never know if i love him or not... I have known my current partner for 10 or more years. We were friends before getting together so I thought maybe this effected the way I felt... and also because in my last relationship I was surrounded by guilt... maybe this was what made me think I loved my ex... a clouded guilty love... where as with my new partner I have no guilt at all.... which is a first for me... so maybe this is me in love and i have just never felt it before? I’m at a loss and was wondering if you could help! My partner Is everything I had ever wanted in a man and he is such a unique and amazing person... I don’t want to hurt him or drag this relationship out if I don’t love him I just don’t want to do that to him! It breaks my heart! i criticize things he does and says because i am analyzing whether it is something i want or if it means i do not love him! People keep telling my only I know if I love him but I just don’t know... and I hope and pray that it is my anxiety making me feel this way and think these thoughts... because I see a future with him but I’m the type of person that I cannot invest if there is no love! I hope someone can shed some light and help me :(