This is my first time posting anything like this so go easy on me .
A bit about myself , I'm 23 unemployed and have no friends .I haven't worked in 5 years as I'm to afraid to . I met my boyfriend (now ex) through work and he treated like dirt , constantly insulting me and telling me how amazing and gorgeous other women were and everytime I tried to leave him he threatened suicide . Eventually I moved away and was finally able to finish with him . He knocked my confidence completely , I hated myself and felt like the ugliest person in world and I still do. After 2 years he got back in touch and we got back together for a couple months and during that time I found out that the 3 years we'd been together he'd been cheating on me . It crushed me so I broke up with him again . I only got back with him again because I was lonely , I hadn't had a relationship since him because of anxiety and lack of confidence but I I knew him so my anxiety around him wasn't as bad .
Since then everything feels worse , I really want to go to college , make friends ,get a job, learn to drive , live my life but I don't want to leave the house anymore because I feel I'm so ugly people will stare . I've had guys that have shown interest in me but I always feel it's because they're desperate and like my ex they will settle for me so I always turn them down . I would like to meet someone and do all the things I want with my life but I just don't know how to cope with my anxiety and get some self confidence . Has anyone any advice on what I can do to change all this or been in a similar situation ?
Also I'm sorry for the essay I needed to vent a little bit .
I had a similar experience with my ex girlfriend , although I was the one who wore her down because of my problems... I eventually let her go because she deserved to be happy and I could make it happen.
What you need to do is erase this man from your life... I get that you feel lonely but going back to a guy who cheats on you , verbally (and I hope not physically) abuses you and has no respect for you whatsoever , is a no-no. You deserve better and you NEED to believe that!
If you ever feel lonely do something that would please you... Shopping , a hobby, talking to your parents...
And of course you could always see a therapist to help you through this tough time.
Hello Law, So sorry you are going through this. First and foremost, let noone steal your joy. You had enough guts and strength to dump him so that's a positive step. You have to believe in yourself and know that all things are possible. I would hope you are seeking help for your anxiety and self esteem. You sound like a wonderful/beautiful person but you have to believe that. As far as work, you can work from home. Perhaps find a support group. But you have to want it bad enough. As far as men go, just be friends, no sex, get to know the person. Surround yourself with positive, nurturing People. Wis h you all th e best. Have faith.
I bet your not ugly, you only feel like you are ugly because of your horrible ex boyfriend that has put you down no wonder you have no self esteem, it's time to get your self esteem back! Please live your life and do the things you want to do, enrol in college I bet that will make you feel better, book a driving lesson, honestly when you start doing things for your self you will feel so positive about your future, I promise you things will get better! Start taking baby steps to build your confidence up, even if it's just voluntary work or part time. It's time to live your life and forget about that waste of space of a boyfriend! One day you will look back and laugh and think why the hell was I even with him! My boyfriend dumped me when we were living together after 8 years of being together at the age of 27, I had the worst week of my life, I was so depressed, crying all the time...but after a week I accepted the fact we were over!! And I started living my life and had loads of fun!!! Anyways he came chasing back to me and we're married now with a 7 year old boy lol! (I'm 36 now)....please please please go out and have fun, achieve something, do what you want to do!! Take care xxxx